John Travolta has been getting all types of shit since fucking up Idina Menzel‘s name during Sunday night’s Oscars. However, let’s be fair here – he didn’t mess up her name, really. HE CREATED AN ENTIRELY NEW ONE. Adele Dazeem is not anything like Idina Menzel, but he went there, and Xenu bless him for it.
The flub has sprouted tons of jokes online, and a name generator, as well. How would John Travolta have pronounced your name? Mine was Joss Smoith. I LOVE IT! In fact, I think I’ve found myself a new pen name…
In any case, John just doesn’t think all this laughing at his expense is very funny anymore, and he’s had his publicist release a statement on his behalf:
“I’ve been beating myself up all day. Then I thought…what would Idina Menzel say She’d say, Let it go, let it go! Idina is incredibly talented and I am so happy Frozen took home two Oscars Sunday night!”
I love that the entire purpose of this statement was basically to prove that he does actually know what Idina’s name is and how to spell it. Also, nice pun with the whole ‘Let It Go’/Frozen thing. But I’m still not impressed. Say it five times fast, Travolta!
March 5, 2014 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
The National Enquirer is more invested in John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s marriage than John Travolta and Kelly Preston AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT. No one cares more about “Kelly’s woes” than the fine people at the NE. Here’s the latest in what they’re saying Ms. Preston allegedly said about her totally straight husband:
“While John is desperate to keep up the facade of a happy family, Kelly can’t take the lies anymore.
“She gamely played along when John dragged her and their little boy Benjamin to Australia in early April. But she totally lost it a few days later during a vacation in Hawaii.
“Kelly was talking to a friend on the phone about her issues with John when she broke the news that a divorce is probably imminent.
“But then Kelly’s friend scared the life out of her by suggesting that if John gets angry enough over her leaving him, he could try to get custody of Benjamin and their daughter Ella Bleu.
“Kelly burst into tears, collapsed into a chair and started wailing, ‘I can’t take this! He’ll destroy me if I leave him! My life is over!’ Kelly moaned about not knowing how she’d carry on if her kids were taken away.”
Damn, John. Guess she’s not…hopelessly devoted to you. (YEEEEAAAHHH!!!)
It goes on:
“Kelly’s life has revolved around John and the kids for years,” said the source. “And she’s faced one embarrassment after another over John’s alleged gay hook-ups with men. It’s absolutely humiliating for Kelly. [Note: I don't think you have to add "with men" if you're saying "gay hook-ups." You can just say
“But John’s a bully and he’s made it clear to Kelly that if she files divorce papers, he’ll unleash the full wrath of his high-powered legal team on her.
“Kelly is already suffering from insomnia. She barely sleeps four hours a night, and sometimes she’s so down that she forgets to eat.
“She’s dropped a lot of weight, and some days Kelly can’t even motivate herself to leave the house. It’s a very sad situation.”
FREE KELLY PRESTON! Can’t we distract Travolta with Oprah or something? Tell him Oprah wants to meet him in Australia to talk about a brand new movie/album/airline/whatever the hell John Travolta does now, and while he’s gone, get her the hell out of there? Yeah, it’s not going to solve the divorce settlement stuff, but I’m more worried for her about the wrath of John’s “friends.” Just ask David Miscavige’s wife. Oh, wait…you can’t. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH.
June 5, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
John Travolta and Kelly Preston may finally divorce and I say finally because I think people have been wondering how many decades more Ms. Preston was going to spend being Mr. John “I’m Totally Straight And I Never Grab Dongs“ Travolta’s human shield while letting her own career die. Or, to quote our own Jennifer, since she did it so well,
John Travolta is gayer than a rainbow feather boa around a drag queen’s neck as she rides on a float in the gay pride parade.
The National Enquirer has some goodies for us:
JOHN TRAVOLTA and his wife KELLY PRESTON are headed toward a $220 million divorce!
That’s what pals of the couple are telling The ENQUIRER, and sources say that humiliated Kelly told her hubby of 21 years that they’re through for good unless he becomes more supportive of her career.
“Kelly has had it up to here with John,” confided a source close to the couple. “She’s tired of always having to take care of their family while he goes off gallivanting around the globe, for work or pleasure. Now it’s her time.”
The couple’s latest problem began in mid-March when Kelly got an opportunity star in the pilot of a new sitcom called “Keep Calm and Karey On” in L.A.
“John completely poohed-poohed it,” SAID THE source. “He wanted her to stay put in Florida and take care of their kids.”
