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Kim Kardashian

Kanye Is Designing A Super Special Engagement Ring for Kim Kardashian

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

I’m so torn about about Kimye anymore, you guys. At first, I thought that they were a match made in heaven, that they could spend the rest of their lives being completely absurd together, but now I’m not so sure. It might have been the news of Kanye buying Kim that gaudy ass golden skull right around the same time Kim really started trying to win Beyonce over. It sort of seems like Kanye genuinely loves Kim in his own special way, but Kim is still just looking out for herself. Like, I’m starting to get really scared that she’ll hurt him. I’m worried about Kanye’s well being. What is even happening?

Whatever’s happening, this story doesn’t make it any better. No, because now there’s a rumor that Kanye is designing an engagement ring for Kim with gems from his beloved late mother’s jewelry collection. Oh no.

From Radar:

“Kanye picked out some of Donda’s most expensive pieces, including some diamond earrings and a ruby ring,” a source close to Kanye tells Radar.

“He then gave them to a private jeweler friend to make Kim a one-of-a-kind engagement ring.

“Donda was such an important person in Kanye’s life, he thought the world of her and was devastated when she died. So, he kept all her jewelry as keepsakes – a lot of the pieces were items he bought over the years after he made it as a hip-hop star.

“And now, Kanye has found a woman he respects and loves just as much as his mom, so he wants to share her jewelry collection with Kim.

“He’s hoping to propose to Kim with the ring when she finally gets divorced,” the source reveals.

However, Kanye’s sentimental gesture has been met with skepticism by his closest pals. They say he’s wrong to part with Donda’s prized possessions and have warned him if he ever breaks up with Kim she will keep the ring!

“His friends think it’s a terrible idea and are advising him not to give Kim the ring,” the source says. “Because it’s a gift, it would be difficult for Kanye to ask for it back if they ever split up.

“They’ve also reminded him that Kim is not somebody who works hard for her money. She makes millions doing reality shows and selling her image, and Donda’s jewelry shouldn’t be part of that image,” the source divulges.

Meanwhile, Kanye, 35, is also pushing Kim, 31, for a wedding in Chicago, where he grew up, or Oklahoma, where his mother is buried.

“Kanye’s an emotional character and has earmarked Chicago or Oklahoma as the two places he’d love to wed Kim,” the insider says.

“Oklahoma is his personal choice because his mother’s grave is there – and he wants her at his wedding in spirit.

“But he hasn’t ruled out Chicago, which he credits for giving him inspiration for building his glittering career.”

Awww, Kanye. I can just see him doing all this, picking out special pieces of jewelry that belonged to his mom and then presenting it to Kim, who would then scoff at it because “rubies, are you serious?” or “how many carats is this?” And then Kanye would suggest that they have the wedding in Oklahoma, which we all know Kim would never go for. I think there could be a very slight possibility that she’d go for Chicago, but never Oklahoma.

It’s just sad to me because while Kanye is certainly over the top crazy, he’s always so sincere about it. Kim, meanwhile, has probably never had a sincere moment in her life. This is so weird for me to say, but I feel really bad for Kanye.

Here’s My New Favorite Picture of Kim and Kanye

A photo of Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Kanye West

Oh man, this is just like that time that The Rock went to Splash Mountain last year and had his picture taken on a ride, which is awesome, because that was one of my very favorite times.

As you can see, Kim Kardashian and Kanye, along with little Kendall Jenner on the far left there, went to Magic Mountain. Thanks to this darling photo that Kim tweeted, we now know that Kim cries on rollercoasters, Kanye absolutely loves them, and Kendall is one of those bitches that’s too dumb to pull her hair back when she’s going to be flung around in the air all day on fancy fun machines. And if that knowledge wasn’t enough, just think about this: what if the faces Kim and Kanye are making right here are also their sex faces? Right? Just think about it for a minute.

I’m sorry, you guys, I just really, really got a kick out of this picture.

Fatmire Called Out Kim Kardashian on Twitter

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that Fatmire was going to go away quietly? After that whole pregnancy scam fell through, she had to think of some way to stay in the spotlight. And what better way to do it than to start tweeting at your fake ex-boyfriend’s ex?

