Remember that time that Sarah compiled a list of her ten hottest men and let you guys vote for the absolute hottest? Wasn’t that fun? I thought so, and ever since she posted it, I’ve been doing my best to come up with my own list. There’s a slight difference – I’m going with “attractive” guys instead of “hot” guys. I’m defining attractive guys as dudes who you’d be cool to hang out with after banging them. Got it? All right, then let’s go ahead and get started, and you can vote afterwards.
10. Simon Woods
Um, he played Bingley in Keira Knightley’s Pride and Prejudice? Remember? Also, he’s a beautiful ginger, and you know how I feel about the gingers. I hope you like them too, otherwise you might not enjoy this list too much.
9. Gaspard Ulliel
He was the guy who played Hannibal in Hannibal Rising and made you feel super awkward for lusting after a serial killer. That wasn’t just me, right?
8. Casey Abrams
We talked about him a couple weeks ago, but I’m not done yet. You watch that video, and if you don’t find him at least a little bit attractive, then you need to get yourself evaluated, because all is not well.
7. Andrew McMahon
Jack’s Mannequin, right? I get a lot of flack for this from my hipster friends, but I like Jack’s Mannequin better than Something Corporate. Don’t get me wrong, I love both, but there’s just something so special about Jack’s Mannequin. Also, a ginger playing his heart out on a piano? It really doesn’t get much more attractive for me, you guys.
6. Gabe Saporta
I love the fuck out of Cobra Starship, and I’m not afraid to admit that. And Gabe Saporta is a gorgeous man, but he’s also ridiculously awesome: he’s so awesome that Pete Wentz has his face tattooed on his leg.
5. Seth Rogen
Last weekend this guy took me to see Paul, that movie where Seth voices an alien? And we were chatting, and he was like “do you like Seth Rogen?” and I was like “yeah.” But it wasn’t like a casual “yeah,” it was this weird throaty “yeah” that revealed way too many of my impure thoughts. It was a good movie though.
4. Paul Bettany
Was anyone else’s adolescence shaped by Paul Bettany in A Knight’s Tale as much as mine was? That is to say, did anyone else watch that movie and then read The Canterbury Tales looking for answers that your 13-year-old brain couldn’t form the questions to?
3. Johnny Knoxville
I don’t care what sorts of shenanigans he gets into in his movies, I will never stop loving Johnny Knoxville. All grossness from Jackass aside, he’s a pretty handsome dude, right? Also, he’s from Knoxville, and what kind of girl would I be if I didn’t represent my home turf?
2. Hugh Laurie
Do I really need to explain myself here? At this point in time, we’ve all seen an episode of House, right? We’ve all heard his music? I think all that speaks for itself.
1. Zach Galifianakis
Are you surprised? Then you obviously don’t read this blog that regularly, because I’ve stated time and again that Zach is my one true love. He’s funny, talented, and actually pretty beautiful.