From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:
Scientology leader David Miscavige called a secret emergency summit among the controversial church’s top celebrities to deal with the public fallout from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ divorce.
Sources told The Enquirer that among those contacted for the clandestine conference call were Hollywood hot shots John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Bijou Phillips, Leah Remini, Jenna Elfman and Juliette Lewis.
The church has been on the defensive since Katie blindsided her famous hubby with divorce papers on June 28. Numerous sources have reported that she wanted to protect their 6-year-old daughter, Suri, from falling victim to the religion’s “weird teachings.”
Media outlets have been having a field day with the coverage – the cover of one New York City newspaper featured a mock-up of Tom’s head, with wires attached to it, inside an alien spaceship!
And both Tom and the organization have been the butt of jokes on late-night TV and the internet. Even media mogul Rupert Murdoch chimed in on Twitter, calling people who practice Scientology “evil” and “creepy.”
“Scientology has never been hit this hard, this fast,” explained an insider. “The church is being made out to be a laughingstock, and Miscavige had a meltdown that his top draw, Tom Cruise, was being ridiculed across the globe.”
In an effort to do some damage control, Miscavige directed the top secret conference call from the church’s headqurters in Los Angeles.
“Every one of these celebs, from John Travolta to Kirstie Alley, loves the church and will do anything to promote it,” the source said.
The plan is to embark on a $25 million public relations blitz in which the church will “pull back the curatins” and be more open about its beliefs. As part of that initiative, the church is considering starting a Scientology cable TV channel, which will feature its biggest stars talking about the faith.
“The Scientologists are determined to help Tom,” added the source. “But they also want to protect the church’s reputation from further embarrassment.
YES. Yes, Scientology, this is a fantastic, foolproof plan. Of course you should be more open about your beliefs, and absolutely you should start your very own TV channel where Kirstie Alley and John Travolta can teach us all about thetans and Xenu and all your fascinating history, and then you can have the Tom Cruise Levitation and Mind Control Hour to bring in the ratings during prime time. There is no way at all that this plan could possibly backfire.
On a different note, it tickles me so much that the leader of Scientology “had a meltdown” over the fact that Tom Cruise isn’t being taken seriously. Is this really the first time that he’s hearing about that? Because I can’t remember a time this century that anyone took Tom Cruise seriously.
We just really need that Scientology TV. Then we’ll see. Then we’ll all see.