Okay, who here knew that Ashton Kutcher has a twin brother? They’re completely fraternal and look nothing alike (as you’ll see below), but Michael, the lesser known Kutcher, gave an interview to US Weekly recently in which he gushed about his impending unclehood, his future sister-in-law and how Ashton and Mila Kunis are totally meant to be and are like Ross and Rachel (from Friends, obviously) – they just took a 14 year break.
“My sister and Ashton are both expecting—it’s so exciting for the whole family!” Michael told Us. “Ashton and Mila are so excited to be parents.” The rest of the Kutcher clan is pretty thrilled, too. “I have a 9-year-old myself, and a 4-year-old, and there’s a 16-year-old in the family,” he said. “We’re so excited to expand the cousins of the new generation.”
So will the whole family be at the Two and a Half Men actor’s wedding to Kunis, 30? “I don’t really know. Obviously we have to hold some of that stuff close to the vest, but it’s going to be amazing,” Michael told Us. “I mean, I love Mila.”
“Those two reunited after 14 years, and I think they were meant to be,” he continued of the pair, who first met as costars on the sitcom That ’70s Show. “It’d be like Ross and Rachel getting married [from Friends], like David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston getting married!” he quipped.
“They make such a great couple,” he added of his brother and his brother’s fiancee. “I’m so happy for them, I really am. Ashton is in a really great place right now.”
Aw, that’s sweet. They’re definitely nothing like Ross and Rachel (how dare you slander their names!) but I do think they strangely kinda work together, and I dig Mila and feel like she’s a pretty logical person, so I’m guessing Ashton isn’t as big of a tool as he is sometimes portrayed (or portrays himself).
Here’s Michael and who I think is his new wife. For the record, Michael was born with cerebral palsy and has done a lot of campaigning for the cause (this photo was taken at an event for it):
June 25, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Ashton Kutcher is going to be a father soon, so it’s comforting to hear that he seems like a genuinely good guy who’s always willing (though perhaps not particularly able) to help those in need. You see, Ashton helped a motorist whose battery needed a jump in the Hollywood Hills this weekend… though not without a bit of trouble first.
The driver tells us … his car battery died while he and his group were hiking in the Hollywood Hills … so they pushed the whip to a nearby street and tried flagging down anyone who would stop.
Ashton was driving down the street when he spotted the group … pulled over and was asked if he could help jump start their car. Problem was — he had a passenger and said he had to drop her off at home but he would return. The group thinks the passenger was Mila Kunis.
Shockingly … Kutcher came back and got down to work, trying to jump start the battery. But first things first … he opened his hood and had big trouble finding his own battery … because it’s in the trunk! Ashton eventually accomplished his mission.
All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
May 26, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Ashton Kutcher has wasted no time moving on from Demi Moore after their divorce, and he’s now engaged and expecting a baby with Mila Kunis. While Demi has sorta kinda moved on with different dudes, apparently she’s still smarting from her relationship with Ashton and will be meditating the pain away when he decides to tie the knot.
From Radar Online:
“Demi knows she’ll have to endure hearing about the affair — which Ashton is telling mutual friends will be huge and full of A-list Hollywood and tech friends — and seeing pictures. But the wound is still fresh from their divorce and Demi doesn’t want anything to trigger a relapse.”
Moore is banking on details from her daughter Rumer Willis, who remains close with Kutcher.
“When she gets word, either through mutual friends or Rumer, about the exact date, she’s booking a trip to the yogic spiritual center of India, Rishikesh, where she’ll submerge herself in days of waking at 4 a.m., chanting, meditation, yoga by the Ganges River, light eating of only meager portions of vegan foods and dressing in saffron colored robes,” the source revealed.
“She’ll be cut off from all technology including phones, Internet and TV, so she’ll be able to avoid the whole thing.”
And her getaway isn’t just reserved for the wedding. “She plans a similar, though less intense and far away retreat to coincide with the birth of their child in October,” the source added.
