“I think it’s really kind of Rihanna [to forgive Brown]. She’s come out and publicly forgiven him, really. I think it’s about time we all [forgave Brown], if I’m completely honest, if you want my opinion. I think it’s time we all moved on. That guy is talented as hell.”

“Talented as hell.” Bitch, please. This is why we’re supposed to forget that he tried to make mincemeat out of Rihanna‘s face? Because he’s “talented as hell”? And before y’all go off on me, saying, “Sarah, my God, yes, it’s high time we up and forgave Chris Brown for being a blackout-violent douchebag who continually perpetuates the fact that he’s a blackout-violent douchebag,” read this, OK? Check this little factoid out from Page Six:

Chris Brown’s famous temper flared up again before the Billboard Music Awards when he angrily confronted a stranger over a group of girls in a top Vegas club. According to witnesses, Brown spent more than two hours Saturday night at Haze at Aria charming a group of young women and buying multiple bottles of Champagne.

But one witness said, “Brown got visibly upset when the girls moved on to the next table. Brown approached the guys in the group [at the next table] and started getting visibly agitated. Brown stood up, and looked like he was about to start a fight when club security stopped him.”

While Brown’s rep insisted the account was “not true,” our witness continued: “He got in the guy’s face and was cursing at him, and saying, ‘Are these girls with you or with me?’ The guy was stunned by it. Things were close to getting extremely ugly. Then Chris’ security and club security escorted him out.”

A Haze rep confirmed there was an incident involving Brown but declined to go into detail. The club rep said, “Haze has a zero tolerance policy for violence.”.

And it doesn’t stop there! I’m not going to go ahead and blame Chris for the pitiful fools that a lot of his fans happen to be, but birds of a feather and all that … But supermodel Chrissy Teigen took it to Twitter and alluded to the fact that Chris Brown had been lipsyncing on Sunday night’s Billboard Awards show, and his dedicated followers went apeshit.

From TMZ:

Teigen has been under fire ever since she tweeted about Brown’s performance Sunday night … “Why sing when you can dance?”

Team Breezy went insane … hammering Chrissy with horrible messages that read:

– “all you do is talk s**t, you need to be raped and murdered.”
– “killyoself bitch ur nothing but tall thatswhy you model. your nothing.”
– “ditzy dumb ass tramp your mother should’ve aborted you.”
– “i hope you are the next ‘celebrity’ to die”
– “you have the brain capacity of a turtle, just die.”

Chrissy posted a statement about the situation … saying, “Reallllly makes me sad that 99% of the most disturbing comments come from young girls. I’ll end it there but it make me sad.”

She added, “I have some screen caps. And I will do everything I can to make sure people know, internet or not, you CAN’T say this s**t.”

So, to sum it all up, the only people bigger dickbags than Chris Brown are probably the die-hard fans who’re rabidly out for blood. Get the f-ck over yourselves already, damn.

On May 10th, 2012, we’re learning that Rihanna and Chris Brown have ended their friendship (or whatever). I mention the date, of course, because it was over three years ago when Chris Brown almost beat Rihanna to death. But no, now he’s crossed the line. Now he’s gone too far. Ugh.

So what happened? A couple of things. The first is that apparently Chris got a tattoo of his lady Karrueche’s face on his arm. And you know how Rihanna feels about Karrueche:

Rihanna‘s friends are reportedly very worried that her partying has gotten “out of control.” According toStar, Rihanna reportedly freaked out when Chris Brown got a tattoo of his girlfriend Karrueche Tran‘s face on his arm — and you’ll never believe what that caused her to do!

“When Chris got the tattoo,” the source says. “Rihanna freaked out. She’s been obsessed with the thought that he’s going to marry Karrueche and she’ll never be able to get back with him. She’s heartbroken and in a bad place.”

Isn’t that just so sad? A source goes on to say that Rihanna gets tired of just sitting in her hotel room so she goes out and parties late and drinks by herself.

“When people tell her she’s a role model, she goes crazy,” the source says. “She doesn’t want to hear it. If anything, she rebels and goes out and does something even more shocking than the time before.”

