Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kirstie Alley

LOL of the Day: Kirstie Alley Vows Never To Shop at Abercrombie & Fitch

kirstie alley

Listen, I adore Kirstie Alley. Seriously. Have you SEEN Fat Actress? Her reality show? Do you know she owns lemurs? Like, a shit ton of them? If all that’s enough, she’s a man-stealing Scientologist who’s best friends with John Travolta in real life and who believes depression is all in the mind. Plus, she sorta reminds me of my Aunt Debbie. Xenu, she’s fantastic.

This week, she gave us all one more reason to love her when she lashed out against Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries, who is ugly as sin but had the audacity to say that the brand isn’t marketed towards ugly people. Or fat ones, for that matter. Frankly, American Eagle was all the rage in my day, so I never f-cked with Abercrombie and their shit is hideous, but Kirstie Alley is here to take a stand!

From Entertainment Tonight:

“What a [censored expletive]. He says that Abercrombie clothes are for people who are cool and look a certain way and are beautiful and are thin and blah blah blah blah blah. He goes on and on and on and on.

“That would make me never buy anything from Abercrombie, even if I was cool and thin. And I’ve got two kids in that bracket, but they will never walk in those doors because of his view of people – forget women, his view of just people.”

LOL, “even if I was cool and thin”. LOVE U, GIRL. Don’t worry, anyway – no one cool shops there, anyway. What makes this statement even better is that she seems super drunk and sweaty while saying it. Check out the clip below:

Kirstie Alley Is Against Anti-Depressants And Feels Bad For God

kirstie alley young denim

Kirstie Alley, super special Scientologist, tweeted against the use of anti-depressants. Guess she’s gotta do something now that there’s a new season of Dancing With The Stars that she’s not on.

John Travolta’s BFF tweeted,

HOW is it legal to INTICE people to down TWO mind altering drugs by using cartoon characters to depict the DRUGS? ABILIFY…Big PHARMA not marketing to youth? ABILIFY… Talking umbrella, cute little smiley pill, while lethal side effects like suicide r rattled off

Yeah, because if there’s anything “youth” are suckers for, it’s cartoon umbrellas.

She goes on:

You can hate me for my viewpoint, but on this it won’t change… some things are just not right… a ‘little bit of slavery’ is not acceptable

I’m getting off here… I’m causing way too much controversy… Ours has become a country of medicos and drugs, but we just keep gettin sicker. Poor God… He sure has his work cut out for him

“OMG, thx Kirstie, gurl u r da best!!!! BFF FOREVER LOL!!” — God.

It’s not a secret that Scientology is anti anti-depressants. Remember when Tom Cruise called Matt Lauer glib, because Tom Cruise insisted he knew the history of psychiatry better than Matt Lauer? Even though Matt Lauer wasn’t even arguing that?

Thanks to Christian Post for combining all of these vomitatious tweets.

Everyone Wanted to Have Sex With Kirstie Alley, We Get It

photo of kirstie alley pictures
Now, before we even get into this, I’m going to forewarn you—this bit is from the National Enquirer, and it’s got to be taken with a grain of salt, naturally, but it sounds pretty spot-on, which is why I’m relating it to you guys and your innate senses of discernment. From the Enquirer, how pissed Patrick Swayze’s widow, Lisa Niemi, is about Kirstie Alley‘s big, fat mouth:

Heartbroken Lisa Niemi feels so betrayed by her once-close pal that sources say she wanted to scream at Kirstie: “I hate you! Patrick never loved you! How could you do this to me?”

Kirstie dropped the bombshell just as Lisa was starting to rebuild her life. She recently began dating Florida jeweler Albert DePrisco after losing her husband of 34 years to pancreatic cancer at age 57 in 2009.

“Lisa has so many happy memories of her marriage to Patrick,” said the source. “Now, Kirstie has sullied those memories by trying to cash in on her friendship with him…”

In her new memoir… [Kirstie] writes that she and [Patrick] tried to “avoid going to that road,” but couldn’t help falling in love.

“He exuded that anything was possible,” Kirstie writes. “The emotions and dialogue escalated daily. One night, toward the end of the shoot, I got fairly drunk, dirty-danced for hours, and then succumbed. We made out with each other.”

While the two weren’t sexually intimate, Kirstie writes that Patrick “asked me one last time to divorce my husband and make a new life with him. He was very persuasive. The decision of whether to run off with him was torturous.”

Ultimately, Kirstie… said she turned Patrick down after confession her forbidden love to her father and him telling her: “You’re married. Knock if off.”

In her explosive book, Kirstie says both Swayze and Travolta begged her to run off with them and describes them as the great loves of her life…

But an insider revealed: “Kirstie says she never consummated her feelings for either of them. In fact, Swayze stopped her when she threw herself at him.

“Although she also says she was tempted to have an affair with her ‘Cheers’ co-star Woody Harrelson, she never did. She even claims a cougar relationship with her ‘Dancing with the Stars’ partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, but they were never lovers either.”

In her book, Kirstie says Woody constantly pestered her for sex, and one night while staying at her house with a girlfriend, he knocked on her door at midnight, but Kirstie says she turned him down “half wishing I wasn’t married that night and would band her brains out.”

And about her cougar relationship with Maksim, she writes that she’d “catch him staring at me in a sort of awe” and “it shocked me that I ended up loving him to the degree that I did.”

“It’s genuinely bizarre, Kirstie has written a kiss-and-tell book primarily about the famous men in her life – and yet there’s very little kissing or telling with any of them,” said the insider.

