Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sorry About the Whole ‘Two Kardashian Posts in One Day’ Thing

Although I suppose we should be broadening the parameters to include week, month, year, and – oh! right – ever.

Let’s just do this one by the numbers, shall we?

At the :13 mark, I just love how Khloe almost biffs and heads down the steps. That are about two and a half inches in rise. Love you girl!

:27. Kris Jenner makes me want to punch small, furry animals in the face. Hard.

:30. Yup. Still wanting to punch small, furry animals in the face.

:35. Any particular reason we’ve had to endure so much of Kris Jenner’s f-cking geriatric shimmying? Anyone?

:47. OF COURSE Kim‘s main lyric is “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir.” You know what that means, people who don’t speak French? It means WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT. Tramp.

1:04. My four-year-old just asked me why that lady was wiping her bum on the steps. I told her because she was a nasty, nasty lady.

1:10. What’s with the slo-mo hair whipping?

1:20. That’s as low as Kim can go? Doubt it.

1:28. Looks like an excerpt from Kim’s sex tape. Just with clothes and no F-list black man who’d later be partially responsible for the death of Whitney Houston.

Did I miss anything? Covered it all, did I?

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