Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Look, It’s Macaulay Culkin!

[Image removed on request] Here is the most recent photo available of Macaulay Culkin, alleged heroin addict with six months to live. The photo was taken on Friday while he was headed down to Lindsay's favorite place on earth, Chateau Marmont. And doesn't he just look so much better? That's what people are saying. Really, people are saying that Macaulay looks way better here than he did the last time we saw him. And I'm sorry, but no, no he does not. Just because this photo was taken from a greater distance than the last one, and just because he's wearing sunglasses so we can't see his creepy eyes does not mean that he's looking better. He still looks like he's wasting away, he still looks too pale to be healthy (even for Macaulay Culkin), but the thing that really gives it away? You'll have to look very closely to see it, except you won't, because he's clutching his stomach and he looks like he's about to vomit everywhere and/or pass out and/or literally cough up a lung. I think that's the real hint that no, he doesn't look so much better actually. So where do you guys stand now? Does this guy look like a heroin addict to you? Or could Macaulay be dry heaving in this picture because he just saw Lindsay Lohan? />[Image removed on request] Here is the most recent photo available of Macaulay Culkin, alleged heroin addict with six months to live. The photo was taken on Friday while he was headed down to Lindsay's favorite place on earth, Chateau Marmont. And doesn't he just look so much better? That's what people are saying. Really, people are saying that Macaulay looks way better here than he did the last time we saw him. And I'm sorry, but no, no he does not. Just because this photo was taken ...

Kim Kardashian Is So Proud to Be The Perfect Bitch

A photo of Kim Kardashian Understandably so, right? "The Perfect Bitch" is a beautiful title to have, something that would really make your resume pop. And the romance behind it is ... it's just staggering, honestly. And Kim, naturally, is just being so modest about about it all! From TMZ: Kim is telling friends, "I'm honored.  I love it," adding, "I know he doesn't mean it in a negative way when he says the word 'bitch.'" Yesterday, Kayne tweeted, "I wrote the song 'Perfect Bitch' about Kim."  Interestingly, ...

Katie Holmes Is Totally Miserable Without Tom Cruise

A photo of Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise PSYCHE! Really she's insanely happy because she's finally free. She's got a Tom Cruise sized weight off her shoulders, and she is just footloose and fancy free these days. Awesome, right? From Radar: Katie Holmes has been living “blissfully happy” since her split from Tom Cruise, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. According to a family insider, Holmes, 33, is wearing a smile on her face that hasn’t been seen since she began dating the Rock of Ages star, 50. And she ...

Do You Want to Hear The Worst Song Ever?

A photo of Farrah Abraham Do you recognize that lady up there? That's Farrah Abraham, she's on Teen Mom. If you're familiar with her, then you'll really enjoy this, but if you're not, you'll still be able to appreciate it. See, she just released the worst song in the history of music. And I know, in this world of Justin Bieber songs and Rebecca Black songs, how could this be the absolute worst? Just you wait. The song is called "Finally Getting Up from Rock Bottom," which I think just adds to its horriblene...

Love It or Leave It: Selena Gomez Is Not Always Glamorous

A photo of Selena Gomez It might be hard to believe that someone like Selena Gomez doesn't look stylish and put together at all times: after all, she's got a mighty fine man to keep interested! But this photo is clearly proof that even stars can look a hot mess from time to time. And goodness me, she looks like a burning hot mess. No bra. A tight, unflattering night dress looking thing. And that hair. I can't even say anything about that hair. It's just all too much. But you know what? I kind of love it. ...

Miley Needed More Blonde, Y’all!

A photo of Miley Cyrus When Miley Cyrus debuted her new blonde hair last month, I think I might have actually let out a sigh of relief. Because I hated her hair before. I know that ombre business or whatever is supposed to be really trendy right now, but just because it's popular doesn't mean I have to like it. And I think it looked especially not ok on Miley. I'm sorry, but I just thought it was awful. The blonde was so much better. It looks like Miley agrees with that, because over the weekend, she went ...

Details on Natalie Portman’s Wedding

A photo of Natalie Portman From People: The wedding between Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied reflected not just the bride's Jewish faith and the groom's French nationality, but also the couple's outlook on the world. Instead of having flowers flown in, the ceremony featured wildflowers indigenous to the Big Sur coast where the ceremony took place, and instead of "fish or steak" the menu was strictly vegan in keeping with the bride's diet. Portman, 31, chose a traditional white gown from Rodarte, the sam...

Macaulay Culkin Put Down The Heroin Long Enough to Attend Natalie Portman’s Wedding

A photo of Macaulay Culkin That picture, by the way, isn't recent, it's from two years ago. I just got sick of using that sad picture of the skinny, strung out (allegedly) Macaulay Culkin. But also, it has Kieran Culkin in the background there, and Kieran is by far my favorite Culkin. But anyway, here's that news about how Macaulay showed up at Natalie Portman's wedding: Macaulay Culkin wasn't home alone on Saturday night. The reclusive 31-year-old actor was among the 100 guests at Natalie Portman's wedding to Benjamin Millepied at a private residence in Big Sur, Calif.,...

Love It or Leave It: Vanessa Hudgens, Bless Her Heart

A photo of Vanessa Hudgens You know, we really can't blame Vanessa Hudgens for this atrocity of an ensemble. When your claims to fame are being Zac Efron's former soulmate and a leaked nudey picture scandal, and when both of those things happened years ago, you have to do what you can to generate some press. It doesn't look like Disney is going to make another High School Musical movie any time soon, so Vanessa has clearly decided to stay in the spotlight by wearing the most horrendous clothes she can find. Good for you, Vaness...

Jodie Foster Has Kristen Stewart’s Back

A photo of Jodie Foster Do you remember that movie Panic Room? It was that movie - and this thorough synopsis is purely from memory, by the way - about the woman and her daughter who moved into this new house that had a panic room, and they were both like "huh?" but then some dudes tried to break in and they were both like "f-ck yeah, panic room!" The woman, of course, was Jodie Foster, but that daughter was a little bitty baby Kristen Stewart! And even though that movie was filmed about ten years ago, Jodie and ...

Quotables: Roseanne Got Roasted

A photo of Roseanne "In 1985, Roseanne went on Johnny Carson, which is every comic's dream back then. She killed, he laughed his ass off, he gave her a thumbs up and he invited her to sit on his couch. She got validation from the king which can never be taken away from her. And I just want to say, Rosanne, you were my Johnny Carson. And thank you for the thumbs up and thank you for inviting me to sit on your couch for a little bit." - Tom Arnold, Roseanne's ex-husband, took a break from the comedy to be incre...

You Will Not Believe What I’m About to Tell You About Amanda Bynes

A photo of Amanda Bynes What I'm about to tell you goes against everything we've previously thought about Amanda Bynes. That widely held belief that she's one of the most responsible, upstanding citizens in Hollywood? Poof, it's going right out the window. So if you want to keep living the dream, friends, then please don't read any further. For there is a monster at the end of this book, and her name is Amanda. Amanda Bynes hit a car. With her car. I know. From TMZ: A Los Angeles woman filed a police r...