“If it doesn’t hurt the first time, I’ll keep popping them out!”
– Good ol’ Katy Perry reveals her ideology on giving birth.
This sounds like pretty solid logic to me! How many kids do you think Katy will end up popping out? I mean, I’m aware of the “man, that whole ‘pushing a child out of your body’ sure does hurt a lot” mindset, but I’ve also heard a couple ladies say that it wasn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be (and I cannot comment on the quantity or quality of drugs they may have been on at the time). Wouldn’t it be great if Katy was one of those ladies? Then she and Russell Brand would have a zillion kids and a few times a year or so Katy would put on the pink hair and some preposterous outfit and say “watch them babies, Russ, Mama’s gotta go shoot whipped cream out her boobies!” And then Russell takes a quiet moment to himself while the children are screaming and running around the house to meditate on what exactly he’s done.
Or maybe Katy will give birth once and throw in the towel because goddamn this hurts. I don’t know. The unpredictably is what makes it fun!