1Jennifer Aniston loves Justin Theroux’s ‘beautifully captured eyeballls’

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have been together – and engaged – for several years now. However, they’ve been plagued by reports that they can’t stand each other, that Jen’s a disaster to live with, that they barely see each other which is the reason they’ve managed to stay together, etc. Well, stuff all of youse (I’m getting into local slang, here), because they’re IN LOOOOOOVE and Jen’s here to prove it by talking about how much she loves his “eyeballs” because they’re set well in his head or something?

From Women’s Wear Daily:

“It is amazing. He’s just so beautiful and handsome to me, and I love that his eyeballs are so beautifully captured because those eyes just knock me out every day,” the actress continued, now getting poetic about her better half. “He just gets better every year. He’s just like a lost gem in the sand, and he’s just always been there and been brilliant, and now this is just in a different light.”

I seriously don’t understand what half of this means, to be honest. A lost gem in the sand? She loves how his eyeballs are captured? Is she deliberately trying to confuse us? If so, it’s working. But uh, good that they’re so in love?

July 18, 2014 at 11:00 am by Jennifer

3Don’t tell Jennifer Aniston she looks good for her age

Jennifer Aniston is 45 years old and also really attractive for any age, let alone hers. However, she really hates when people bring up her appearance and age together, because she thinks it only happens to women (which is kinda true) and she’s sick of it.

From WWD:

Part of the reason may be that she’s comfortable in her 45-year-old skin. Aniston professed no fear of birthdays. However, she said she does get annoyed that the phrase “for your age” pops up more frequently with every passing year.

“Your age always has to be mentioned and men don’t really get that for some reason. It’s not like you see Joe Schmo, 37,” said Aniston. “Women and men today in their 40s are so much healthier than they were 30 years ago in their 40s. It was a different time. We know how to take care ourselves. We know what to put in our bodies to fuel us that’s healthy and organic and not processed, and the importance of drinking water and cutting out sugars and bad fats. Before, we just didn’t know that, and we didn’t have the technology with skin care that we have today.”

I kinda feel what she’s saying here – we do indeed know how to take better care of ourselves these days. We can fry our own tortilla chips, for God’s sake! She’s also a celebrity with endless amounts of money to spend on procedures and products to make sure she stays looking hot as hell. Also, she’s Greek, which definitely helps. Etc etc etc. It’s sorta luck of the draw in terms of how you’re going to age, but of course how you treat your body is an important part of it, and the double standard is definitely there. I still think she should be pleased she looks as good as she does. I mean, damn, girl.

March 25, 2014 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

0Jennifer Aniston fries her own tortilla chips

You know it’s a slow Monday – and that you’re a really shitty interviewer – when the biggest topic of discussion is the fact that Jennifer Aniston is obsessed with nachos to the point that she makes her own tortilla chips.

From Self:

The food I love so much that if I dropped it on the floor, I’d eat it anyway is a nacho. I fry the chips myself. Just take a tortilla, cut it into triangles, and throw ‘em in coconut oil.

LOL – good to see she’s on the coconut oil bandwagon, though. That shit is delicious/miraculous. I buy it in 54oz containers. Twinsies!

Jennifer also had some interesting thoughts on music. Basically, she “likes” rap (oh man, that visual… no, girl), hates when her friends sing along to songs on the radio but LOVES watching idiots on reality TV competitions do it:

My friends know that they’ll drive me crazy if they sing along to music! Oh my God, I hate it. I like to hear the song—don’t sing it. Please! I’d record you to sing it if I wanted to hear you sing it.

My guilty pleasure is I have to say, The Voice and America’s Got Talent. The auditions really kind of are fabulous.

The one song that gets me moving without fail is “White Lines,” that old rap song. I made a playlist of all those awesome songs from Jimmy Fallon’s “History of Rap.”

She’s a complicated woman with many layers, that Jennifer Aniston. The whole interview is a bit embarrassing for both her and the reader. She chunters on a bit about Aveeno products she uses (LOL, she’s the spokesperson) and talks about how much she loves bagels (I’m sure) and basically plays the girl next door, as she does best. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Aniston, I just feel like this one was a bit of a reach.

March 10, 2014 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer

2BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston And Courteney Cox Still Hot In Bikinis

Jennifer Aniston (far left) and Courteney Cox (far right) were spotted in Mexico wearing bikinis and I’m here to report that yes, they are still hot. According to E! it’s a “holiday tradition” for Aniston and friends (no pun intended, swear to God) to go to Mexico around Christmas time. Justin Theroux was there, as well as Jimmy Kimmel and wife Molly McNearney (pictured above, middle), and Howard Stern and wife Beth Ostrosky. Here’s some of the group joshing around, just being there for each other:

I find Howard Stern to be the weirdest part of all of this. How did he get in that group? I knew Kimmel and Aniston were friends, but I didn’t realize they were also close with Mr. Howard Stern. Another weird celeb connection was Aniston hanging out with Ed Sheeran over Thanksgiving, which I’m guessing happened because Mr. Sheeran is living in Courteney Cox’s beach house. Which is also weird.

Anyway, they’re in their 40′s and they’re crazy-hot and have way more discipline and abs than I do. I guess my lame NYE resolution is to get as fit as they are. I mean why not, I really have no excuse. If they can do it, I can do it. Right after this slice of pepperoni pizza and an evening of drinking. Bwuahaha.

December 30, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

4Jennifer Aniston’s “Awkward Phase” Was During Her Marriage to Brad Pitt

I don’t think Jennifer Aniston even had an awkward phase ever, like, at any point in her life, but she humblebragged about one in an interview with Parade, claiming that it all happened while she was married to Brad Pitt. The pair married in 2000, which was prime Aniston time, so I’m not sure what in the hell she’s talking about, but let’s go with it:

“There’s nothing to worry about – although I don’t think I had a care in the world at 25, either.

“That all started in my 30s, my awkward phase. I’m a little bit of a late bloomer! But it doesn’t matter to me because it just gets better.

“They do say youth is wasted on the young, but I feel just as youthful now – if not more – than I did when I was 25. I’m more in my body; I’m more in my mind. Life is full. Life is wonderful. We’re very, very fortunate.”

Huh. I don’t really know what any of this means, to be honest. I’m glad she feels comfortable with herself and all that, but if she’s equating “awkward phase” with “lack of self-confidence”, I think our pal Jen needs some lessons in semantics and maybe a dictionary. They’re not the same thing. Also, look at that photo above. That was taken in 2000. HOW IN THE HELL is that awkward? What am I missing?

I mean, she looks great now, too, though. It has to be said!

December 10, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

0Jennifer Aniston Celebrated Thanksgiving With… Ed Sheeran?

I really have no idea how this one came about, to be honest, but I guess Jennifer Aniston and Ed Sheeran celebrated Thanksgiving together. You’ve got to hand it to Ed, man – unassuming, “chubby” (I really never got how that label fit him…) little ginger kid who almost didn’t get a record deal and now he’s touring around the world and hanging out with the likes of Taylor Swift and Jennifer Aniston.

The other woman in the picture is apparently Jennifer’s manager. Where is Justin Theroux? Also, how does Jennifer’s hair still look so good, even when we can barely even see it? So much left unexplained…

November 30, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer