Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Like Father, Like Daughter: Papa Lohan Likes Crotch Shots, Too

[Ed. Note:
So, I’m Sarah and I’m filling in for Molls for the remainder of the day.  I’m not as cute and don’t smell as good — kidding — but I think I can clumsily take the reins well enough to satisfy your gossip-ogling pleasures.  She’ll return bright and early in the morning, but until then, you’re just going to have to tolerate me hogging the blogosphere of EB Media.  Enjoy!]

Michael Lohan has come forward with some serious allegations against his ex, Erin Muller.  You know the one;  she’s the lady that plugged him with a shoe last month.  Yeah, that Mike Lohan ex.

Muller has come forward to refute his claims of abuse and to add her own special sauce to the mix. Muller claims that on several occasions, Lohan punched her in the face, slapped her, threw blunt objects at her and … aimed a swift kick to her crotch.

God.  Doesn’t this douchebag know that a kick to the cooter just doesn’t hurt?  What’s this guy trying to prove, anyway?  What, did he think she had balls or something?

This guy’s such a twat.  Really.  He’s the guy that doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.  Yep, he’s That Guy.  Even better, he’s the guy who doesn’t know the difference between himself and a twat.  I always said this guy’d be kicking himself down the road — I just didn’t expect it to be so damned literal.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I don’t know how often you have/have not been kicked in the junk, but it hurts whether you have ladyparts or not, yo.

  • I don’t know how you would go about doing this, but, the red squiggle lines that indicate a word that is spelled “wrong”, must go. They are driving me crazy.

    Also, if a woman is kicked in the nether regions, it hurts, especially when it hits the pubic bone. Maybe it won’t drop a woman like it does a man, but it still feels a bit (read: much, much) worse than a tickle.

  • No worse than a well aimed shin-shot or kick to anywhere else though. Unless it manages to land right on the button and in that case, kudos to that jackass for even being able to locate a clitoris.

    • Just because you can’t read or understand big girl words doesn’t mean it makes someone a poor writer. Such a dumb girl.

      • I can understand everything just fine thank you, I just don’t find this particular writer entertaining at all. I think she’s trying too hard.

        she aint funny!!!!

  • Umm…I don’t know what you’re talking about but a swift punt to the cunt hurts like a bitch…balls or not that crap is blindingly painful.