Yeah, I could maybe see that one, but really I’m going to hold off on really buying that until I see that tattoo, which I’m sure is just beautiful. But this next story, this is what really sealed the deal. This is where Rihanna unfollowed Chris Brown on Twitter, which, as you know, is the absolute clearest sign that a relationship is over. Here’s what happened:

When Brown released a freestyle version of Kanye West’s “Way Too Cold” (formerly “Theraflu”) last night, he could be heard rapping, “Don’t f-ck with my old bitch/It’s like a bad fur/Every industry n-gga done had her/Shook the tree like a pumpkin just to smash her/Bitch is breaking codes, but I’m the password.”

Speculation quickly began to run rampant that Brown was referring to Rihanna, who may very well have thought the same thing seeing how she immediately unfollowed him.

Soon after, Brown himself stopped following Rihanna, as well as tweeting out the following regarding the rumors: “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then it’s something you feel guilty about.”

I don’t blame her at all for being upset over that song, but then again I wouldn’t have blamed her if she never talked to him again after that whole assault thing. To each her own, I suppose, but let’s hope it sticks this time, all right?

Do you ever wonder if Chris Brown actually tries to be an asshole? Like maybe in reality he’s this calm, collected dude, and one day he figured that if he set out to be one of the most ridiculously awful celebrities out there, he’d stand out. He’d get a lot of attention and a lot of press, and he’d get more famous than he would have if he was just another semi-talented singer. Maybe it’s all an act.

But nah, I don’t think it is. I think Chris just really is that much of a dick, and this latest news just goes to show how true that is.

See, a few days ago, Chris’ mom tweeted “CHRIS BROWN PUPPIES FOR SALE,” and linked to this site where you can purchase a little pit bull puppy for a mere $1,000 each. But be careful, because even though “dogs can be delivered depending on buyers’ location,” the price of shipping is “not included in the sale price.” Also be careful because this is f-cking ridiculous and stupid and sad.

Listen, there might be some reasons why you’d want to buy a dog. Maybe you need a dog to perform a certain service or a job or something, or maybe … no, I don’t know why you’d want to buy a dog when there are so, so many up for adoption. I also don’t know why you’d want to buy a pit bull, much less a pit bull from Chris Brown. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore these dogs, and I made good friends with one myself last summer, but pit bulls often require a whole lot of training in order to be good with children or other animals, and somehow I don’t think Chris Brown has done all that much work with these precious puppies. Oh, and not to mention that if you absolutely have to breed dogs (you don’t), you need to have a whole lot of knowledge about the dogs you’re breeding: their history, their temperament, their parents. Again, somehow I don’t think Chris Brown has done all that.

Oh, sorry, you weren’t looking for a reason to like Chris Brown, were you? You’re not going to get mad at me because it’s been like four whole days since he started trying to sell puppies for a thousand dollars and I need to let it go, are you? Let me guess: it’s not like I’m perfect or like I’ve never made mistakes, is it? I need to let him live his life, even though by breeding and selling puppies, he made sure that a few dogs in shelters won’t get to live theirs.

What a dick.

The caption of this picture, which was posted on Chris Brown’s Twitter?: “Trayvon Martin!”

So, OK, Chris. You’re, what, going to give all of the money that you’re making off of the stupid-ass, overpriced sweatshirts that you’re selling to Trayvon’s family? You’re maybe going to set up some kind of trust fund foundation that helps send underprivileged African-American males to college? Donating all proceeds to a school in Florida? Spending your money to make sure all volunteer neighborhood watchpeople aren’t violent, racist bigots?

The correct answer would be “none of the above.” No, Chris Brown is just using the current hoodie theme that’s been in place for young Trayvon Martin over the past few weeks as a potential marketing ploy to sell his crap hoodies that are crap. May as well have captioned the photo “Get your hooded sweatshirts here, Trayvon Martin supporters!”

Well played, Chris Brown.

Asshole.

Ugh.

