This picture is just all sorts of wrong. All sorts. Is it a real baby? Is it a doll? Does the child have a face? I don’t know. These are all questions that plague me when I get down to thinking about the notorious B.i.C. and her mama, Beyonce.
This photo was taken and posted to Beyonce’s quasi-private Tumblr page, where photos of the stars life are said to be cherry-picked to make people realize that Beyonce is a real person who lives a real life and has a “real” “chid.” But the thing that concerns me about all of this is that we never see the kid’s face. And while I realize that Beyonce is not the first celebrity to hide the faces of their children (Michael Jackson), doing this only lends credence to the rumors that Beyonce’s embarrassed that her potentially-real child has a wide nose and she and her mother, Tina, are gradually reshaping it out of the public eye, or that, you know, Blue Ivy Carter is actually what some people would consider a DOLL, and not at all real.
The second thing that has me wondering is the way Beyonce’s holding that baby. Blue Ivy is allegedly a little over eight months old, and while eight months is pretty good when it comes to development and the baby being able to hold itself upright for long periods of time, Beyonce’s holding that kid like she weighs no more than a ten-pound bag of Yukon Gold potatoes. It’s either that, or Beyonce has the world’s strongest index fingers and thumbs. It’s just awkward positioning. And she’s still so small for being eight months old. I guess that’d probably the the third odd thing about this picture. I know babies are all different sizes, and some eight-month-olds really are this small, but B.i.C. doesn’t even look like she’s grown in the past six months, especially when you compare this picture to other pictures of her and her mother. If anything, she looks smaller than she has in previous photos. Like this one:
And this one:
Bottom line? This picture, and this baby, just does not look like it’s a real thing. There’s just no f-cking way. Somebody’s doing a baby-swap, and I think that someone’s name is Beyonce.