Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Wants A Baby, Could Do Without The Baby Weight

A photo of Kim Kardashian

This was always something that seemed interesting to me, how Kim Kardashian has always claimed to want to have children, even though she’s probably the most vain, self-centered person alive. Like, when the time actually comes, which would she choose: her body or a pregnancy?

But, as we all know, the time has come, and, if we can believe these rumors (we can), it looks like she’s choosing to have her cake and eat it too. Except no cake, because ugh, then she would get so fat.

Kim Kardashian has come up with the perfect plan to have a baby with Kanye West and still keep her massive assets – hire a surrogate to carry the child for her!

According to a close source, Kim, who’s been dating 35-year-old rapper Kanye since early April, would like to have a young woman in her mid to late 20s “with a calm, soothing demeanor, a lot of patience and a posi­tive outlook” to serve as a surrogate.

The curvy 31-year-old reality star would also prefer a woman who has siblings and is married with a happy home life, added the source.

In exchange for having for having the power couple’s baby, the surrogate could stand to collect a whopping $200,000 to cover medical bills, ex­penses and the surrogacy fee.

“As far as Kim’s concerned, this is the answer to her dreams,” divulged the source.

“She desperately wants a baby with Kanye, but she doesn’t want to gain weight like her oldest sister Kourtney did!

“Kim actually said, ‘I won’t ruin my body by getting preg­nant.’’’

I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with having a surrogate. Plenty of women want children that share their genes, but when they discover that they’re unable to carry a child, they get surrogates, and that’s awesome. But that’s not what this is, and I think it’s really weird. Kim presumably has no idea whether or not her body is capable of getting pregnant, but she wants to cut out the middle man and just hire someone to do that part for her so she doesn’t ruin her figure. What will she do if she actually goes through with that plan, and the baby spits up all over a new dress? Or, oh my god, what if she gets baby vomit in her hair? Do you see where I’m going with this?

Once again, I feel so bad for Kanye.

Kim Kardashian Is More Famous Than Everyone

A photo of Kim Kardashian

From Radar:

Kim’s climb to fame began with her infamous sex tape,  and now the reality star believes she is more famous than several of Hollywood’s hottest A-listers combined, a source tells exclusively.

“I’m more famous thanJennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow combined,” Kim boasted to a friend recently. “She just doesn’t seem to understand that she is not a movie star, and she is famous for all the wrong reasons.”

The Keeping up with The Kardashians star kept her fame soaring after her 2007 sex tape, by exposing every detail of her private life but did a 360 turn in a recent interview on the TODAY show when she played coy after being asked about her romance with Kanye West.

She was criticized by Howard Stern who described her behavior as ‘insane’. “This is a girl who got famous revealing everything about her personal life, now… she thinks she’s Jennifer Aniston, she’s on there, ‘I don’t want to talk about Kanye, I don’t want to speak about it, I don’t read the tabloids, everybody back off.’ ”

But friends say the 31-year-old’s new found privacy is all part of her goal to marry Kanye. After her failed marriagetoKris Humphries, who she feels wasn’t famous enough for her, she has big plans to settle down with the 34-year-old rapper.

“Kim thinks she made a huge mistake and wasted her time marrying Kris because he is a no name. She is obsessed with the fact she married someone less famous then herself and has plans to fix that by marrying Kanye,” her friend revealed. “She feels if Angelina can marry an A-lister then so can she!”

Is Kim Kardashian this delusional? Absolutely. I can very easily imagine that she’d think something like “If Angelina can marry an A-lister, then so can I,” and I’m sure you can as well. There’s just something so insanely cracked in this girl’s mind that it’s so easy to believe that she would base her whole entire life around fame.

Also, is it just me or does Kim’s face look so much more tweaked lately? Look at this picture:

A photo of Kim Kardashian

What even is that? Is she sweaty or is her face covered in wax? Is it more plastic surgery than Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, and Gwyneth Paltrow?

