Oh my God. Is this not the most beautiful redhead you’ve ever seen? She makes Jessica Rabbit look like a truckload of suck. Jessica Chastain, I am enchanted.
If this was Michelle Pfeiffer I would be saying, “Daaaaamn she looks good!” But it isn’t, it’s AMANDA FREAKIN’ SEYFRIED and so my response is, “Holy shit!!!” She looks like she aged 10 years! And also, my God, Karen, follow Regina’s lead and get on an all-carb diet! This makes me sad. She had a hot body and now for whatever reason she’s half the size. And it’s not like she’s going Christian Bale Machinist here. This isn’t for a movie or a role. This is just what’s expected of actresses — at some point in their career, they get super crazy skinny and we’re supposed to be okay with it.
Well this is a bit much, isn’t it? Did Jennifer Lawrence have a wedding today we didn’t know about?
I don’t even know what to say about this contraption that Zoe Saldana is wearing. Anyone want to help me?
Who keeps inviting Jason Schwartzman to places where he has to wear a suit? He’s not good at it. He never gets it to fit right. And he’s always so close! I am loving this Clark Gable mustache and hair thing he has going though.
Sally Field looks super cute! The train is way too much but she looks so fresh-faced and pretty. She’s a super sweet lady too, by the way. P.S. SUPER!
LOL Olivia Munn, you look so stupid. (Look, the site is called Evil Beet, okay? So I’m gonna lay this shit out like a rug. I’m not going to mince words. Mincing is for onions. For tacos. Oh man I wish I had some tacos right now.)
Michelle Obama’s arch nemesis Kerry Washington looks so pretty but then you have the classic scroll down where something unfortunate happens and bam, it’s a train. What is with all these trains this year?
Eff yeah Helena Bonham Carter, I can always count on you to show up as Marla Singer, complete with a crazed look in your eyes. Thank you for this. I think she’s the most generous woman in Hollywood. She’s got her own style and flaunts it like she’s saying, “Yeah, ladies, I know I’ll get worst dressed this year. I’ll take the bullet for you. I don’t give a f-ck.”
Melissa McCarthy is here wearing grey so brace yourselves for the inevitable onslaught of mean comments comparing her to an elephant. Boy oh boy, I can’t wait for that! /sarcasm.
Bryan Cranston arrived with his wife, Robin Dearden. I can’t even handle what she’s wearing, but Cranston looks dapper as always. Jason Schwartzman, this is an example of a suit that fits. Study it. Stop playing with your mustache and study it.
Jane Fonda. Oh sweet lady Jane, we have to talk about this. You’re just as beautiful and slim as ever, and you’re ruining it by dressing in this 1980’s Barbie-Goes-To-The-Oscars dress. And the hair isn’t helping. Why are you doing this to me? I love you.
Charlize Theron. Uh, okay. I, uh. Okay. Well, uh. Okay. Hey, at least it’s not boring!
Oh man, I just remembered that Jennifer Hudson has an Oscar. And here she is in some sort of 1970’s Cher throwback, like straight-up Bob Mackie style. She looks great it in, and I might be able to be fine with it if not for those shoes.
THIS is Norah Jones?? What???
Reese Witherspoon, wearing something kind of similar to what Helen Hunt is wearing but slightly more interesting. Ugh, so now I have to post Helen Hunt’s dress, and I don’t want to because it’s so boring. But okay.
Helen Hunt looking great yet boring.
Dusty Springfield Adele. SO much better than her Grammy’s look.
So glad the most boring woman alive could be here, AKA Jennifer Aniston. I think I like the color. Not much else. Oh, I like the hair.
OMFG Nicole Kidman you goddess. I love this weird dress. LOVE. That effing train though. Also wish you wore your hair down with this, like CZJ. Still. Stunning.
Gael Garcia Bernal, of Y Tu Mama Tambien. I love this dude. No idea why his sunglasses looked Photoshopped on. I didn’t do anything.
Actress Fan Bingbing. DAMN this is daring. I love it. I love that she took the risk, not necessarily the outfit itself. That color is beautiful on her though.
I think Anne Hathaway is going for some sort of Audrey Hepburn thing here. The necklace with that neckline is clumsy, and the hem is way too long.
DanRaaaaaad I love you, your suit fits, let’s do it in an Arby’s parking lot.
OH GOD I NEED A DRINK I FEEL LIKE I’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER. WHAT YEAR IS IT???
Hey look, it’s Naomi Watts! Love her, love the dress, not sure I love the hair.
KStew looking awkward as ever. I have nothing against her. At all. But this is a hot mess. This is so hot mess it transcends hot mess. It’s a masterclass in hot mess.
Here’s Halle Berry as Tron. The whole movie.
Okay, that’s all I got. Oh wait PS:
This is diabolical. Sorry, Salma.
Which outfits were your favorite/least favorite?