0Kim Kardashian Breaks Silence on Motherhood: “It’s Crazy”

Kim Kardashian has never really been a woman of words – at least not words anyone cared about hearing, that is. Still, she’s remained bizarrely silent since giving birth to America’s Kanye West‘s baby on Saturday nearly 5 weeks ahead of schedule, making everyone that much more hungry for details about the nameless child. Well, you’re not getting any of those, and you’re not even really getting a statement from Kimmypie, but what you will get is a sentence she apparently wrote in an email, as dictated by Ryan Seacrest. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, PEOPLE!

From Ryan’s KIIS-FM show:

E! News’ Ken Baker phoned in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to share that despite giving birth five weeks early, both baby and mom are healthy.

“This was not planned,” he explains. “It came on very quickly and when it was time for the baby to come, it was time for the baby to come.” Ken adds that the moment was so unexpected, “the whole family was [even] dispersed all over the place.”However, Ken confirms: “[The baby] is healthy and Kim is doing well … There’s a great sense of relief. Everyone is very happy for her and Kim is relieved [because] this was a very stressful time.”So now that her daughter is here, how does Kim feel about being a mom?Ryan shared he emailed her moments after she gave birth, saying, “Yay! Congrats my darling, you’re a mommy!” and that she responded: “Cant believe it! It’s so crazy!”

I love that Kim had time to get on email after giving birth. Because, you know, can’t miss those bids pouring in from People and US Weekly – gotta figure out which to sell the kid’s first pictures to, after all.

To be fair, I’m sure motherhood is “crazy”, but she’d better start believing it soon… unless of course the nanny’s are gonna raise this thing, which seems likely. That’s a random nanny, by the way, not The Nanny, Fran Drescher (though how great would that be?). I’ll show myself out.

June 19, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

5Baby Kimye Doesn’t Have a Name Yet

Apparently Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t been able to agree on a ridiculous enough K-name for their first child, or so the story goes. I have it on good authority that they actually HAVE chosen a name and if our ~source~ is right, it’s horrendous, so let’s hope People got it right and a birth certificate has yet to be printed.

“She was admitted with medical complications and her doctor made the decision that her baby needed to be delivered. Kim had a natural birth,” the source says. “If Kim would have had very serious complications, her doctor would have decided to do an emergency c-section instead.”

As for the baby girl’s name, Kardashian, 32, has mentioned in the past that it will likely begin with a ‘K,’ but so far, she and West, 36, remain undecided, although a second source tells PEOPLE that they are close to a final decision.

“Kim is being very protective of the baby and she says there is no official name,” the first source notes.

LOL I guess we’re gonna keep playing the “Kim delivered naturally” game for the rest of our days, but whatever. I’ve lived with worse lies (suuuuure, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson totally didn’t have an affair during The X-Files!) so I can deal with this. If she did have medical issues that required a C-section – or even if she just chose to have one – why not just say that shit? Ain’t no shame when it comes to the miracle baby.

Any wagers on the name?

June 18, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

9Baby Kimye Is a Miracle!

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s baby girl doesn’t even have a name yet (well, you know what I mean), but she’s already the talk of the town. And by “the town”, of course I mean every gossip site and entertainment publication ever. Even Kim’s sister Khloe has gotten in on the fun, giving a “statement” about what  “miracle” her new niece is and letting us know that more information will be revealed “when the time is right“. So basically, when a magazine writes a check with a number that looks good to them, eh?

June 17, 2013 at 2:33 pm by Jennifer

7Will Baby Kimye Make Her Debut On ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’?

Well, America’s William & Kate ruined a child’s life by welcoming their first baby on Saturday in Los Angeles nearly five weeks ahead of schedule (‘cos don’t even play me and try to say homegirl delivered naturally). While we still don’t know baby Kimye’s name, we’re already talking about where she’ll make her exclusive debut, with many guessing that she’ll show up on Keeping Up with the Kardashians since the show is still filming for the next few months. Oh, goody!