From Radar Online:

The Caribbean Queen shed some light on the situation in an interview with On Air with Ryan Seacrest Thursday, explaining the rationale behind their puzzling pair of performances on each other’s new tracks, her “Birthday Cake” and “Turn Up the Music,” three years after he brutally pummeled her following a pre-Grammy party in Hancock Park, a suburb of Los Angeles.

“I already spoke to him about doing ‘Birthday Cake’ because that’s the only person I could see doing it,” Rihanna, the best-selling digital artist of all-time, told Seacrest.

She added that “despite everything else,” Brown’s the top selling R&B star in the world and a no-brainer to collaborate with on a professional level. (On the controversial dance hit, he sings to Rihanna, “Girl I wanna f*** you right now. Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body.”)

Brown, in turn, asked her to appear on the remix to his song, “Turn Up the Music” — “One for my fans, one for his fans,” she explained.

Subtly referring to the beating she endured at Brown’s hands — which he’s still on probation for — Rihanna said “there shouldn’t be a divide between my fans and his fans.

“It’s music and it’s innocent.”

So there shouldn’t be a divide between Rihanna‘s fans and Chris‘s fans. I’m not quite sure I get it. First, I didn’t realize there were actual Chris fans willing to admit they were Chris fans out there (it’s like, come on. Even if you’re a fan of his music, how can you even be SUCH a fan that you’re willing to publicly admit it? Everyone I know that respects Chris Brown as an artist – and only an artists – is way embarrassed to even admit that shit. That’s the kind of stuff they keep to themselves), and second, why is Rihanna even touching this topic with a ten-foot pole? Is she preparing the world for the oh-so-shocking revelation that the two are hooking up again? Is that what this is? Because even though people are probably shockingly disappointed, I don’t think they’re shockingly shocked. Excuse me while I go soak my eyes in borax.

Did you hear Chris Brown‘s new *song, and not the one where he talks about f-cking Rihanna because it’s been so long and it still tastes the same or whatever as it used to? It’s called ‘How I Feel’, and before you go on a paragraph-long tirade about how you don’t care ‘how’ Chris ‘feels’, let me tell you, brothers and sisters: I am with you. I don’t give one fainting rat’s ass how Chris Brown feels, and please – let any inkling that might have made you think otherwise quickly drop off the radar because this is me setting you straight.

But this song! This song. I had to bring it to your attention, not only because it’s completely stupid, but because in typical, arrogant Chris Brown fashion, it makes me f-cking blood boil. Take the lyrics for example:

… Nineteen, a n-gga went through a tragedy … Three years, a n-gga just found a better me. Yeah, you might find another lover, but you always started with Breezy like the letter B … I’m gonna keep on living my life from day to day, learn from my mistakes … Ain’t never gonna do a 60 minute interview, ’cause all you want to do is twist my words up.

Ugh. Ugh. The balls. The sheer audacity. I’m glad he’s, you know, tactful enough to call it a ‘tragedy’ and not something douchy and smarmy like ‘misfortune’ or ‘bad luck’ or whatever like he has in the past, because yeah, what a tragedy. A tragedy so bad that people are eating their own words for dinner, because the second part of the lyric is right – “you might find another lover, but you always started with Breezy like the letter B.” OBVIOUSLY the ‘tragedy’ that’s being talked about is the Rihanna ordeal, and after her public displays of Brown-love over the past year has only encouraged his arrogance that yeah, he might have f-cked up, but bitches still be wantin’. I’d bang my head off the desk here if there weren’t already a good-sized dent in my forehead already because of the history.

The only part I can get behind is the ‘never do a 60 minute interview’ and the words being all twisted up, because he’s right. The less he talks about it, the less others (you know, bloggers like myself) will.

Oh, wait. No. That last part’s wrong. I don’t care how much or how little he talks about it. He’s pathetic and I’m always going to remember him as a woman-beater, and not as some brilliant-ass artist that has an emotional problem that he can’t keep in check.

*Also? The music on the track absolutely sucks. Ever play Donkey Kong Country for Super Nintendo? Because the music was totally ripped from the water boards.