Today's Evil Beet Gossip

No, Willow Smith! Just, No

Photo: Willow Smith poses with a stripper pole

Willow Smith, you are talented. Your music pairs whimsy with sass. Even if you did not have two extremely famous, wealthy parents, I would still like you. That is why I am very disappointed in you right now.

You do not need to go the way of the Cyruses.

Am I making myself clear, young lady? You do not need to work a stripper pole—or so much as strike a pose anywhere near one—to further your career, little miss. Not even if you think it’s sort of funny. Maybe you can crack these jokes when you are 12. But you are still 11. Eleven.

And according to gossip blog NecoleBitchie (heh, clever), this cell phone snap appeared on your own personal Instagram, for every pre-teen girl to see. Willow! No!

OK: I’m sure you thought you were being cute and precocious at the time. But just, no. Oh, kid. No. Because, while the photo has since disappeared from your Instagram account—which was the right decision—I have it now. Me. I do. Because the Internet is very fast to jump on this sort of thing. I am, after all, a celebrity gossip blogger, and it is my job to look for little trip-ups like this.

And I am not going to make a joke at your expense, because you’re 11 and I like you, but I am a childless, grown woman who nonetheless feels entitled to put you through the wringer. Consider this your first warning, young lady.

This sort of behavior won’t be “cute” when you’re 17 and, frankly, if I were your mother, we would have a long talk about What Goes Up Onto the Internet and Why an 11-Year-Old Girl on a Stripper Pole is a Bad Idea. Then, if you were properly and duly repentant, I might think about giving your cell phone back to you.

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