From Deadline:

Her sex was revealed on the Season 8 premiere of E!‘s Keeping Up With The Kardashians less than two weeks ago. And now the baby daughter of series’ star Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Kanye West, born today in Los Angeles, will likely make her debut on the hit reality series later this season. Keeping Up With The Kardashians is currently in production and is slated to continue filming for another couple of months. But unlike the lavish special on Kardashian’s ill-fated wedding to Kris Humphries, the youngest member of the Kardashian clan is not getting her own E! special, at least not for now.

According to a rep for E!, the network will air the previously scheduled Episode 3 of the show’s eighth season tomorrow night and there are no immediate plans for a baby special. The extent of newborn’s presence on Keeping Up also is unclear as father West has vowed never to appear on the show again and recently told the NYT that he will be protective of his child, claiming that she “isn’t America’s baby.” The girl’s arrival also coincides with new grandma Kris Jenner‘s promo campaign for the July 15 launch of her syndicated talk show and is likely to give her appearances a boost.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are both the worst in their own unique ways, but I’m actually torn on what’s going to happen here. Kim lives for reality TV and being seen and will no doubt want to paste baby Kimye’s face on every surface going, so it seems naturally that she’ll be on the show. Kanye is vehemently against any of this shit, which begs the question of why the hell they got together in the first place and what they actually have in common when their core values are so starkly different (supposedly).

What do you think? Will this baby be on the show or will they give an exclusive premiere to People or something first? Will Kanye succeed in keeping the baby out of the public eye?

June 16, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer

6UPDATE: Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Are Parents Now

UPDATE 12:45PM PST: TMZ reports: Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby girl … TMZ has learned.

Sources close to KK tell TMZ the baby and Kim are both in good health. We’re told Kim delivered the baby at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this morning … 5 weeks sooner than originally planned.

Our sources say BF Kanye West was there for the entire thing. We’re told Kanye cancelled his appearance at his own record release party last night when Kim told him she was feeling “a little off.”

Oh, snap – it might just be the moment of truth! According to The Daily Mail (so… grain of salt, maybe?), Kim Kardashian is currently in labour, just about to give birth to baby Kimye! She’s said to be in that privately rented birthing suite at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills after being admitted earlier this morning (Saturday, June 15).

Here’s what little we know:

Kim Kardashian has reportedly gone into labour with her first child.

A source told Mail Online that the 32-year-old, who is in the last stages of her pregnancy, has been admitted to a hospital in Beverly Hills on Saturday morning.

The reality star has reportedly taken out a birthing suite at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center — a hospital of choice among many celebrities including Britney Spears, Victoria Beckham and Jessica Simpson.

No further details have been released.

June 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm by Jennifer

6Kanye West’s Reps Say Cheating Claims Are “Malicious”

You’ve all heard the story by now: Mr. Influential – otherwise known as Kanye West – has apparently been cheating on pregnant Kim Kardashian with some 24-year-old Canadian “model” named Leyla Ghobadi. She, of course, came to the press with the claims and is probably just a fame whore to rival Kim herself. After all, she was paid $20,000 for her “story” by Star Magazine.

Shit that’s so preposterous and has no credibility is generally ignored, and yet Kanye’s reps have hit back at the story, calling it “malicious” and insisting that Leyla just wants to hurt the couple. LOL.

From US Weekly:

“This most recent attack on Kanye West and his family is totally without merit,” his rep tells Us Weeklyin a statement. “It’s a blatant attempt by a misguided individual who is clearly seeking publicity, and another in a series of malicious stories drummed up by non-credible ‘news’ sources.”

“This is a sad attempt to hurt two people trying to live their lives,” the rep adds of parents-to-be West and Kardashian, who are set to welcome a baby girl in July.

I don’t know that this girl is trying to “live their lives” – she just wants an easy payday and obviously doesn’t give a shit either way about how it affects them privately. That’s the same thing even if she DID sleep with Kanye – it wasn’t ‘cos she was desperate for The D, it’s because the dollar signs popped into her eyes the minute the situation arose. Seriously.

June 13, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer