You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

(more…)

There is something wrong with Nicole Kidman, you guys.  You can tell because of this ensemble and also by what she’s doing to her face. Now, I could talk for a while about her face, but her face is neither here nor there (it is, in fact, lost in time and space*, floating through the cosmos in a place where it can never be seen again).  No, right now we are going to talk about the atrocity that she decided to put on her body for last night’s CMT Awards.  Gag me with a fucking spoon.

If you guys could analyze everything that’s wrong with this whole picture while I curl up in a ball and try to will myself to die, I would really appreciate it.

*And in meaning.  Rocky Horror, everybody.

Whoa, girl. Just whoa.

Nicole Kidman‘s gone and joined the twentieth century by opening up a YouTube account (LOLZ) and sending candid, totally unstaged, unscripted messages to her fans for supporting her and appreciating her for all of these years and whatever.

I couldn’t really decipher a lot of what she was saying, since she’s got such a breathy, little girl voice and I don’t have the best hearing as it is, but judging by her facial expressions, she did a smart and avoided the Botox injections this week. Good on you, girl. I’m glad you’re opening up and talking to your fans, now, but let’s move into the current century and at least open up a Twitter if you’re going to do this sort of shameless self-promotion.

“I wanted to be able to tell everybody because I was so excited about her. We just decided this was our thing together. It kind of just perpetuated itself … [And] it protects her and it protects everyone in the situation.”

So Kidman and husband, Keith Urban, had a child born via surrogate at the end of December, if you hadn’t already heard, and kudos to them for keeping something this big a secret, right? I guess, though, when you use a surrogate, or adopt, like Sandra Bullock, you don’t have to worry all that much about letting the cat out of the bag – it’s not as if you’re being spotted with a bump.

Also, Nicole and Keith named the new baby girl Faith Margaret, which I rather like. It’s old-fashioned, it’s sweet, and it makes me think of red-haired Southern belles baking peach pies in the kitchen. In addition?  I think the Kidman-Urbans have a deep appreciation for religion or church at the very least – their first child, Sunday? New baby, Faith? It speaks for itself maybe.

There’s no doubt that Nicole Kidman, who recently became a mom for the fourth time, is a gorgeous woman. There’s also no doubt that Nicole has touched up her face quite a bit over the years. As you flip through the gallery below, notice how her face seems to tighten up around the year 2000. Maybe homegirl got a facelift after seeing her slightly aging face in her 1999 Vogue spread?

And then there’s the occasional baggy spot on her face when everything else is tight enough to bounce a quarter off of. Usually when you see that it means that a lesser amount of Botox was injected into those droopy parts than in the rest of the face and the treatment has worn off.

Also, see that quirky dent in her upper lip in the “before” picture up top? Well, sometimes it’s there and sometimes it’s not. That probably means she’s been occasionally stuffing her lips with Restylane or another temporary filler.

There’s no shame in your plastic surgery game, Nicole, but don’t think we haven’t noticed.

But not together, like, literally, because apparently Nicole didn’t want another one of those child-things fouling up her perfect figure again.

According to a statement released by Keith and Nicole’s rep, a female child by the name of Faith was born to a surrogate mother on December 28th, 2010 at a hospital in LA, and a certain Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are named as the child’s biological parents. The couple has come forward to acknowlede that the child is theirs, but someone’s not telling us the whole story here.

Realistically speaking, there may have been medical issues present which prevented Nicole from safely carrying another child, so if that’s the case, God bless today’s science that provided Nicole and Keith the option to even consider a second child via surrogate.  In either case, congratulations to the expanding family on the birth of baby Faith. But seriously, that’s just one option. The other is the thing that I said above, because if the whole body-too-fragile-to-endure-pregnancy and ‘I-don’t-want-to-die-but-I-want-another-kid’ thing isn’t true? You can BANK that the superficial ‘childbirth is icky’ thing is VALID for DAYS.