Kanye Is Designing A Super Special Engagement Ring for Kim Kardashian

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

I’m so torn about about Kimye anymore, you guys. At first, I thought that they were a match made in heaven, that they could spend the rest of their lives being completely absurd together, but now I’m not so sure. It might have been the news of Kanye buying Kim that gaudy ass golden skull right around the same time Kim really started trying to win Beyonce over. It sort of seems like Kanye genuinely loves Kim in his own special way, but Kim is still just looking out for herself. Like, I’m starting to get really scared that she’ll hurt him. I’m worried about Kanye’s well being. What is even happening?

Whatever’s happening, this story doesn’t make it any better. No, because now there’s a rumor that Kanye is designing an engagement ring for Kim with gems from his beloved late mother’s jewelry collection. Oh no.

From Radar:

“Kanye picked out some of Donda’s most expensive pieces, including some diamond earrings and a ruby ring,” a source close to Kanye tells Radar.

“He then gave them to a private jeweler friend to make Kim a one-of-a-kind engagement ring.

“Donda was such an important person in Kanye’s life, he thought the world of her and was devastated when she died. So, he kept all her jewelry as keepsakes – a lot of the pieces were items he bought over the years after he made it as a hip-hop star.

“And now, Kanye has found a woman he respects and loves just as much as his mom, so he wants to share her jewelry collection with Kim.

“He’s hoping to propose to Kim with the ring when she finally gets divorced,” the source reveals.

However, Kanye’s sentimental gesture has been met with skepticism by his closest pals. They say he’s wrong to part with Donda’s prized possessions and have warned him if he ever breaks up with Kim she will keep the ring!

“His friends think it’s a terrible idea and are advising him not to give Kim the ring,” the source says. “Because it’s a gift, it would be difficult for Kanye to ask for it back if they ever split up.

“They’ve also reminded him that Kim is not somebody who works hard for her money. She makes millions doing reality shows and selling her image, and Donda’s jewelry shouldn’t be part of that image,” the source divulges.

Meanwhile, Kanye, 35, is also pushing Kim, 31, for a wedding in Chicago, where he grew up, or Oklahoma, where his mother is buried.

“Kanye’s an emotional character and has earmarked Chicago or Oklahoma as the two places he’d love to wed Kim,” the insider says.

“Oklahoma is his personal choice because his mother’s grave is there – and he wants her at his wedding in spirit.

“But he hasn’t ruled out Chicago, which he credits for giving him inspiration for building his glittering career.”

Awww, Kanye. I can just see him doing all this, picking out special pieces of jewelry that belonged to his mom and then presenting it to Kim, who would then scoff at it because “rubies, are you serious?” or “how many carats is this?” And then Kanye would suggest that they have the wedding in Oklahoma, which we all know Kim would never go for. I think there could be a very slight possibility that she’d go for Chicago, but never Oklahoma.

It’s just sad to me because while Kanye is certainly over the top crazy, he’s always so sincere about it. Kim, meanwhile, has probably never had a sincere moment in her life. This is so weird for me to say, but I feel really bad for Kanye.

Here’s My New Favorite Picture of Kim and Kanye

A photo of Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Kanye West

Oh man, this is just like that time that The Rock went to Splash Mountain last year and had his picture taken on a ride, which is awesome, because that was one of my very favorite times.

As you can see, Kim Kardashian and Kanye, along with little Kendall Jenner on the far left there, went to Magic Mountain. Thanks to this darling photo that Kim tweeted, we now know that Kim cries on rollercoasters, Kanye absolutely loves them, and Kendall is one of those bitches that’s too dumb to pull her hair back when she’s going to be flung around in the air all day on fancy fun machines. And if that knowledge wasn’t enough, just think about this: what if the faces Kim and Kanye are making right here are also their sex faces? Right? Just think about it for a minute.

I’m sorry, you guys, I just really, really got a kick out of this picture.

Fatmire Called Out Kim Kardashian on Twitter

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that Fatmire was going to go away quietly? After that whole pregnancy scam fell through, she had to think of some way to stay in the spotlight. And what better way to do it than to start tweeting at your fake ex-boyfriend’s ex?

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian just got a WARNING from a woman with whom she has something in common – Kris Humphries … and the warning is … BACK OFF!

