Today's Evil Beet Gossip

A New Job for Lindsay Lohan?

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LOL, No, sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up, but there is something brewing with Tina Fey and ‘Mean Girls’, and it’s probably not going to involve Lindsay Lohan.

In a recent interview with E! Online, Tina Fey claims that she’d love to bring ‘Mean Girls’ to Broadway, and what’s more, she wants to drag Mariah Carey into the fold.

From E!:

“Maybe! We want to. I would love to,” Tina Fey told E! News on the red carpet at the SAG Awards. “I’m trying to develop it with my husband, who does all the music for 30 Rock and I think Paramount’s onboard.”

Grool! And Tina already has one musician in mind to take on one of the now-iconic parts: Mariah Carey.

“I loved it!” Tina gushed when asked about the recent American Idol fight between Mariah and fellow judge Nicki Minaj over Mean Girls. “And I think Mariah won. Like, Mariah seemed to really know all the characters.”

During the spat, Ms. Carey was adamant that she was no Regina George and Tina agrees: “Maybe she can play Amy Poehler’s part in the musical.”

Uh, yes please. We can totally see Mariah dolled up in a pink suede jump suit. She is a cool mom, after all. And perhaps Tommy Lee Jones can play her put-upon husband, what with the grumpy face he showcased at the Golden Globes.

“Every time we came out I felt like, not only was Tommy Lee Jones looking at me, but looking at me like he was so mad at me,” Fey recalled. “But I think that might just be his face.”

No word on if Lindsay wants to claim the Regina George role, because there’s no way in hell she could pull off the innocent, sweet part of Cady Heron in a reprisal. It just won’t happen.

Love It or Leave It: Justin Bieber’s Billboard Cover

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Now, I don’t normally run Justin Bieber stories myself, partially because I despise Justin Bieber, and partially because … oh, wait, right. It’s just that one thing: because I despise Justin Bieber. This, however, was interesting, because in the accompanying Billboard interview (which isn’t out in its entirety yet), Justin talks about how he’s in a really dark place in life right now, and some are speculating that it’s because of Selena Gomez and all that pot-smoking and butt-showing.

In the interview, which is set to release today, Justin says this:

“I’m not in the happiest place that I’ve ever been.”

And I’m, like, agog. Justin Bieber, not happy? I just can’t even imagine why. It can’t be because he beats on people and that makes them despise him, nor can it be because he just can’t stop with all the silly tattoos, because hey. They can be removed one day, I guess. Whatever, though. Judge not Bieber lest ye be hit by a car or something, right?

Justin’s Billboard cover—love it or leave it?

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Quotables: Kim Kardashian’s Already Worried About her Ass

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It’s going to be so awful. My ass is going to get so big.

Kim Kardashian on what her pregnancy’s going to be like. In a word?Well, she said it. The word is “awful.” Isn’t that so, so nice? Isn’t it wonderful that she’s more concerned about her ass, and how “awful” it’s going to be when it inevitably grows large enough that you can see that donk from the front, it eclipsing her growing baby bump and all? Sure. “Awful.” Got it.

But How Bad Was Anne Hathaway’s SAG Award Acceptance Speech?

No, I know; it wasn’t bad, actually. It was pretty heartfelt, it seemed, and she didn’t even come across as smug and deserving, like I originally said earlier, over the weekend. She came across as breathless, and nervous, and excited, and while I’m not going to go ahead and say that she deserved the award (because can you believe it—I still haven’t seen ‘Les Miserables’ yet), she definitely wasn’t as obnoxious as I thought she might be when I first heard that she’d won.

But hey—don’t go and get any silly ideas, Anne Hathaway. Your SAG award speech wasn’t all that bad, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to go and like you or anything. I just don’t have any thing negative to say this time around, alright? Fair?

The 5 Worst Dressed at the 2013 SAG Awards

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Is it me, or are the bad dresses always the most fun? Because personally? I think the bad dresses are always most fun. And you know what’s also kind of fun? That two ‘Big Bang Theory’ stars showed up to the SAGs looking like a basket of beat ass. Well, wait. To be fair, Johnny Galecki (who took the number one worst dressed spot, along with his girlfriend, Kelli Garner) showed up to the SAGs looking like a basket of beat (greasy) ass, while Kaley Cuoco, in the number five slot, looked … well, she looked comical. Cartoonish, even. And also, that big hair of hers makes her head look huge. Coming from someone who has a big head herself, I can tell you: one thing you never want to do is tease your crown, because it’s going to look like … well, that. Yike.

Here’s the rest of the worst dressed!

#4 – Anne Hathaway
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#3 – Jane Lynch
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#2 – Sigourney Weaver
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#1 – Johnny Galecki and his girlfriend, who is not Courtney Love, despite the uncanny resemblance
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The 5 Best Dressed at the 2013 SAG Awards

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Man, if there’s something I love, it’s the awards season fashion that just dumps on us this time of year. I mean, what a gorgeous bunch of women in gorgeous dresses—I almost can’t even take it. It’s like Christmas morning when I can go ahead and make these lists.

Above, you saw Elisabeth Moss, who was number five on the list—the remaining four follow. Weigh in with your opinions in the comments!

#4 – Nicole Kidman
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#3 – Claire Danes
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#2 – Katrina Bowden
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#1 – Marion Cotillard
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Jennifer Lawrence’s Dress Fell Apart at the SAGs

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Hey, look! While Jennifer Lawrence was accepting her award for Best Female Actor, her dress came undone! Can you even believe it? I can, because that dress was mad weird and unstable-looking from the get-go, and while it’s always good publicity (for the most part) when a celebrity has a wardrobe malfunction (unless you’re Anne Hathaway), it’s probably not good when it makes the dress you’re wearing look super cheap and flimsy (it’s not; it’s a Christian Dior and his stuff’s not all that inexpensive, you know).

What a great look for girlfriend, huh? Bless her little heart.

Here’s what the dress looked like before it all went to shit: