Aw, man. I’m super bummed to even have to write this, because y’all know Mariah Carey was my #1 diva when I was a kid. There were lots of great singers out there – Whitney and Celine being the other legends – but NO ONE could hit the notes Mariah could. Sadly, not even she can hit her own notes anymore, it seems, as her first residency show at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace Las Vegas this week was less than stellar – at least if you go by The New York Times!
Here’s a few selections from the rather brutal review of her first show:
“You watch the crash because you want to see how it will end: near miss or carnage, relief or horror, laughter or tears. Part of the appeal is the feeling of helplessness — you are a viewer, but not an agent. Whatever happens, you’ll be affected, but you can’t chart the course. And looking away is never the right choice.”
“On Wednesday night, Ms. Carey performed for a largely difficult two hours at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace here, the first show in what’s to be a two-year residency totaling more than 50 concerts. That she’s embarking upon something like this is already a sign of defeat: The show consists of her 18 No. 1 Billboard hits, and the last of those came in 2008. (There’s a new song, too, called “Infinity” — it won’t be No. 19.)”
“When it came to the notes, though, the struggle was real. From the beginning of the night, she was tentative and inconsistent. She sang parts of several songs an octave lower than the recordings. Often she appeared to be holding back, as if to build up to a big moment, only to shy away from it. As she’s aged, her voice has gotten huskier, but sometimes the rasp felt like a glitch, not a goal.”
“On faster songs, like “Dreamlover,” “Honey” and “Fantasy,” Ms. Carey was practically tiptoeing. “Fantasy” featured Ol’ Dirty Bastard, who died in 2004, rapping via video, and he felt more alive than Ms. Carey, who was right there onstage.”
“Even Ms. Carey’s movements were kept to a minimum. Several times, she was wheeled out on stage — singing in a pink convertible, singing on a Jet Ski, singing on a round bed.
She stood the most still when she was aiming the highest: not for the run-of-the-mill big notes, but the stratospheric ones that made her untouchable 25 years ago. She has a routine. Before she sings them, she pauses for a bit, puts her hand to her eardrum, then points to the sky as the laserlike shrieks come out.”
Oh, man. That is BRUTAL. I’m so disappointed – I feel really bad for Mariah. She was amazing! What happened to her voice? Why doesn’t she just retire? She can’t possibly need more money!
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