Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mariah Carey And Her Cameltoe Are Coming to American Idol

A photo of Mariah Carey

Guys, LOL, hey guys! Remember these pictures of Mariah Carey and her labia? LOL!

But anyway, you know how Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler just quit their judging jobs on American Idol? And remember how X-Factor landed Britney f-cking Spears for their new panel of judges? Well, now that I’ve jogged your memory, it’s pretty obvious to see why American Idol needs to step up their game and hire a massively famous new judge pretty soon, right?

From MTV:

Mariah Carey’s songs might officially be off-limits on “American Idol”: The diva is reportedly finalizing her contract to become a judge on the singing competition.

According to Deadline, if Carey’s deal goes through, she will earn more than $17 million for one season — eclipsing Britney Spears’ reported $15 million paycheck for “X Factor.”

After last week’s “Idol” judging shakeup, which saw Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler head for the exits after two years on the job, Carey was one of the first names rumored to be in the running. The superstar’s hubby, Nick Cannon, wasn’t sure at the time whether “Idol” had deep enough pockets. “I don’t know if they can afford Mariah Carey,” Cannon told TMZ on Sunday. “That’s a lot of money.”

Well, looks like “Idol” might have come through. This isn’t the first time Mimi has been rumored as the next “Idol” judge. In 2010, the songstress was reportedly considered for the 10th season after the show originally passed on J.Lo.

If Carey is officially onboard, one big question remains: Who will sit next to her? There’s been no word so far about whether lone remaining judge Randy Jackson will stick around for season 12, but Us Weekly reported last week that he is considering a lateral move from judge to mentor on the show.

While everyone from Nicki Minaj to Katy Perry has been proposed as Carey’s possible seatmates, one person has thrown her own name in the ring: Aretha Franklin. In an email to CNN, the 70-year-old Queen of Soul expressed some R-E-S-P-E-C-T for “Idol,” saying she’d like to come onboard for the 12th season. And according to the news outlet, she wouldn’t want to come alone, suggesting Patti LaBelle join her and “Idol” vet Jackson.

Man, between that Scientology channel and this, I’m going to have to get cable real soon. Do you remember how crazy Mariah was on QVC? She’d be an unstoppable train of fabulousness and insanity on something as big as Idol then, wouldn’t she?

Seriously, just think: Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, and Patti LaBelle. Why hasn’t this already been confirmed? Actually, why hasn’t this happened years ago?

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • this is great. i watched Glitter last night whilst trippin’ on mushroom – funniest. shit. ever! think i lost some major pounds just laughing my ass off. lovin’ this broad now, FOR REAL.

    • I’m sorry to submit the world to this but:

      THE GLITTER DRINKING GAME:

      Take one gulp, drink, shot, or whatever when:

      – Mariah Carey mumbles incoherently

      – Someone makes inappropriate comments towards Mariah Carey’s body, increase to two gulps if that person happens to work in the music industry

      – You spot a piece of ’80s clothing you actually owned.

      – Glitter magically swirls around Mariah Carey as birds would in Snow White

      – Terrence Howard looks like he is going to throw up from having to stomach the script

      – You first hear someone’s totally fake 80’s name, like “Billie”, “Sylk”, “Dice”, “Da Brat”, or “Chico” (take two)

      – Anytime you see anyone breakdancing.

      – Mariah Carey sings and flutters her hands, much like a butterfly that just wants to be free

      – Mariah Carey does the dirty deed

      – Mariah Carey sits thoughtfully at her piano

      – Dice wears leather pants

      – Everything is suddenly in slow motion

      – Mariah Carey “dances”

      – You realize that Mariah Carey has lots more money than you.

      Be forewarned: You will be plastered when you finish, but you will also likely be happy.

      Be double-forewarned: If you do NOT drink or imbibe mind-altering substances while watching …

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