Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Are Both Selling Their Homes, I’m About to Kill Myself

photo of kim kardashian and kanye west pictures
From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian and Kayne West have both discreetly listed their homes for sale, setting the stage for the big, “We’re movin’ in together” … TMZ has learned.

Kim has given a “pocket listing” to a realtor for her $4.8 mil Beverly Hills home — a pocket listing doesn’t appear in official real estate documents. We’re told Kim’s asking price is $5 million.

Ditto Kanye, who listed his L.A. home as well — again, a pocket listing.

Sources close to the couple confirm … both are selling their homes so they can rent a house together. They’re looking for a really private place to live … behind gates.

So this means that they’re moving in together. It has to. Unless they’re making a suicide pact, and, in which case I would not advise them upon one way or the other, there’s no other reason for both of them to be completely dropping off the real estate grid unless they were going to embark upon a joint venture. Together. Which is guess is redundant, since I already said “joint.” But it is what it is.

I’m also hearing rumors that the two are going to get married, soon, too, and it’s probably going to be a very private, low-key affair*. And that Kanye is just dying to knock Kim up. From Us Weekly:

“They’re seriously talking marriage…and yes, she would,” they said.

As we saw during Kim’s shortlived marriage to Kris Humphries, who she’s still waiting to divorce, the reality star was desperate to start a family, and Kanye could be that man to finally give her what she wants.

“Kanye can’t wait to see her carrying his child,” the insider said. “He says she will look beautiful pregnant.”

Oh. Well, that’s good then. I mean, Kanye does seem the type to really concentrate on what his wife/babymama looks like while she’s pregnant. Honestly, f-ck the whole “healthy” thing. As long as the bitch looks good with a swollen Kanye-baby belly, that’s all that really matters in the world. Priorities priorities, folks.

*Of course it’s not going to be private or low-key. We’re talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye f-cking West here. If you look up those two names in the dictionary, under “antonyms,” you’ll see “private” and “low-key,” along with “classy,” “tasteful,” and “genteel.”

Quotables: Kristen Stewart Says Kim Kardashian is “Faking It”

photo of kim kardashian and kristen stewart pictures

“Yeah, but they’re lying while that video is being made. The act is in itself a lie. You’re faking something. The girl is lying there, she’s pretending that she doesn’t know the camera’s on, she’s getting banged, and “accidentally” it leaks out? Everyone leaks their own sex tapes! That’s a ploy to get famous—that’s not about the sex. It’s not like when Madonna did her Sex book, and it was an artistic endeavor where she acknowledged it and spoke about it and was so upfront about it. It’s different. It’s not upfront. It’s not honest. It’s a ploy to get famous.”

OK, so she wasn’t *directly* talking about Kim Kardashian, but I’m going to draw that line and make the connection, because really. Who else out there is only famous because of some skanky, piss-filled sex tape? Come on.

Also, Kristen‘s right. Granted, she’s wearing her Captian Obvious underoos the whole time she’s discussing this particular subject (the moral of the story is “People just wanna be famous and ZOMG SEX”), but hey. We’re going to take it and keep it filed away in our admiration drawers, because not many celebrities have this elevated self-awareness that allows them to talk sense—even if it is obvious sense.

New BFF Alert: Beyonce and Kim Kardashian!

A photo of Beyonce and Kim Kardashian

I know, I know, we’ve heard before that Beyonce is not at all interested in becoming besties, or even acquaintances, with Kim Kardashian. We’ve heard that even though Kim is dating Kanye, the BFF of Beyonce’s husband, Jay-Z, Beyonce has made a “No Kardashians Allowed” rule. We’ve heard a lot of things, you guys, but none of it’s true. No, Kim and Beyonce are totally friends. Got it?

From Us Weekly:

After touring Cannes, France last week and unexpectedly parting with some “sentimental” items in her luggage, Kim Kardashian was looking to let loose.

Before making an appearance at The Pool After Dark at Harrah’s resort in Atlantic City, NJ on Sunday, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star made a beeline for Beyonce’s concert with pal Brittny Gastineau and her makeup artist Mario at Revel’s Ovation Hall. Kardashian and Gastineau enjoyed a night of dancing and singing along with the songstress’ chart-topping hits.