Well, considering the source is probably citing things straight out of Kirstie’s new book, I don’t really get how this could be false. Yeah, maybe the part about poor Lisa Niemi tearing her hair out, maybe that could be a little deviation from truth, but the rest? I have no doubts that Kirstie Alley was under the impression that every male costar wanted to bag her, and while some did, it probably wasn’t for the reasons that she may have thought.

Love It or Leave It: Kirstie Alley’s Smug, Man-Stealing Face

photo of kirstie alley pictures new book photos
Of course I don’t mean Kirstie Alley‘s smug, man-stealing face itself, because it’s really just secondary to what we’re actually talking about in this particular post, because what we are actually talking about is Kirstie Alley and her smug, man-stealing-revealing book, ‘The Art of Men’, which was written by … well, it was written by Kirstie Alley and talks about various affairs with men in relationships, like John Travolta and the late and great Patrick Swayze. On a side note, what a crap title, am I right? And this is coming from an aspiring novelist who once wrote an outline for a book, cheesily called ‘Reflections on the Bay’. Bad, bad, bad. I know bad when I read it, since I’ve put so much of it out myself, so yes, I feel completely justified in trashing Kirstie’s book name, alright?

But anyway, this photo is from one of Kirstie’s book events, obviously held at Barnes & Noble, one of the nation’s largest booksellers. B&N, as you can see, is helping peddle a book wherein secrets of marriages and relationships gone by are revealed, probably against the will of those involved (except for Kirstie, of course). And how cool is that? Well in short, not cool at all. In fact, it’s probably the furthest possible thing from cool, and while I used to admire Kirstie for her honesty and tenacity and all-around I’m-cool-with-you-ness, this book has definitely taken it a step too far, and from here on out, truth be told, I’m just not all that into Kirstie Alley anymore.

Take that to your local Barnes & Noble and peddle it.

Hey, Kirstie Alley’s Still Talking About the Dead Guy Who Definitely Has a Wife

photo of kirstie alley and patrick swayze pictures
Go figure. I mean, it got her a whole ton of attention last time she opened her mouth about co-star sex, so why not keep the trend going?

From ET Online:

“It was just too much of an attraction. I will say that at that time Patrick was drinking a lot, Patrick’s been very public about that.”

In Kirstie’s new book, The Art of Men, the 61-year-old actress claims that after a night of dirty dancing and partying, she finally made her move on Patrick, but was ceremoniously rejected.

“I want to make love with you. I just don’t care anymore, let’s just do it,” she remembers telling her hunky co-star in the heat of the moment.

Ever the gentleman, Patrick denied her proposition.

“No. Come on, you’re drunk,” he said. “Kirstie, you don’t really want to do it. You’re not that kind of girl.”

While the star would later speak at Patrick’s funeral in 2009, Kirstie reveals she still isn’t sure his wife of 34 years, Lisa Niemi, ever caught wind of their on-set attraction.

“I have no idea if Lisa knows anything about Patrick and I… I was probably the least of Lisa’s problems with Patrick.”

Oh, OK, so now it wasn’t just an almost-affair that happened behind poor Lisa Niemi’s back, it was also a whole slew of problems that either Lisa knew about, or didn’t know about, but in either case, probably didn’t want the whole g-ddamned world to know about.

But hey. That’s Kirstie for you, I guess. Can’t keep her mouth shut for shit.

Kirstie Alley Romanced Patrick Swayze, Too, By the Way

photo of kirstie alley and patrick swayze pictures
Girlfriend sure got around in the eighties and nineties, huh? What I want to know, though, is why she’s feeling the need to air all of this dirty laundry now—and about a man who’s not even around to defend himself?

Kirstie went and talked to Entertainment Tonight about her affair with Patrick Swayze during the filming of North and South, which was a TV miniseries that aired in and around 1985. To ET she said that despite the fact that they were both married during that time, they fell in love with one another, though they fought it hard. Kirstie said:

“Both of us were married. We did not have an affair. But again, I think what I did was worse. Because I think when you fall in love with someone when you’re married, you jeopardize your own marriage and their marriage. It’s doubly bad.”

You know what’s triply bad? That Patrick was married to Lisa Niemi, the lady he married in 1975 and stayed married to ’til he died in 2009, and that Kirstie is also friends with Niemi. Oh, wait, scratch that—she was friends with Lisa Niemi all the way up until Patrick’s funeral, at which Kirstie spoke at Lisa’s request. Kirstie claims that she doesn’t even know if Lisa had known about her friend’s relationship with her dead husband, which is just super, because now Lisa’s got to hear—through television, nonetheless—that her dear friend and her late husband had an emotional affair, which is sometimes worse than a physical affair, depending on who you ask.

Anyone else think that maybe Kirstie Alley should have just kept her big, fat mouth shut? Jeez.

Quotables: Kirstie Alley Almost Ran Off With John Travolta

photo of john travolta and kirstie alley pictures

“Believe me, it took everything that I had, inside, outside, whatever, to not run off and marry John. And be with John for the rest of my life.”

This would be Kirstie Alley, to Barbara Walters, on John Travolta during their time of filming ‘Look Who’s Talking’. She said in a later portion of the interview that John was the “love of her life,” and I want the two of them to run off together, right now, and be together for the rest of their lives, but not, because children and wives and boyfriends and gay lovers all over the place would be hurt by the selfish decision of two people to back out on their respective relationships to be with someone they once cared about over twenty years ago. But it would be sort of romantic (?) in a warped kind of way, huh?

I guess that’s why Kirstie was always so gung-ho that John wasn’t (or isn’t) homosexual—it’s either because it’s true, or because she’d just end up with the shitty end of the stick, no pun intended*.

*That pun thing? I lied. It was totally intended.