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Willow Smith

I’m Kind of Obsessed with Willow Smith

willow smith

Willow Smith was all of 9 years old when ‘Whip My Hair’ came out, but it was already pretty obvious then that she was going to do big things. She’s also obviously the best member of the Smith family – and yes, I’m including her parents. How in the hell a kid – now 12 years old, thanks – has such a good head on her shoulders and such a strong sense of her own style is seriously kind of mindblowing to me, and I love her. Sure, she’s probably a bit too grown but you can mark my words that she’s going to do big things in music in the next 5-10 years. And yes, I’m totally serious.

Anyhow, I mention all of this because Willow – who dropped out of the starring role in the Annie remake to “be a normal 12-year-old” – stopped by Queen Latifiah’s new talk show (as in, this was her very first show) to perform her latest single, ‘Summer Fling’ and I nearly died because it’s so perfect. I’m not sure about the British accent – not sure as in why; her execution wasn’t half bad – but I am on board for all of this. Those vocals? YES. The arrangement? YUP. The song itself being sung by a kid? Eh, I could take or leave that, but I’m here for the rest.

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Best And Worst And WTF Of 2013 MTV VMA Fashion

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Lady Gaga is my goddamn queen right now. Look at her, showing up all normal (for her) and stuff! This is exactly what she needed to wear to the 2013 MTV VMA’s. I’m getting Angelina Jolie 2000 Oscars flashbacks. And a little Vampira:

vampira plan 9 outer space

She looks so pretty. So sane. Please let me like you again, Gaga. Please. (Note: this was written before her performance. Who knows how I’ll feel after I see that.)

See the best, worst, and WTF of the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards fashion below! And there were so many WTFs. I couldn’t choose just one worst or WTF. I don’t think you can blame me either.

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Will Smith Totally Didn’t Push His Kids Into Showbiz

will smith

Will Smith and his family are LOADED, make no mistake. Not only are he and Jada making bank, but now both kids (sorry – “mini adults”) are “in showbiz”. I put that in quotes because they’re not really doing any particular thing – at least not Jaden; Willow‘s been whipping her hair back and forth for a few years now. One might think that it was Will and Jada’s influence that made the kids want to follow in their parents’ footsteps, but he wants you to know that’s not the case – he never pressured them into the industry!

From Vulture:

“It may seem like we have pushed our kids into the business, but that is absolutely insane. I would never, ever, push somebody to have their face on a poster that’s going be everywhere in the world. He is making a choice from the informed. It’s less scary to me than if he wanted to be a dentist in that I couldn’t help with what he’d chosen. I have relationships with some of the biggest filmmakers and actors and producers on Earth. So I can be a huge help.

Willow chose singing and then un-chose it. She said, “Daddy, I want to go to school with my friends during the week, and I want to hang out with them on the weekends.” At the peak of “Whip My Hair,” she’s like, “Daddy, I’m done.” I was like, “Wow, wow, wow. No, baby, I got Annie [the upcoming movie remake, co-produced by Jay-Z], you know. It’ll be New York, you’ll be with Beyoncé. You can bring your friends.” And she said, “Daddy, I got a better idea. How about I just be 12?” At the end of the day, it has to be their choice.”

Well, fair enough, though I bet he wasn’t all that happy that Willow chose to back out. Good for her, though – she actually seems like a pretty cool kid and it takes a pretty mature one to be like, “Nah, not trying to be famous right now, I’m good.” As for Jaden, he’s just insufferable.

Will Smith Treats His Kids Like They’re Already Adults

will smith family

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have a way kewl and modern approach to parenting Willow & Jaden: treat them like adults! They may end up with a completely warped view of reality and might even want to emancipate themselves prior to reaching legal age, but, by golly, won’t you be smiled upon in the parenting community!

From Haute Living (what is this? I can’t):

We respect our children the way we would respect any other person. Things like cleaning up their room. You would never tell a full-grown adult to clean their room, so we don’t tell our kids to clean their rooms. Actually, we tell our kids ‘you don’t have a room, that’s our room and we are letting you borrow it.’ So the same way you would say to an adult if you let them use car, you say, ‘Yo man, clean my car! Don’t drive around all filthy like that!’ And it’s perfectly reasonable for you to want an adult to clean your car, so we feel it’s perfectly reasonable to ask our kids to clean the rooms that we are letting them use.

Alright, that I can get down with. However, there are going to be times your 14-year-old gives you shit because they don’t feel like doing what you’ve asked them to do and they don’t give you the same respect you give them, and that’s when you have to lay down the law. But Will’s laying it down in a different way: by totally embarrassing Jaden over those emancipation rumours.

Yeah, that was a joke! I made a joke. He is definitely not going anywhere; he is so scared of being out on his own. Willow is probably going to be emancipated before Jaden! I think I was in Tokyo where I made a joke that if he has a day where his movie is bigger than one of mine then there’s no reason for him to live in my house. His 15th birthday is coming up so he can probably be emancipated.