Backstage, Kardashian, 31, got a chance to chat with the woman of the evening herself, and the pair were seen greeting each other with an embrace and dancing together. Beyonce’s husband of four years, Jay-Z, is best friends with Kanye West, Kardashian’s serious boyfriend.

“Kim thought it was such a great show,” a source tells Us Weekly. “There’s always some random rumors there is tension between them and there totally isn’t! Kim had so much fun.”

The E! star is one of several A-listers who made it out to Beyonce’s four-concert weekend, which marked her post-baby performance debut since giving birth to daughter Blue Ivy in January.

On Saturday, First Lady Michelle Obama, 48, and her daughters Malia, 13, and Sasha, 10, watched the show from a private box where they did the “Single Ladies” dance together and rocked out to “Crazy in Love.” Oprah’s BFF Gayle King sat nearby.

Ok, I have a few thoughts on this story, so I’ll go ahead and break them down:

- Those “sentimental items” that Kim lost? She’s saying that it was a pair of vintage sunglasses that her father gave her just before he died, and that the airline’s employees stole them, along with some items that were less sentimental and more expensive. Obviously she has a right to be upset about it, but why would you take something that means so much to you when you’re going to be doing a lot of flying?

- Does anyone else think that the source sounds suspiciously like Kim herself? Totally.

- This article seriously called Kim Kardashian an A-lister. No.

- Where do I get a video of Michelle Obama doing the “Single Ladies” dance?

Did I miss anything?

I Guess Kanye Is in Control of Kim’s Fashion Choices Now

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

We’ve talked about Kim Kardashian‘s fashion choices a few times this week, remember? Specifically, we talked about how she seemed to be developing a trend of wearing memorable dresses that other celebrities wore before her. First there was her Gwyneth Paltrow dress, and then she stepped out in Cannes wearing the same dress that had been worn before by Zoe Saldana, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Katy Perry (not at the same time, of course, but if someone could draw that picture, that would be awesome). But now there’s some news that reveals that Kanye is really the one to blame for the bad fashion. Natch.

From the Daily News:

Rapper-turned-fashion-designer Kanye West has been giving Kim Kardashian some fashion advice.

“Kanye has been having chats with Kim about her style. He thinks she should be more like him, edgy with her choices. He keeps saying she should evolve as a fashion icon,” thesun.co.uk quoted a source as saying.

Kim ran a clothing boutique with her sisters Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian as well as her mother Kris Jenner before finding fame. She has also created a successful apparel line named Kardashian Kollection.

However, West thinks Kim needs to be more adventurous with the image.

“Kanye says she plays it safe too much so has been trying to pick outfits for her to wear and encourage her to be more daring,” the source said.

And here’s a similar story all about how Kanye wants Kim to look like Kate Middleton:

Rapper-turned-fashion designer Kanye West prefers his rumoured girlfriend Kim Kardashian to sport a natural look a la Duchess of Cambridge Catherine Middleton. The rapper has been advising his reality TV star girlfriend’s style team on how he wants her to look, with Middleton as a reference point.”Kanye does like to get involved with Kim’s look. He actually has a lot of input, he has amazing style so we take his opinions to heart and I say, ‘Okay, I’ll try it’,” femalefirst.co.uk quoted Kardashian’s stylist Rob Scheppy as saying.

“Catherine Middleton has influenced her look while in London. Catherine’s amazing. We watched her wedding and we thought it was beautiful,” he said.

West, who has his own women’s fashion line DW Kanye West, is not afraid to speak his mind, and dislikes it if Kardashian wears too much make-up.

“Kanye’s not afraid to say what he likes. He definitely likes the less-is-more look. Everyone wants to look good for their man, so Kim will listen and say, ‘Okay. I’ll go with what my boyfriend says’,” Scheppy added.

Ok, first off, no, everyone does not want to look good for their man. Sometimes people want to be comfortable, and sometimes people want to look how they want to look. I get wanting to get dressed up every now and again, but if your significant other would think less of you because of your makeup or your clothes, then maybe you should find a different significant other. Also, Kim’s been modeling and “designing clothes” for quite a while, and she’s basically famous because people thinks she looks good, so I think she’s got this whole area covered.

