Jan 2, 2013 | #myass part 1!!!! My real booty lol make fun of mine not a fake one lol by JENNIWOWW on Keek.com
Jan 2, 2013 | #my ass part 2!!! by JENNIWOWW on Keek.com
J Woww says the photo of her ass circulating the internets is “vile” and “disgusting,” and claims that a huge amount of Photoshopping happened in order for her bum to look like … well, like my grandmother’s, if my grandmother wore skanky, too-short sequin dresses and had the bad judgement to bend over while on stage.
After watching the video, do you guys believe that the original photo was, indeed, ‘shopped, or do you think it was definitely her ass, just from a bad angle?
So Jersey Shore‘s J Woww and Snooki were tapped by MTV to host their New Year’s Eve celebration the other night, none other than J Woww’s grandma ass made an appearance, as you can see from the photo above.
In what can only be described as foreshadowing, J Woww had this to say about her then-upcoming stint as co-host of MTV’s Club NYE 2013:
“[I'm] preparing for a sh–show, basically. I’m trying to find that happy medium of not drunk but drunk… so not too drunk. Not like Snooki wasted but before that. Before my eyes start crossing and I can still read the teleprompter.”
Snooki, the show’s other host, had this to say:
“I’m still trying to get my body back form having a baby so I wanna make sure I have enough sparkle and enough bounce in my hair. I just wanna make sure I look good cause I know hosting with Jenni’s gonna be so much fun. I’m not worried about that but I just wanna make sure I look the part.”
In related news, J Woww is a rabid hose beast who wears dresses that are too short to live. Coincidence? I hardly think so.
Happy, happy New Year, everyone!
And isn’t she cute? Seriously, this might be the best that J Woww‘s ever looked in life, and that’s almost sad, considering it’s only for Halloween.
For real, though? She’s looking a lot like CZJ circa ‘Mask of Zorro’, and if you don’t believe me, here it is:
Right? Granted, Woww’s face is much puffier and a lot shinier because of fillers than CZJ’s lovely one, but there’s a lot of the same features going on there, and generally speaking, I think this is a winning look for girlfriend (both of them; how hot was Catherine in that movie? Damn).
Here it is. And here you are, looking at it. ‘It’, of course, would be the ill-gotten (?) engagement ring of a reality show ho who calls herself J WOWW and who prides herself on bar fights and how much she can drink (and puke) in one night. Don’t you feel good about yourself now? Because you should.
Also, good ol’ Jenny Loves the Cock is all a-titter over the ring, saying she’s not worthy of it or something. From an exclusive interview with In Touch magazine:
“It’s more than I ever expected,” Jenni, 27, tells In Touch.
Roger, 37, says he spent months planning the proposal and worked with jeweler Layna Friedman to design the ring, with a cushion-cut diamond that’s more than 5 carats surrounded by 2.5 carats of pink and white diamonds in a white-gold setting.
“Roger’s not an average-looking guy, he’s huge: his personality, his size [6'4"]. So I always said, ‘I want my ring like you — big! The bigger the better!’”
And the first person she called to share the good news? Her best friend, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who will be by her pal’s side as a bridesmaid or maid of honor when she walks down the aisle. “If there’s anyone in this world that wanted me to be engaged more than me,” Jenni says, “it’d be Nicole.”
So many, many things I could say about Jenni’s “the bigger, the better” comment. So many, many things I could say about the “anyone in this world that wanted me to be engaged more than me” comment. Oh good heavens. J Woww’s going to be a Jersey bridezilla with a capital HERPE (and yes, to the smart-ass commenter that, one time, said, “God I hope it’s a typo and you don’t actually believe that ‘herpes’ is a plural form of ‘herpe’, YES I’m using the word—my word—”herpe” again. LOVE YOU GIRL!).
From Radar Online:
From one daring leap to another, JWOWW’s longtime boyfriend Roger Mathews popped the question to the reality star when they were skydiving, WetPaint Entertainment is exclusively reporting.
“It happened the middle of last week during filming for season two of Snooki & JWOWW,” a production insider exclusively told Wetpaint. “(JWOWW) and Roger went skydiving and jumped out of a plane together. After landing safely, Roger shocked her by getting down on one knee and proposing. Of course, she said yes!”
As for the bling, “It’s beautiful!” said the insider, “and big.”
Just don’t expect to see the bride-to-be wearing her sparkler anytime soon, as the exclusive reveal will be saved for the show.
“The crew took great pains to make sure they weren’t followed by photographers and the footage is being kept tightly under wraps. Everyone will have to wait until Season 2 to see it.”
I’m so glad the “exclusive” “reveal” is going to be “saved” for the show, because that definitely screams “CLASS!” and not “MONEY!” at all. Good for you, J Woww. Can’t wait to see what kind of virginal, blushing bride you make, girl.
Alright. I’m about to reveal some really heavy shit right here, guys, and it kind of goes like this: this show. Well. I guess it actually doesn’t look all that bad. And worse? The trailer kind of makes Snooki and J Woww look like charming, young, all-American girls (let’s just not comment on the “all-American” part, OK?). Somehow, I was able to identify with J Woww with the whole quasi-disappointed “she’s [Snooki] not hoorah-ing,” and I was also able to identify with the confused, surprised, and kind of sad Snooki as she realized that she wasn’t sure what she wanted after hearing that she’s pregnant.
I do resolve, however, not to watch this show (publicly). I also will say that there’s still positively nothing appealing about either one of these young women (except for their soft, sensitive sides that have been magically revealed through their spin-off). Last, I’m going to make a promise to myself, and you guys, that I won’t be talking about this show when it debuts (much).
What did you guys think of the trailer? For the fans, is it everything you hoped for and more? For the haters, did it maybe change your outlook on Snooks and Jenni Farley? Help a sister out here.
Why? Oh I don’t know. Probably because this is what J Woww considers “deep thinking,” because anytime she hears the words “deep,” she automatically associates them with “deep-throating” and deep as in “knee-deep in crusty vadge.”
In light of President’s Day today (which pissed me off, because my bank was closed, therefore a check I deposited on Saturday did not clear because of it), J wrote up her very own “President I’d Like to F-ck” list. Here they are in no particular order (I guess):
Ulysses S. Grant
George W. Bush
John F. Kennedy
Ulysses S. Grant? Does she even know who he is? Because this is what he looked like in his heyday:
Does she even know what she’s getting into there? And then, of course, you’ve got George Washington, which I suppose would be “hot” if you were into dudes that looked like your grandmother:
Nope. Don’t get that one at all. Sorry, George.
I can understand (though I don’t agree with) Bill Clinton; there’s John F. Kennedy and Ronald Regan and Barack Obama who are definitely traditionally good looking, and I can even see George W – he seems like he’d be a decent lay – but the rest? Abraham Lincoln? Ulysses? Washington? I don’t know what I’m more repulsed by – that she chose these particular men, or the thought of her boning them.
In light of the holiday, who are Presidents that you’d f-ck? Would Ulysses S. Grant and George Washington appear on your list, too?