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian just got a WARNING from a woman with whom she has something in common – Kris Humphries … and the warning is … BACK OFF!

Myla Sinanaj just tweeted to Kim, “Why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip and stop sending private investigators to my house-Stop dragging me into ur drama.”

Myla followed that up with, “I don’t have to explain Or apologize for who I chose to be friends with.  Subpoena or not!”

Myla is referring to a subpoena from Kim’s camp ordering her to sit for a deposition at the end of the month.  The depo involves Kim’s divorce from Kris — something Myla may know a  thing or 2 about.  Myla’s ex-lawyer, Joe Tacopina, already accepted service on Myla’s behalf, but it seems Kim’s camp may be worried Myla may now say he didn’t have authority to do that.

Myla also just tweeted, “Subpoena me twice for the same thing!  Hilarious.”

I just love that Fatmire is the kind of person who thinks that there’s this big fight going on when, in reality, the person she thinks she’s fighting with barely has a clue that she exists. I seriously doubt that Kim is sitting around, plotting out how to ruin Fatmire’s life. That’s what her lawyers are for.

I also enjoy the bonus hilarity of the “why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip” bit, mostly because I bet she read that Kim is in Miami when she was Googling herself. Fatmire is truly an exceptional breed of fame whore.

Let Kim Kardashian Teach You How to Look Just Like Kim Kardashian

I’ll just be straight with you: this interview is asinine. Kim does this grating fake laugh all the way through it, and it’s fairly obvious that she doesn’t want to be doing the interview and that she’s barely listening to the woman doing the interview. She interrupts her quite a few times, and she keeps passing up chances to joke around or actually have a conversation and instead gives her boring automated responses.

But another thing that Kim does is demonstrate how she does her makeup. And that makes the rest of the video totally worth it.

The whole thing starts out with Kim discussing how people always say that she’s had plastic surgery, but it’s totally not even true. It’s just makeup! She tells the interviewer that she’s going to teach her how to make her face look “really skinny and small” in photographs, and then she’s going to teach her how to contour her face.

So basically, this is bullshit. Kim’s saying that makeup makes her face look bigger or smaller on any given day, and she proves her ability to make her face look thinner by doing the makeup on a woman who naturally has a very thin face. Yeah, not buying that, girlfriend. Especially not when those before-and-after photos are so convincing. Here’s a good one from Reality Tea:

I’m always bad at pinpointing specific cosmetic procedures, but she’s had to have had something done to her face. I’d almost believe that contouring is responsible for her thinner nose, but her cheeks look a bit fuller too, I think, and in recent photos of her with no makeup, she still has the same fuller cheeks. And something happened with her eyes. That’s really the only thing I’d stand behind 100%, because her eyes look jacked as hell.

So let’s band together, friends, and once again attempt to document every plastic surgery Kim has ever had and every way in which Kim is a complete jackass!

Hey Look, It’s Kim Kardashian in A Bikini!

A photo of Kim Kardashian

This is a photo that Kim Kardashian posted to her Twitter, along with the caption “sunrise summertime shoot!” and the tags “no filter” and “no photoshop.” And I have no trouble believing that this photo wasn’t edited in any way, because I really don’t think that’s Kim at all.

Look at her face. Here’s a slightly bigger version for you to study. Sure, the hips are there, but the face just doesn’t look like Kim to me. It’s in the eyes, I think. To me, this picture looks a little like Jennifer Grey, pre-nose job. Or, you know, it could actually be Kim, just with more minimal makeup than we’re used to seeing on her and no fake eyelashes. Or it could be some big-assed model that Kim thought was cute. Or it could be Jennifer Grey with ass implants, hacking skills, and a time machine, who knows? I had an hour and a half of sleep last night, and I’m really leaning towards the Jennifer theory.

But if it really is Kim, this is hilarious. Are we supposed to be impressed that she looks thinner? Like, “oh girl, how did you do that? Does Kanye have you on a diet and exercise routine?” And she’d be like “yeah, guys, it’s the sweet new ‘stretch your arms over your head as hard as you can so your ribs will stick out’ regimen.” Because seriously, I bet that even ol’ fatty fatster Kate Upton could show some ribs with her arms stretched this high, and we all know what a whale she is. “No photoshop,” please.