Besides, is anyone actually going to take Kanye seriously when it comes to fashion? Did everyone forget what his actual designs look like?

Kim Kardashian Has So Many Twinsies!

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Just a couple of days ago, Kim Kardashian went to a party in Cannes wearing the same dress that Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Emmys last year. And then the next day, she wore that dress that you see in that picture up there. It’s my belief that Kim is trying to reach her maximum potential for twinsies, because a handful of other celebrities have already worn this awful dress.

The first lady to wear the dress was Zoe Saldana, back in August. Her dress included a little white train, and I can’t decide if it helps the dress or if it just makes its tragic hideousness a little more fancy:

A photo of Zoe Saldana

In November, model Alessandra Ambrosio wore it to an event. Alessandra’s version looks the most similar to Kim’s, so maybe Kim is trying to reach out to her the hardest. Or maybe it’s just the luck of the twinsie draw. We can’t really be sure at this point:

A photo of Alessandra Ambrosio

And then Katy Perry wore the dress while she was in Paris for Fashion Week in March. Her particular dress is in a different color, but it’s the same terrible idea:

A photo of Katy Perry

Does it seem weird to anybody else that Kim wore very recognizable dresses worn by very recognizable celebrities twice in just a couple of days? And it’s not even that the dresses have been worn before – even with Kim’s vast amount of money, it’s silly to think that every single dress she ever wears to an event can be completely original – it’s that they’re such distinct dresses that have definitely caused a buzz before. It’s like, what’s she going to wear tomorrow? Bjork’s swan dress?

Kim Kardashian Has A New Twinsie!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow and Kim Kardashian

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow wore an awful, awful dress to the Emmys. She should never have worn it in the first place, but if she absolutely had to, then it should have been stripped from her body and burned by her servants immediately after the event. Of course, that’s how things would go in a perfect world. Since this world isn’t perfect, Kim Kardashian wore the same awful dress to a party in Cannes.

This is interesting because Kim and Gwyneth are both pretty unlikable ladies, and if they’re both wearing the same unlikable dress, well, then we’ve got a whole mess of horrible then, don’t we? The question is which of these two looks less awful.

Here’s another shot of Gwyneth:

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

And here’s Kim:

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Man, I really, really despise that dress. That being said, I think Kim might pull it off just a little better. Gwyneth has more of a straight figure, where Kim (obviously) has a lot more curves. I think those curves make the top stay in place a little better, so it’s not so obvious that this is a damn formal belly shirt. As the late, great Whitney Houston said, it’s not right, but it’s ok.

But what do you guys think?

Who wore it better?
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Hooray, It’s Another Kardashian Lingerie Ad!

A photo of Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian

Aww, bless your hearts! It’s been over a month since we last showed you any new lingerie ads featuring those lovable Kardashians! I know you’ve been just sick over this, and I know that you can’t bring yourself to purchase a piece of lingerie or swimwear until you’ve seen it modeled on the body of a Kardashian woman. I’m truly sorry for this, and it will never happen again, if I can help it.

But instead of prolonging your heartache even more, let’s go ahead and discuss the photo, all right?

It’s pretty similar to the other ads in a couple of ways. Khloe, despite being covered up (again), is the first thing your eye, or at least my eye, goes to in the photo. She’s also the fiercest Kardashian, by far. Kim and her rack look way Photoshopped. And Kourtney, well … she’s there. I appreciate Kourtney and everything, but this just doesn’t seem like her thing.

And just because I feel bad that it’s been so long since you’ve seen one of these ads, I have an extra bit of Kardashian news for you: they’re not going anywhere! We already knew that they signed a contract for three more seasons, but last week, we pondered if people still cared about them. Guess what: they do! The premiere of the seventh season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which aired on Sunday, had nearly three million viewers, which was up 16% from the last season premiere. So yeah, their popularity is apparently on the rise. So drink that in for a moment.

Did you guys watch the show on Sunday? Are you going to make a purchase from the Kardashian Kollection? Are you still trying to boycott this family? Let’s talk about it!