I don’t really get the joke, but whatevs. This whole family is meant to come off as so likeable and together, but there’s something just bizarre of them. You know, besides their massively inflated egos and the weird marriage shit.

Appropriate or Not: Will and Jada Let Willow Smith Get Her Tongue Pierced

photo of willow smith tongue piercing pictures
… And guys, if you don’t remember, I’m here to remind you—Willow Smith is eleven years old. Do you know what kind of hell and damnation I’d be under if I’d even *asked* my parents at the age of eleven to get my tongue pierced? What the hell does an eleven-year-old want with a tongue piercing anyway? I’m going to just use me as an example here for a second. Granted, my parents weren’t world-famous celebrities, and I wasn’t a budding young wannabe-celebrity myself back in 1994 when I was eleven years old, but you know what I was doing at eleven? I was crying over what Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan. I was watching OJ Simpson flee southern California in his white Bronco, wondering why he’d do such an awful, awful thing like kill his lovely wife. I was watching movies like ‘The Lion King’, ‘Forrest Gump’, and ‘The Santa Clause’, and I was playing outside like an eleven-year-old kid should, getting dirty and scraped and riding my bike and not worrying about things like my hair, my clothes, or MAKEUP.

But hey. I guess it’s OK when little kids that definitely don’t think they’re little kids feel the need to have someone stick a needle through a muscle in their head that helps you eat and talk. Plus, she’s got braces. I mean, come on. That’s a dental accident just waiting to happen right there, guys. It’s not like Willow’s this precarious young fourteen- or fifteen-year-old who’s probably gone out and done something naughty behind her parents’ backs and they’re not going to do much because it’s like, “Oh hey, our girl’s a few quick years away from eighteen anyhow,” because she’s E. LEV. EN. ELEVEN.

So! Appropriate or, you know, not?

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Image courtesy of MediaTakeOut

No, Willow Smith! Just, No

Photo: Willow Smith poses with a stripper pole

Willow Smith, you are talented. Your music pairs whimsy with sass. Even if you did not have two extremely famous, wealthy parents, I would still like you. That is why I am very disappointed in you right now.

You do not need to go the way of the Cyruses.

Am I making myself clear, young lady? You do not need to work a stripper pole—or so much as strike a pose anywhere near one—to further your career, little miss. Not even if you think it’s sort of funny. Maybe you can crack these jokes when you are 12. But you are still 11. Eleven.

And according to gossip blog NecoleBitchie (heh, clever), this cell phone snap appeared on your own personal Instagram, for every pre-teen girl to see. Willow! No!

OK: I’m sure you thought you were being cute and precocious at the time. But just, no. Oh, kid. No. Because, while the photo has since disappeared from your Instagram account—which was the right decision—I have it now. Me. I do. Because the Internet is very fast to jump on this sort of thing. I am, after all, a celebrity gossip blogger, and it is my job to look for little trip-ups like this.

And I am not going to make a joke at your expense, because you’re 11 and I like you, but I am a childless, grown woman who nonetheless feels entitled to put you through the wringer. Consider this your first warning, young lady.

This sort of behavior won’t be “cute” when you’re 17 and, frankly, if I were your mother, we would have a long talk about What Goes Up Onto the Internet and Why an 11-Year-Old Girl on a Stripper Pole is a Bad Idea. Then, if you were properly and duly repentant, I might think about giving your cell phone back to you.

Jada Pinkett Smith Basically Admits That’s She’s a Bad Mother

Ever since Willow Smith hit the scene, people have been asking, “How does a 10-year old girl have all that confidence and flavor?”

Well, it turns out that it has something to do with the fact that her parents are both millionaires and push-overs. Jada, her mom, recently did an interview in which she confessed that Willow doesn’t just decide what she likes when it comes to her own clothes, she decides what her mother wears, too.

The actress, when asked about her style, told PopDash.com, “Willow goes in my closet and tells me the things to get rid of that are old. So I pretty much listen to that. She says, ‘You should let me have this and I can cut it up,’ and I just go, ‘OK! Go ahead, take it, do what you want.’ So she pretty much takes my stuff and sees what it can do for her. So she doesn’t do anything for me besides just taking it.”

Uhhh, maybe I was raised in a super strict household, but I’m pretty sure that any time I so much as LOOKED at my mother’s closet I was told to get real and go clean my bedroom. That’s one of the shitty parts of being a kid: Not understanding why you can’t have everything you want and dealing with it anyway. Then again, being the family’s breadwinner these days, it’s kind of unclear whether or not Willow can even be classified as a child.

Is it just me? Was anyone else out there allowed to rummage through their mom’s closet, taking the good stuff and deciding what was too embarrassing to wear? And if you were allowed to do that, are you a functioning adult?