Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse have actually called it quits

bradley cooper suki waterhouse

Welp, it seems that those dreams of a glamourous wedding have gone right out the window for Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse, as the pair have apparently ended their two year relationship. Why? Who can guess? But you can all unclench your fists and stop shouting at the sky, because BCoop is apparently back on the market.

Here’s what little we know (from E! Online):

It’s over between Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse.

I can exclusively reveal that the couple of about two years have called it quits.

Whether or not it’s permanent is anyone’s guess right now, but Waterhouse, 23, did attend the Oscars just last month with Cooper, 40, who was nominated for his work in American Sniper. (His mom was also with them.)

I mean, I’m not at all surprised, and frankly it was never going to work out with them long term, but homegirl seemed super into the idea of getting him to settle down. Clearly she doesn’t realize that his mom is the only woman Bradley truly has room for in his life.

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Zayn Malik quits One Direction tour due to ‘stress’

one direction tour

BIG NEWS, folks (and yes, I’m kind of being sarcastic): Zayn Malik has dropped out of the One Direction tour due to “stress”. Of course, “stress” in this situation translates to “I got caught cheating on my fiancée and I can’t handle being called out as the fuckboy I am”. Am I getting ahead of myself? Okay, let me back up.

One Direction was doing a show in Thailand last weekend, and while there, Zayn got cozy with a woman who is NOT Perrie Edwards, who published this photo on her public Instagram page (which is now private, since she was getting threatened by the 1D fanbase):

zayn malik cheating

After fans started going mental online, Zayn got all defensive, claiming that it’s not what it looks like and the girl is just a fan – which I’m sure she is… a fan of that dick! Here’s what he wrote on Twitter:

zayn malik twitter

Nevermind that there were a lot of pap pics of them leaving the club together HOLDING HANDS. Sorry, but you do not put your arm around a fan like he is in the photo above, or press your face against hers, or LEAVE A CLUB HOLDING HER HAND as you lead her back to whatever sleazy place you cheat on your girlfriend. Triflin’.

Anyhoo, he won’t have to deal with too much backlash, because he immediately had a “doctor” sign him off on “stress”:

zayn malik

This whole thing is a hot ass mess. I’m sure he was off his heads on drugs (we’ve all heard THOSE rumours) when he cheated on her, but “stress”? How are PR people really using this in 2015? SMH…

Justin Bieber and Madonna play ‘Never Have I Ever’ with Ellen

justin bieber madonna ellen

Justin Bieber just can’t stay away from Ellen lately, so of course he had to pop in when Ellen was interviewing Madonna this week to play a round of ‘Never Have I Ever’. You won’t glean anything new and/or shocking from this ~totally kewl game~, but here are a few highlights, if it’s something that interests you:

  • Madonna has had sex with more than one person on the same day
  • Justin claims he’s never been kicked out of a bar
  • Madonna flirts terribly with Justin because she likes younger men

I mean, I was really struggling to even come up with 3 good bullet points there.

Well, that was… fun?

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Gwyenth Paltrow: ‘I’m incredibly close to the common woman’

gwyneth paltrow CNN

Gwyenth Paltrow is about as detached from reality as you would expect a bajillionaire who thinks death is preferable to feeding her kids Cup-a-Soup and calls a $450 hand towel a “must have” for spring. In no way does she understand anything about how the 99% live in any way – but you can’t tell her that. No, Gwyneth thinks she’s “incredibly close to the “common woman”. The fact that she can use the phrase “common woman” tells you how untrue that actually is.

Hitting up CNNMoney on Monday, Gwyneth had the following to say about Goop and her approach to giving lifestyle advice:

“What we try to do at Goop is curate and to edit. We know that a woman’s time is her most precious resource and we want to multitask, get a lot done, and what we want to do is provide the best solutions,” she explained.

“I’m incredibly close to the common woman in that I’m a woman and I’m a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts with compassion and love we are all seekers…we all want fulfillment, we all want to live our best lives. We want to be healthy and happy and squeeze the most we can out of life. I think that’s all women.”

I mean, look – she sounds… okay, I guess. I think she believes that she means well, which is both sad and obnoxious, because the amount of utter shite that comes out of her mouth is beyond belief. But then you think, she THINKS she’s being sincere. Doesn’t that kinda count for something? (No, no it doesn’t.)

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Kris Jenner is single again after dumping her boy toy

kris jenner corey gamble

Kris Jenner got her groove back after ending her marriage to Bruce by taking up with Corey Gamble, a man 20+ years her senior who also happened to be part of Justin Bieber’s management team. It was fun while it lasted – because this was clearly a rebound relationship – and now it’s done and over with. That’s right: Kris used Corey for sex and now she’s dumped him since she’s had her fill.

The round up, courtesy of The Mirror:

An insider told Radar Online: “They haven’t been an item for a while. It was obvious to everyone that Corey was her rebound. Kris was using him for someone to hold and she was using him for sex. He gave her what she needed for that moment in time.”

The mother-of-five is believed to have raved about her sex life with Corey prior to the reported split.

Towards the end of last year an insider told Life and Style: “Kris has told friends that she’s having the best sex of her life with Corey.

“They are literally making out all the time like two teenagers in love. Her kids are constantly telling them to get a room.

“She’s gone so far as to buy a new NYC apartment just so she and Corey can have loud and crazy sex… Kris has swapped her comfy pajamas for loads of sexy lingerie.”

Don’t worry, though – it ain’t over yet. The tenth season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians is already finished filming, and Kris and Corey’s whirlwind sexathon will be well documented throughout the season. Hurrah for us.

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Christina Hendricks is a blonde now – “Hell yes!” or “God, no!”?

christina hendricks blonde

Christina Hendricks has been a ginger bombshell for as long as… well, for as long as we’ve given a shit about her, frankly. She made her name as Joan Holloway, the busty redhead with a major ‘tude on Mad Men, and that’s just how we’re used to her. So what do we think now that she’s a blonde?

We should note, this isn’t really a major change for Christina herself, since she grew up blonde and only dyed her hair red after becoming obsessed with Anne of Green Gables:

“Growing up, I was light blonde, but my mother used Clairol to make me a redhead when I was 10 because I was dying to be Anne of Green Gables,” the star, married to Geoffrey Arend since 2009, told Marie Claire. “When she finished, I felt this burst of energy, like, ‘Ah! I’m finally me!’ — which is a pretty funny sentiment for a 10-year-old.”

Now that Christina’s a Clairol spokeswoman, she’s returning to her roots, so to speak, with the blonde dye. I feel like this won’t last long, but here we are for now.

What do you think of the new ‘do?

christina hendricks blonde

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Patrick Schwarzenegger got caught cheating on Miley Cyrus

miley cyrus patrick schwarzenegger

Well, I know this is a couple days old, but I was waiting for more hell to break loose and it hasn’t, really. Anyway, it looks like there might be trouble in paradise for Miley Cyrus and boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger. Just months after they got together to form a blissful union of youthful souls, Patrick has been photographed cosying up to another girl while he was partying in Cabo San Lucas for spring break. Uh oh. Here are photos of the alleged homewrecker:

 

EXCLUSIVE!!! Patrick Schwarzenegger living the season of springb

Of course, Patrick’s got an answer for the pics. I mean, he’d NEVER cheat on Miley – this girl is totally just his friend! One of his best friends, at that! It’s totally normal for girls and guys to embrace romantically and for the girl to go in for a kiss when they’re just friends!

patrick twitter

Ya, okay. BULLSHIT. Miley is staying silent on this one, but hopefully she gives his dumb ass the boot, unless they’ve decided to be swingers, which I wouldn’t put past them.

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