Kinda fucked up that Demi is the one who comes out of this whole thing being painted like some sad sack who can’t get her shit together because ASHTON KUTCHER, the guy who hosted Punk’d, is not her husband anymore. I mean, I’m sure he’s different privately than he is as a public persona, and the heart wants what it wants and all that, but come on.
I’m on Team Demi here, and if she wants to do whip its and lose her damn mind, leave her to it!
April 21, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
From US Weekly:
“This is something they both wanted,” one insider tells Us. “They are both so happy.”
Another source says Kutcher is “very happy” with the news of his fiancee’s pregnancy, although he still remains resolutely private about his personal life. “Ashton has been very private and cut off more than he usually is,” the insider tells Us. But, the Two and a Half Men star has been chatting with a longtime pal who is newly-familiar with fatherhood.
Dear God, think about this: Ashton Kutcher is going to be someone’s father. The Punk’d guy. A baby. Let your mind wrap itself around that.
I guess this is all very exciting for the two of them, though, so, uh, congrats to the happy couple?
March 24, 2014 at 10:03 am by Jennifer
… Or at least it appears that way. Mila Kunis was spotted with a ring on THAT finger, so of course that means that Ashton Kutcher proposed, right? That’s how this whole thing works? No one that ACTUALLY knows has confirmed this news, but all the big mags seem to be unanimous in their reporting that Mila and Ashton are headed down the aisle ASAP.
From US Weekly:
Get ready for a downright gorgeous Hollywood bride and groom, because Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are ready to wed! The couple of nearly two years are engaged, a source confirms to Us Weekly. “She is crazy about him!” the source adds. The Jupiter Ascending actress dropped a subtle hint while shopping with her mom at The Grove in L.A. on Thursday, Feb. 27; she wore a baggy white sweater, jeans, sunglasses . . . and a noticeable ring on her engagement finger.
Cool! Is this like how John Mayer and Katy Perry were planning a June wedding cos she had that ring on, only now they’ve actually broken up? I mean, there was 100% accuracy in that story, so I imagine this is the same, right?
Who knows – I suppose there could be some truth to this story. Mila and Ashton have been together for a while and it seems like something in the realm of possibility, but I think everyone needs to just calm down with the wedding speculation for now.
February 28, 2014 at 5:30 am by Jennifer
Oh God, this is STILL HAPPENING. Charlie Sheen wasn’t so pleased when Ashton Kutcher took his place on Two and a Half Men THREE YEARS AGO, but while most people would have long ago left that nonsense behind, Charlie’s STILL talking about it and trying to drag Ashton via Twitter every once in a while (when he’s drunk/high on cocaine?). Look, Two and a Half Men is a misogynistic shitshow with the worst, most unbelievable, most ridiculous plotlines I’ve ever seen. One time I was watching something on CBS that came on after it and caught the tail end (so to speak) of an episode in which Ashton and Jon Cryer’s characters were working out between them how they were gonna have a threesome with Cryer’s girlfriend (who really wanted a piece of Ashton) without their dongs touching. That’s quality TV there. Charlie Sheen needs to get a grip (and that show needs to be canceled).
Anyhow, Ashton was asked about the mini feud on Jimmy Kimmel Live, to which he replied:
“Dude, shut the fuck up! Seriously, like. Enough already. Like it’s like three years later and you’re still blowing me up on Twitter. Like come on dude, really?”
Charlie caught wind of that and took to Twitter to make amends (seemingly), posting the following on Twitter:
Ashton message received. so sorry u sounded like me! well done! my bad I was pissed at other crap & took it out on you. hope u r good xox c
— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 6, 2014
However, he changed his mind two hours later and posted this:
but news flash Dood, you ever tell me to shut the F*** up, EVER again, and I'll put you on a hospital food diet for a year. c #YaFeelMe Jr?
— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 6, 2014
Oh, Charlie. Lay off the coke, brother.