Kelly, 50, had put her career on hold after the couple’s 16-year-old son Jett tragically died in January 2009, and then she got pregnant with their son Benjamin, now 2. They also have daughter Ella, who is 13.
“Kelly and John had a knock-down, drag-out fight at their Florida home that ended with her stalking off and going to Los Angeles,” said the source. “And she told John that unless he changed his tune and started to carry more of the weight in the marriage, she’d see him in divorce court.”
There is a lot at stake as Travolta’s vast fortune includes expensive planes, vintage cars and pricey homes on both coasts.
And then there’s the whole gay thing:
Travolta’s lack of support for Kelly’s career is a real blow to her, say sources, since she’s stood staunchly by him as he was hit with a string of lurid gay scandals. In May 2012, two male masseurs filed sexual battery suits against the “Saturday Night Fever” star in federal court.
Although Travolta’s attorney vehemently denied the claims, several more men have come forward with similar accusations against him.
Hey John…you better shape up. ‘Cause she needs a man (she needs a man). Who can keep her satisfied. Emotionally, because she needs a lot of support and wants you to respect her career and see her as a woman with her own needs and not just the mother of your children. (I think that was the first draft of “You’re The One That I Want.”)
April 9, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
John Travolta is gayer than a rainbow feather boa around a drag queen’s neck as she rides on a float in the gay pride parade, but he still won’t come out. Instead, he gets massages and then tries to hump on the masseuses and when they file lawsuits, he denies it until he’s blue in the face. However, sometimes there are money grubbers who will try to make an easy dime from a celebrity, and turns out at least one of the masseuses was less than honest, as his lawsuit against the actor – claiming that Travolta forced him to get naked before trying to get freaky with him – has been thrown out.
From The Hollywood Reporter:
The attorneys for John Travolta and a cruise ship worker accusing the actor of assault stipulated to the dismissal of a high-profile lawsuit.
The lawsuit was filed by Fabian Zanzi, a ship attendant on the Royal Caribbean cruise ship that carried Travolta as a passenger in June 2009. Zanzi says that upon request, he gave Travolta a neck massage. Travolta allegedly disrobed, exposed himself and then “forcefully embraced” him.
On Friday, a judge denied Travolta’s attempt to throw it into arbitration. On Monday, the parties agreed to drop the case. Neither party was available to discuss what prompted the dismissal.
In the lawsuit, Travolta gave his own sworn declaration.
“While I was indeed a passenger aboard the MS Enchantment of the Seas in or about June 2009, Mr. Zanzi’s allegations in the Complaint are entirely false, including… a purported physical encounter with me and his allegations… regarding an alleged financial offer I made him. None of these events happened, and Zanzi’s allegations are pure fabrication.”
Fair play to Travolta on this one, but one liar doesn’t make the rest of them unreliable. I know Scientology probably isn’t into Adam and Steve over Adam and Eve, but get with it and just come out already, for crying out loud. Seriously, it’s okay, wade in. The water’s just fine!
February 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer
Hint: it’s this video of their brand new Christmas song, “I Think You Might Like It.”
Ok, but for real, this shit is awful. This is so bad. This is worse than anything else that has ever happened. There aren’t even words that could come close to accurately describing this mess, and you know what? I love that. I love that they went for it. I love that they’re shitting all over my fond memories of watching Grease with my sister and asking her why I kind of felt like I needed to pee but not really when John Travolta started dancing. Because I love feeling feelings, and this video makes me feel basically all of them.
Did you love it, too?
December 5, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily
“I was in Shanghai recently at a work event and the Master of Ceremonies’ best friend had recently gotten into a car wreck. He had broken his ankle and was in constant pain. I asked him permission to do some Scientology assists and he said, ‘Okay sure’. People were standing around watching as I did them. You could actually see him confronting the pain and after a while he looked up at me and said ‘I feel better’ so I said ‘Okay end of assist.’ He had gotten noticeably better and I was chomping at the bit for more.”
I don’t want to start any drama or anything, but has Tom Cruise seen this? Because I think the role of Magic Scientologist Actor is already taken. It seems like John is stepping on some toes here, and I just don’t want anything bad to happen to him. When it comes to crazy Scientologists, I probably like John’s movies the best, and I don’t want to sit through another Mission Impossible movie when John could get back with Kirstie Alley and do another Look Who’s Talking.
Okay. End of assist.