1Khloe Kardashian Admits What We All Knew: Kim Is Kris Jenner’s Favorite Daughter

They say when you have multiple children that you should (and usually do) love them all equally, though in different ways. I imagine this unspoken rule is null and void, though when one of your kids puts out a sex tape that puts your entire family on the map and manages to pull in more money for you in a week than your other kids do in a year, combined. Such is the case with Kris Jenner and her brood – Khloe, Kim, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie… and Rob. We like to forget about Rob whenever we can.

Khloe Kardashian appears on the cover of the new issue of Cosmopolitan, and her interview is… vaguely depressing. It’s probably meant to be enlightening, but it’s pretty obvious that momager Kris favours Kim over the other girls. You gotta treat your cash cow right, don’t you?

“I’d never manage my kids. We gang up on Mom and that has to be so hard. Now I’m getting older I feel sorry for her rather than resent her.

“[Once my mom told me] I was gaining weight, but she was talking to me as a manager, like I was ruining a brand deal. It’s hard to understand that and it’s more hurtful when it’s coming from my mom, but Kim is definitely her favorite.

“It doesn’t bother me. They’re so similar – they could be the same person.”

I know it seems like she doth protest too much (and seriously, who WOULDN’T care if your siblings were favoured over you?), but maybe since it’s Kris, Khloe is being honest here. After all, the most attention Kris has ever given her was when she was begging her to take a DNA test to find out whether or not she was actually  a Kardashian or a by-product of her old ass affair. This whole family just needs to stop.

May 1, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

0Khloe Kardashian’s Too Busy for ‘The X Factor’, Says Worst Liar (and Mother) Kris Jenner

Khloe Kardashian was sacked from The X Factor earlier this week, and we all know why: she sucked at hosting. It’s just that simple. Well, that and her mother Kris Jenner kept sticking her nose in where it didn’t belong and was harassing Simon Cowell to fire Mario Lopez (who also sucks, but at least he still has a job).

Anyway, instead of letting Khloe be fired with dignity, Kris is still flapping her gums and in the process making herself and Khloe look even worse, claiming that Khloe doesn’t have time to host The X Factor because she has so much else going on in her life. Oooookay.

From E! News:

“Khloé had such a good time and she wasn’t sure if she was going to come back or not, so I think that with everything going on and the other three shows she’s working on, it just worked out for the best,” Kris tells us of Khloé’s departure from the Fox show. “Everything happens for a reason, but she was in love with her experience and had such a good time.”

And Kris had nothing but kind words for the X Factor team, saying, “I hope everyone continues to watch and it’s such a great show. I’m sure they’ll be just fine!”

April 25, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

1Khloe Karadshian Still Thinks She’s Fat, But Doesn’t Care All That Much Anymore

Khloe Kardashian has always got stick for her weight, being the “fat” one of the Kardashian sisters three. Kourtney is the thin one, Kim is the one with the ass and Khloe just needed to hit the elliptical. I don’t really know where all that nonsense came from (uh, the media, I guess?) but the girl is far from fat. She’s got curves and is an average size woman who looks good – the best out of the three of them, if I may.

In any case, all of the criticism has been hard on poor Khlo-Khlo, who has tried numerous diets over the years and still can’t get to a weight the tabloids deem acceptable. The whole thing is, she’s sort of stopped trying, finally.

From On Air with Ryan Seacrest:

“I definitely don’t deprive myself. I try to eat. If I want to eat something, I’ll try to eat it earlier in the day.”

“My problem is I go to a basketball game [with Lamar Odom] every other day and you don’t think, ‘Oh, let me just have a handful of that caramel corn’. You really don’t think about how much it does add up. You leave there at 11pm – and sometimes Lamar [Odom] and I will go to dinner after. You just have to pay attention.”

Well, yes – paying attention to what you put into your body is good advice for any living being and girl, no one blames you for hitting up that caramel corn. Caramel corn is delicious. Besides, you’re gonna need to do some comfort eating after Mario Lopez was picked over you for The X Factor.

April 23, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

2X Factor To Khloe Kardashian: Thanks, But No Thanks

Khloe Kardashian got dumped by X Factor, probably because she is not entertaining and doesn’t provide anything interesting to anyone in any way ever. From MTV:

Producers have confirmed that the Kardashian sister will no longer host the series, but co-host Mario Lopez will be back for another go-round. “We really enjoyed working with her and wish her all the best in her future endeavors,” a spokesperson for the show said in a statement.

Classic breakup line. Classic.

Simon Cowell said that he’s excited to welcome [Mario] Lopez back to the show along with returning judge Demi Lovato. “I’m thrilled Mario is back for season three of ‘The X Factor.’ Hosting a live show and keeping the judges — especially Demi — in line is not an easy job, but Mario is a pro and we are glad he’s coming back,” he said.

The network has not revealed whether someone will replace Kardashian or whether the show will revert to a single-host format. British TV presenter Steve Jones hosted the show solo when it premiered in the U.S. back in 2011.

Maybe she can go cry about it on her mom’s new talk show.

April 22, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

9Pregnancy Has Dulled Kim Kardashian’s Brain Even Further

In case you missed it, Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West‘s baby. Don’t care? How dare you! This is meant to be the most important child since the birth of Blue Ivy Carter, so get with the program. Or, you know, don’t. Kim and sisters Khloe and Kourtney chatted with Ryan Seacrest on a new E! special (via DigitalSpy), where Kim revealed that pregnancy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and warned sister Khloe – who’s desperate to have a baby with husband Lamar Odom but has had some fertility issues – off the whole affair.

‘I’ll call [Khloe] and say ‘Don’t do it! You’re so lucky’,’ she said.

X Factor USA co-host Khloe said that her sister has been urging her and husband Lamar Odom to use a surrogate or adopt instead, saying: “[Kim says] ‘I hate this!’”

“I’ve had a lot of pain, everywhere. I’m in pain, physically,” Kim added. “I get really paranoid [and] I start Googling things, the things that come up are really scary. It just freaks me out all the time.

“I was waiting for this amazing experience where I can just do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, feel great, and it hasn’t been that way.”

Yeah, because the first thing your sister who can’t conceive wants to hear is that she’s so lucky she’s not able to because carrying Kanye Jr has been such an ordeal for you – which, knowing Kim, means that she’s upset that eating ice cream and french fries for three meals a day made her pack on the pounds. God help this kid.

April 22, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

7Russell Brand Loses It for Good, Jokes About Wanting a Kardashian Foursome

Russell Brand might be a generally cool dude, but he’s also a f-cking weirdo who says some bizarre shit sometimes that makes me wonder what in the hell he was thinking, if he was indeed thinking anything at all. His latest foray into nonsense included joking about wanting a foursome with the Kardashians three – Kim, Kourtney and Khloe – and yes, that’s in spite of Kim being heavily pregnant (which seems to be even more of a turn on).

While guest hosting Chelsea Lately, the Kardashians interviewed Brand, during which he said (via DigitalSpy):

“I’m vulnerable to the concept of a KKK threesome,” Brand quipped, leading Khloe to say to the pregnant Kim: “Well, I heard pregnant p***y is the best p***y.”

The comedian went on to say: “I think pregnant women are radiant and beautiful and the idea of lactation is an interesting one.”

Brand went on to tease that his sexual experience with the Kardashian siblings would entail a “limitless, foaming river of milk and orgasm”.

Uh… I don’t consider myself to be easily grossed out, but that gave me shivers, and not in a good way. I mean, “the idea of lactation is an interesting one”?? Whatever floats your boat, bro, but keep it to yourself.

April 10, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer