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James Franco

James Franco Says McDonald’s Was There For Him When No One Else Was

james franco mcdonalds

I can’t help but feel like James Franco is constantly trolling us all with his ridiculousness. Either that, or he’s legit insane and needs some clinical intervention… but likely the former. Most recently, he’s been singing the praises of McDonald’s – not because they have delicious chicken nuggets (I KNOW they’re bad for me, but they’re just so delicious!), but because they gave him a job when he was a struggling actor in the ’90s. He expressed his appreciation for the fast food chain and his hope for McDonald’s financial recovery in a new op-ed for The Washington Post.

All I know is that when I needed McDonald’s, McDonald’s was there for me. When no one else was… 

I had very little work experience. In high school, I was fired from a coffee shop for reading behind the counter and from a golf course for reading while driving the cart on the driving range. All the waiter jobs were taken by more experienced actor/waiters.

Someone asked me if I was too good to work at McDonald’s. Because I was following my acting dream despite all the pressure not to, I was definitely nottoo good to work at McDonald’s. I went to the nearest Mickey D’s and was hired the same day.

I was given the late shift drive-thru position. I wore a purple visor and purple polo shirt and took orders over a headset. I refrained from reading on the job, but soon started putting on fake accents with the customers to practice for my scenes in acting class.

Franco went on to say that he practiced doing all kinds of accents – Irish, Brooklyn, Russian, Southern and British, among others – and that people found him rather convincing. He also stopped being a vegetarian and started being gross and eating out of the fry hopper with everybody else:

I had been a vegetarian for a year before working there because I was obsessed with River Phoenix, a staunch vegetarian — he actually cried on a date with Martha Plimpton when she ordered soft-shell crabs. But as soon as I got to McDonald’s and was paying my own way, I started eating the cheeseburgers that were headed for the trash after being under the warming lamps from more than seven minutes. I would also sneak frozen apple bars and eat them in the freezer, still frozen — great with coffee.

I hate to whistleblow, but everyone ate straight from the fry hopper. You’d walk by and snag a fry and pop it in your mouth. So easy. I also put tons of salt on the fries because that’s how like them. I don’t know if the customers ever complained.

Charming, I’m sure. In conclusion, Franco wants you to know that McDonald’s isn’t so bad, after all because they hired him when he needed work. Unfortunately, he’s pulling a bit of a Paltrow here, because the problem with McDonald’s is much, much bigger than that – and while it may have helped Franco, McDonald’s is still suggesting their full-time workers get a second job just to make ends meet, plus they’re poisoning us with frankenfoods, so… I’m still gonna say no to them (but yes to chicken nugs, obvs).


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James Franco: ‘I’m straight in my life and gay in my art’

james franco

The title of this article could have been “James Franco is fucking insane“, but I think that’s pretty widely known at this point. In a new interview with something called FourTwoNine Magazine, James is riffing on his sexuality – mainly about how he’s gay in public but straight in private, but it’s all just part of the performance, man.

“I like to think that I’m gay in my art and straight in my life. Although, I’m also gay in my life up to the point of intercourse, and then you could say I’m straight. So I guess it depends on how you define gay. If it means whom you have sex with, I guess I’m straight. In the twenties and thirties, they used to define homosexuality by how you acted and not by whom you slept with. Sailors would fuck guys all the time, but as long as they behaved in masculine ways, they weren’t considered gay.”

“I guess I mean that I like my queer public persona. I like that it’s so hard to define me and that people always have to guess about me. They don’t know what the hell is up with me, and that’s great. Not that I do what I do to confuse people, but as long as they are confused, I get time to play.”

“Maybe sex with a guy would change things, but I doubt it. Like I said, I’m gay in my art. Or, I should say, queer in my art. And I’m not this way for political reasons, although sometimes it becomes political, like when I voted for same-sex marriage, etc. But what it’s really about is making queer art that destabilizes engrained ways of being, art that challenges hegemonic thinking.”

“Because it means that I can be a figure for change. I am a figure who can show the straight community that many of their definitions are outdated and boring. And I can also show the gay community that many of the things about themselves that they are giving up to join the straight community are actually valuable and beautiful.”

I mean… what the hell did I just read? Does he even know what he’s saying? Because if so, he needs to enlighten the rest of us since it makes zero sense. He’s gay but he’s not gay but he’s queer as long as he’s not REALLY queer? WHY JAMES WHY?

Anyone want to venture a translation?

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James Franco thinks Lana Del Rey isn’t meant for this world

lana del rey james franco

James Franco and Lana Del Rey have somehow, despite being on their own planets, managed to form a sort of bizarre friendship. I suppose it’s because they’re both so ~artistic~ and really understand one another. They actually spent a lot of time together over recent months in Los Angeles, and Franco gave like, an entire soliloquy on his feelings about Lana to V Magazine. Here is some of it:

She’s weird. But she never wanted to be a live performer anyway. If she could have, she would have made her music, and her videos, in her room forever.

This is a poem about Lana Del Rey.

This is an essay about Lana Del Rey.

Lana has become my friend. She is a musician who is a poet and a video artist.

She grew up on the East Coast but she is an artist of the West Coast.

When I watch her stuff, when I listen to her stuff, I am reminded of everything I love about Los Angeles. I am sucked into a long gallery of Los Angeles cult figurines, and cult people, up all night like vampires and bikers.

The only difference between Lana and me is her haunting voice. That carries everything. The voice is the central axle around which the spokes of everything else extend.

My axle, like her voice is for her, is my acting. Out of it, I do everything else.

I don’t like vampires and bikers in my life, but I like them in my art.

Lana lives in her art, and when she comes down to earth for interviews, it gets messy, because she isn’t made for this earth. She is made to live in the world she creates. She is one who has been so disappointed by life, she had to create her own world. Just let her live in it.

I am a performer and she is a performer.

The thing about singers, especially the ones who write their own lyrics, is that everyone reads the person into the songs. An actor is sometimes aligned with this roles, but a singer is about her lyrics as if they were direct statements of her true thoughts and feelings. Sometimes Lana doesn’t know what to say in interviews, so she plays into the idea that her songs are her, and not her creations.

Lana spends a lot of time alone because everyone wants in.

She has this idea for a film. I want to do it because it’s a little like Sunset Boulevard. A woman is alone in a big house in L.A. She doesn’t want to go out. She starts to go crazy, and becomes paranoid because she feels like people are watching her. Even in her own house. It’s like an awesome B-movie that lives in Lana’s head. It’s about her, and it’s not about her. Just like her music.

I wanted to interview Lana for a book and she said, “Just write around me, it’s better if it’s not my own words. It’s almost better if you don’t get me exactly, but try.”

I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m vaguely uncomfortable. Frankly, there’s nothing artsy fartsy about either of them – it’s all contrived and a bit over-the-top. Lana Del Rey isn’t some moody misanthrope, she’s an upper class white girl who changed her pop image to be this indie darling when she realised that was more lucrative. James Franco is just a hot mess.

Anyway, do you guys think they dated/are dating still? Do you think they’ll ever do an album/art show together?

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lana del rey james franco

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President Obama called James Franco “James Flacco”

President Obama Holds News Conference Before Hawaii Vacation

Everyone is talking about Sony’s decision to bow to the demands of the Guardians of Peace hackers by not only canceling the release of the Seth Rogen and James Franco comedy The Interview, but to delete every sign of the movie’s existence online, deleting its official website, trailer, etc.

We all have our opinions on the situation, even President Barack Obama. He thinks the whole thing is a bit of a mess. I mean, who gets upset over a movie starring Seth Rogen and James Flacco? Yeah, you heard me right – Joe Flacco… the Baltimore Ravens quarterback? Yikes. That’s right, Obama confused these two men when discussing the North Korea fiasco:

james franco james flacco

I mean, we all make mistakes, right? At least John Travolta probably feels a little less alone these days…


James Franco doesn’t smoke pot, apparently

james franco seth rogen

If James Franco isn’t the highest motherfucker alive 95% of the time (his BFF Seth Rogen excluded), then the sky isn’t blue and the grass isn’t green. What else could explain half the shit he does? His Smiths-inspired album?  A Lindsay Lohan-inspired short story? I mean, the list goes on and on.

But yeah, apparently James Franco doesn’t smoke weed – or so he says. In an interview with Seth on Howard Stern‘s Sirius XM radio show yesterday, James swears he never smokes, at all, and hasn’t in a long, long time because “there’s just no need”. Why, because his brain functions like a terminally stoned person’s anyway?

James also said that if he were to smoke, he likely “couldn’t function” and instead, he just lets Seth get him high by proxy, which… whatever. How much BS is this story, do we think?

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, here ya go:

P.S. Franco’s performance as the crazy stoner in Pineapple Express was also apparently just acting, but if that’s the case, this dude deserves an Oscar, like, 8 years ago.

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James Franco is releasing an album inspired by The Smiths

this charming man

James Franco truly is a modern renaissance man, a jack of all trades. Is there nothing he can’t do? In addition to his acting work, writing, and visual art, he’s now a singer-songwriter and he’s releasing an album inspired by The Smiths (and an accompanying film, as well). Joy!

From Pitchfork:

James Franco has a band with Tim O’Keefe, his former art school classmate. They’re called Daddy, and they’ve just announced Let Me Get What I Want, an album/film inspired by the Smiths.

It is not, however, a straight-up cover of the Smiths classic. In Franco’s newest book of poetry, Directing Herbert White: Poems, there are two sections titled “Poems Inspired by Smiths’ Songs”. (Which is exactly what you think it is.) Franco and O’Keefe decided to write songs around those poems, using Franco’s words as the lyrics. So: “This Charming Man” is a song based on a poem based on a song, as are all of the songs on Let Me Get What I Want. Make sense?

Most amazingly, they got former Smiths bassist Andy Rourke to play on every song.

The album will be out in 2015, and every song will be accompanied by a video that, when watched in sequence, adds up to a single story. Each song is also accompanied by a painting by Franco.

Huh. I feel like James Franco has too much time on his hands and I don’t really know what’s up with him.

Anyway, here’s the video for ‘This Charming Man’:

James Franco tackled a dude after a Lana Del Rey concert held in a cemetery

james franco

Lana Del Rey did a concert at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery last Friday night, for some reason (of course she did), and everyone was having a grand old time, listening to faux-morbid music in a graveyard. That is, until James Franco tackled a photographer who, of course, wants to sue him now.

From TMZ:

James Franco took down a photog while leaving the Lana Del Rey concert Friday night in Hollywood … this according to the paparazzo — who now wants justice.

Franco attended the LDR show at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and based on the pics it looks like James may have just been joking around when it happened.

The photog obviously wasn’t playing around though … he went into an LAPD office Saturday morning to file a report — claiming he’s got broken equipment and a minor back injury.

We’re told police will pass the case onto detectives this week.

James is insane, so he probably was playing around. But hello, you’re famous. Broke photographers will exploit your ass for any amount of cash. I can’t imagine there was any real injury in any way there, but that won’t keep this guy from taking it to court anyway to try for some easy money.

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