Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Stars Without Makeup: Zooey Deschanel

photo of zooey deschanel no makeup pictures photos
I know. Isn’t she just darling? Too bad she’s too busy to date. Remember this quip from Marie Claire?:

“Honestly, I’m just going through a divorce, so I don’t really think that’s something I want to get into now. I don’t have time to date. I literally – don’t-have-time.”

OK, we get it, Zooey. It’s understandable that you’re just not ready for the dating scene yet, but may we recommend a few guys that we think you’d be pretty hot with? Let’s start off with the obligatory, OK? We all know it’s coming.

1-Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Because come on. One good hipster turn deserves another, am I right or am I right (hint: I’m right).

2-John Cusack. Please don’t ask me why, because I really just do not know. I like John Cusack, and yeah, though he’s getting “up there” in age, I’d still totally bang him. Plus, he’s kind of experiencing a career revival with his new ‘Raven‘ project and anyway, he was, like, the ultimate hipster in the eighties. He was mad cool before anyone knew what mad cool is, and vintage is in, now, isn’t it?

3-Ryan Gosling. Because him dating anyone is way better than dating Eva Mendes. Gross. Plus, could you just imagine the kind of kids those two would produce? They could be the next-generation Brad and Angelina.

And here’re are few guys that you definitely do not—I repeat, “do not,” and I mean that under any circumstances—want to date:

1-James Franco. Am I one of the only ones who thinks this guy is a complete tool kit? A douchenozzle? A twat of the supreme order? Because he is. And I just couldn’t fathom this letch having his slimy little hands all over our adorable Zooey. No way, no how.

2-Chris Brown. I know that girlfriend here would never even consider it, but I just had to put it out there because he’s another huge douche. Huge douche.

3-Michael Lohan. Just because we’re being completely ridiculous, now. Plus, Zooey doesn’t really strike me as the type to want to catch a swift kick in the cooter.

Who would you see Zooey pair up with? And also, isn’t she just positively charming and refreshing without her face on? LOVE THIS GIRL.

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • some girls are just like that without makeup. they need it to make their eyes pop. especially if you have light eyelashes. i think her skin looks great though. i personally always have to wear some foundation b/c my skin is very ruddy/blotchy without it. if i go somewhere without any people always ask me if i have a sunburn. grrr.

  • I like when they look normal…now I don’t know exactly how to say this the right way but when my wife gets down on herself, I’ve tried to tell her just how beautiful she is. I tried to tell her “look at these celebrities without makeup…without their teams of stylists. You look better than them!” but I don’t think it comes off right but it cheers her up. Seeing this again, makes me feel better for her because it proves a point. It’s like Golf. If you watch it on TV, they never ever lose their ball and when I golf, I probably lose 2 or 3 balls…because I don’t have a full team of people lining the fairway keeping an eye out fo it. Am I supposed to feel bad that I lost my ball when the pro’s don’t? It’s ridiculous. So for Zooey to do something like this, no matter how small of a thing it may be, it does quite a bit for me and my wife and I’m sure many other couples out there. Good for her! She’s beautiful both inside and out.

  • WOW. Just WOW. She looks nothing like the cute girl I see when I see her on tv.. Tbh, find her pretty ugly. Her eyes have a nice colour, but wtf, i would have never recognized her. Even Katy Perry looks more like herself without makeup :o

  • She is beautiful, with or without makeup. Her eyes appear smaller than we are use to seeing in her pics because of the angle of her head and how she’s looking sideways. anyones eyes would look smaller at that angle.

    My wonderful mom, trying to teach me how to be a kind and caring person, said to me many many times over the years; “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.”

  • She looks like her mom here! Has anyone seen Twin Peaks? Her mom plays Donna’s (Lara Flynn Boyle) mother (she’s in a wheelchair). I never would have thought they looked alike until I saw this.
    Truly it’s kind of shocking. That’s why I’m afraid of wearing too much eyeliner – you look somewhat unrecognizable without it!