I say “one last time” not because they’re breaking up (I’m just not that lucky of a person, guys), but because unless something extraordinary happens to … well, happen (you know, like more public groping and/or pulling shit out of significant others’ asses), I’m just out of stories about my one celebrity love, Adrien Brody, and his silly, empty-faced girlfriend, Lara Leito.
Anyway. Whatever. This is Adrien and That Girl, spending oodles of time together while Adrien films his latest movie, Whatever It Is, because luckily for Adrien, That Girl has no real job or obligations and can just sit around and comb her long, stupid hair and eat bon bons or what-the-f-ck ever while Adrien films and is productive and lets her use his super-extra large-venti platinum credit card for purchases like sparkly feather boas, “Party Like a Rockstar” t-shirts, and cases of cheap glitter nail polish, because DUH quantity over QUALITY because you just never do know when this relationship is going to end and That Girl will have to go back to her mom’s roach-infested apartment in Encino or wherever and back to eating ramen noodles for dinner every damn night.
Whatever. I’m not bitter.