Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Do Yourself A Favor And Watch Paris Hilton’s New Music Video

Are you having a bad day? Maybe you’re just having a sort of “blah” day. Hey, maybe you’re even having a good day, but you’re open to opportunities to make it even better. I can definitely respect all of those things, and I would like to present you the solution to all of those challenges.

It is “Drunk Text,” the latest musical masterpiece from world renowned musician, Paris Hilton.

The music is so haunting, and the story the song tells is so riveting. You won’t believe how emotionally invested you’ll get as Paris weaves a remarkable tale of partying, taking creepy photos up dancers’ skirts and sending them to gentlemen callers, and more partying. I don’t want to spoil the whole thing for you, but when she says that harrowing last line, you’ll get chills. It’s THAT GOOD.

What do you guys think? Wait, you don’t have to answer that, I know exactly what you’re thinking: when is this album coming out so I can listen to nothing else for the rest of my whole entire life?

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  • She stupid, drunk and drugged all the time.. and will probably say once upon a time in a lonely spirit dream, her beloved chihuahua’s ghost from doggie heaven gave her that song and verse to record.. She tried to get good response and failed.. try try again..

  • eh, I’ll pass on ever hearing or seeing that awful thing ever again! Who’s she kidding, she’s as much of a musician as I am (trust me, I’m horrible). At least I can admit it. Paris is so terrified of being irrelevant, she’s trying anything. Wait! she already is irrelevant..hahaha

  • Although I don’t qualify that as singing- it did vaguely remind me of something Irving Welsh would have written.