Myla Sinanaj just tweeted to Kim, “Why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip and stop sending private investigators to my house-Stop dragging me into ur drama.”

Myla followed that up with, “I don’t have to explain Or apologize for who I chose to be friends with.  Subpoena or not!”

Myla is referring to a subpoena from Kim’s camp ordering her to sit for a deposition at the end of the month.  The depo involves Kim’s divorce from Kris — something Myla may know a  thing or 2 about.  Myla’s ex-lawyer, Joe Tacopina, already accepted service on Myla’s behalf, but it seems Kim’s camp may be worried Myla may now say he didn’t have authority to do that.

Myla also just tweeted, “Subpoena me twice for the same thing!  Hilarious.”

I just love that Fatmire is the kind of person who thinks that there’s this big fight going on when, in reality, the person she thinks she’s fighting with barely has a clue that she exists. I seriously doubt that Kim is sitting around, plotting out how to ruin Fatmire’s life. That’s what her lawyers are for.

I also enjoy the bonus hilarity of the “why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip” bit, mostly because I bet she read that Kim is in Miami when she was Googling herself. Fatmire is truly an exceptional breed of fame whore.

Let Kim Kardashian Teach You How to Look Just Like Kim Kardashian

I’ll just be straight with you: this interview is asinine. Kim does this grating fake laugh all the way through it, and it’s fairly obvious that she doesn’t want to be doing the interview and that she’s barely listening to the woman doing the interview. She interrupts her quite a few times, and she keeps passing up chances to joke around or actually have a conversation and instead gives her boring automated responses.

But another thing that Kim does is demonstrate how she does her makeup. And that makes the rest of the video totally worth it.

The whole thing starts out with Kim discussing how people always say that she’s had plastic surgery, but it’s totally not even true. It’s just makeup! She tells the interviewer that she’s going to teach her how to make her face look “really skinny and small” in photographs, and then she’s going to teach her how to contour her face.

So basically, this is bullshit. Kim’s saying that makeup makes her face look bigger or smaller on any given day, and she proves her ability to make her face look thinner by doing the makeup on a woman who naturally has a very thin face. Yeah, not buying that, girlfriend. Especially not when those before-and-after photos are so convincing. Here’s a good one from Reality Tea:

I’m always bad at pinpointing specific cosmetic procedures, but she’s had to have had something done to her face. I’d almost believe that contouring is responsible for her thinner nose, but her cheeks look a bit fuller too, I think, and in recent photos of her with no makeup, she still has the same fuller cheeks. And something happened with her eyes. That’s really the only thing I’d stand behind 100%, because her eyes look jacked as hell.

So let’s band together, friends, and once again attempt to document every plastic surgery Kim has ever had and every way in which Kim is a complete jackass!

Hey Look, It’s Kim Kardashian in A Bikini!

A photo of Kim Kardashian

This is a photo that Kim Kardashian posted to her Twitter, along with the caption “sunrise summertime shoot!” and the tags “no filter” and “no photoshop.” And I have no trouble believing that this photo wasn’t edited in any way, because I really don’t think that’s Kim at all.

Look at her face. Here’s a slightly bigger version for you to study. Sure, the hips are there, but the face just doesn’t look like Kim to me. It’s in the eyes, I think. To me, this picture looks a little like Jennifer Grey, pre-nose job. Or, you know, it could actually be Kim, just with more minimal makeup than we’re used to seeing on her and no fake eyelashes. Or it could be some big-assed model that Kim thought was cute. Or it could be Jennifer Grey with ass implants, hacking skills, and a time machine, who knows? I had an hour and a half of sleep last night, and I’m really leaning towards the Jennifer theory.

But if it really is Kim, this is hilarious. Are we supposed to be impressed that she looks thinner? Like, “oh girl, how did you do that? Does Kanye have you on a diet and exercise routine?” And she’d be like “yeah, guys, it’s the sweet new ‘stretch your arms over your head as hard as you can so your ribs will stick out’ regimen.” Because seriously, I bet that even ol’ fatty fatster Kate Upton could show some ribs with her arms stretched this high, and we all know what a whale she is. “No photoshop,” please.

What do you guys think though? Is this Kim or not?