What do you guys think though? Is this Kim or not?

Kanye West Is Great at Buying Presents

A photo of Kanye West

Who’s surprised? Anyone? I didn’t think so.

Here is something that Kanye bought for Kim Kardashian:

Yep, it’s a big ol’ skull made of gold, and it costs around $34,000. That’s, uh, sweet, I guess.

Here are some additional details:

Given his penchant for extravagant spending, it should come as no surprise that Kanye West has recently been showering those closest to him with $34,000 gold skull statues. If nothing else, at least we now know that he’s a practical gift-giver!

For Father’s Day, Kanye got pal Jay-Z a yellow gold skull statue with 1,680 star-cut red topaz gemstones set around the head. Good luck topping that one, Blue Ivy.

Kanye, who didn’t trust ordinary shipping services with such an extraordinary gift, chartered a private jet (he must be really into those) in order to hand deliver the statue to the new father.

Lest girlfriend Kim Kardashian become jealous, he gave her one as well — though Kim’s is adorned with white sapphires and reportedly engraved with the letters “KKW” for “Kim Kardashian West.” Awww. Slightly less pricey than the tricked-out Lamborghini Kim bought Kanye for his birthday, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

West apparently found inspiration for the gift after discovering that Michael Jackson gave the same one to Elizabeth Taylor, which is simultaneously sweet and ominous.

This might just be me, but if someone gave me a gold skull with my initials engraved on the back of it, I think I’d be creeped out. And if it was my name with his last name tacked on? That’s restraining order material right there. And if the whole thing was inspired by a gift that Michael Jackson gave to Elizabeth Taylor, then I’d just be completely done. I’d probably forgo the restraining order and resign myself to my fate, which is clearly being stalked by some complete nutjob who thinks gold skulls are a romantic gesture.

However, if this is the kind of gift that Kanye’s really into giving, then I absolutely cannot wait for him to marry Kim. That wedding will be unbelievable.

Kim Kardashian Is An Aunt Again!

A photo of Kim Kardashian

No, Kourtney hasn’t had her second baby yet. And no, Khloe isn’t pregnant. Kim just decided to declare herself “Auntie Kim” to Beyonce‘s kid.

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Kim Kardashian is desperate to become BFFs with Beyonce – and she’s spoiling the singer’s baby to get super-close, say sources.

Kim splurged on a $5000 diamond-studded baby bracelet for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s 6-month-old daughter Blue Ivy. But Kim presumptuously personalized the trinket with the engraving “Love Auntie Kim.”

And now Beyonce is suspicious that Kim is trying to buy her friendship, confide insiders.

“They have been friends for five minutes, but already Kim is trying to force herself into Beyonce’s life,” says a source. After Kim bought Blue Ivy the pink-and-white-diamond-studded bracelet, Beyonce was moved by the lavish gesture, but then she became suspicious of the grandiose “Auntie Kim” engraving.

“She thought it was over the top, considering she’s known Kim personally for such a short time. Despite Kim’s sex tape and bad marriages, Beyonce had been warming to her based on her charming demeanor and romance with Kanye, who’s a good friend. But she certainly doesn’t consider Kim family in any way, shape or form. And for Kim to suggest that closeness in a present for Blue Ivy really put Beyonce off.”

Beyonce and Kim have been spending time together during the “Watch the Throne” tour, but Beyonce is beginning to feel uncomfortable, according to the source.

“She believes Kim is trying to buy her friendship through her daughter, and she’s cooling to their friendship. Right now, Beyonce is on her guard. She’s keeping her distance until she feels more trusting of Kim.”

I can’t believe I’ve never really thought about the close relationship that Kim will have with Blue Ivy now that she and Beyonce are total BFFs. I mean, of course she’ll get Blue Ivy cute little bracelets and trinkets and dresses, you know? Because she’s family now. And by the way, this isn’t sarcasm, this is just what Kim actually thinks. Because she is completely out of touch with reality. And she’s probably already planning not only her wedding to Kanye, but also her firstborn son’s wedding to Blue Ivy. It’s because she’s a romantic, not because she’s a stalker, ok?