1. I learned that determination gives way to conquering any obstacle in my way. I think I knew this before, but I really proved it to myself in 2011 when I trained for and ran my first marathon! [Ed. Note: Because the thing the world really needs right now is an unstoppable Kate Gosselin who's out for MORE blood.]
2. I learned that team work in a large family is the most beautiful thing to watch :) and to be a part of! [Ed. Note: As long as she's the one heading up that team and enforcing law and order like a f-cking bizarre-ass Jerry Orbach, that is.]
3. I learned who my true friends are and was able to open up and meet new ones too! Trust is a really big issue for me. It always has been! This past year I took some good risks! [Ed. Note: If she's still talking about her bodyguard-boyfriend, I hardly think that can be constituted as "friends." I mean, to have "friends" there must be more than one, and if you're paying someone to watch your ass and wax your ass, then it sort of transcends the "friend" role, does it not?]
4. I realized that life is short and extended family is important. Different views, lack of trust and family drama has stopped me from connecting in the past, but late in the year, I was able to make teeny steps towards family reunion. [Ed. Note: I'm not quite sure who Kate means by "extended family," because she's alienated everyone in her immediate, nuclear family, and I can't imagine in-laws or cousins really having the burning desire to engage in this shitshow. Good luck reconnecting, girl!]
And by asking “or what,” I definitely mean “or plastic surgery,” because as far as I’m aware, no one ages in reverse – especially snaggly bitches who belittle their kids and husband in public for monetary gain.
Namely, the plastic surgery has a lot to do with facial fillers. Maybe something with her jaw. And definitely something with the bridge of her nose. I mean, what is that? Whatever she did to the skin/bone in that area positively makes her appear to be of Asian descent or something. Her eyes look so far apart now. All I know is that *something* is majorly different with Kate-girl‘s face, and I’m not going to be able to sleep ’til I figure out what it is. Now if they could only come up with some kind of personality surgery, Kate might be a tolerable person, you feel me?
Why, so she can get those babies good at entertainin’ for to move them out to Hollywood, o’ course! Yippee!
Yeah, but remember when Kate Gosselin said that she wanted to stay in show biz for a while? When she made the actual statement, she suggested that someone give her a talk show. It looks like that didn’t happen as planned though, because word on the street is that Kate’s all set on pimping her kids out for money and fame. Or, you know, pimping her kids out for money and fame again.
Money-hungry mom Kate Gosselin plans to enroll her eight kids in singing and acting classes, and then, after they sharpen their talents, move to Los Angeles, the Enquirer has learned.
“Kate’s ultimate goal is to get her kids into the entertainment business and manage their careers,” an insider told The Enquirer. “She’s looking into acting, singing and dancing classes near the family’s home in Pennsylvania. She wants to get the kids started in commercials by next year…”
Kate believes that she can be the mother of all stage moms, making big bucks by managing the kids’ careers, although she has yet to convince her ex-hubby, said the source.
“Jon’s been very outspoken about wanting to keep the children off TV,” the insider said.
“But Kate has slowly been talking him into it by promising to keep the spotlight off the kids’ personal lives. If she gets her way, the whole family will be hollywood bound by next year!”
Now that all of us plus Anderson Cooper plus her own kids hate Kate, do you think we can make some sort of citizen’s arrest? We have some extra lumber at my house from building the porch, I’m sure we can figure out how to make some stocks. That way we can lock Kate up in the town square and throw produce at her until she learns.
If these photos aren’t evidence enough, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you grew up with a homemade chocolate chip cookie-baking mom who wore aprons and pressed your pants every night before school, but Kate Gosselin is not that mom. Nope, guys, Kate Gosselin is the mom who constantly bitches and moans and though she shops for articles of clothing with names like Balenciaga, Ferragamo, and Fend and spends thousands on her hair, she makes her kids shop at Old Navy and then yells at them in public as they walk to the car, seemingly empty-handed.
According to The Gossip Girls:
Making for a less-than-pleasant departure, the reality mom was overheard yelling at her two eldest kids, resulting in a rather agitated atmosphere as the paparazzi loomed nearby.
“I think that people think that I’m like mommy dearest, like this horrendous person. Am I rosy and peachy and splendid all the time? I think everyone in this room could say ‘no.’ Sometimes, over two days of shooting for one episode and I have three crabby mommy moments. Well, guaranteed you’re going to see them all in a twenty two minute show. So of course that makes me look like I’m crabby mommy all the time.”
I actually think the reason that everyone hates Kate is because she’s just a bitch. And I might even go as far as to call her the c-word, but that’s probably just because I’ve been watching Jersey Shore so much. But Kate’s had a long history of bitching and moaning and putting herself before her eight kids, so that probably has something to do with our opinions of her as well. And you know, I’d never even considered the Mommy Dearest comparison, but I’ll be damned if I can get the idea of Kate screaming about wire hangers (“NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!”) out of my head. What about you?
For those of you who can’t watch the video for whatever reason, here’re the quotes from the interview.
“Uh, it’s really up to – uh, Kate to what she wants to do. I know what I have to do and how I have to provide for my family, um, and it’s, it’s growing up and that’s part of life.”
“Things will work out the way they should work out. Obviously there are families out there that have several kids, um, people work normal jobs, and things work out. Everything is possible. Um, to rely on reality television – that’s a misnomer. Reality television is not a career. Um, get back to normal life, simple life, provide for your family, and um, go from there.”
“Uh, yes I have the kids, um, I have my custody, I pay child support, uh, I’ve continued to pay child support.”
“That’s really up to Kate. I don’t have a farm with twenty-four acres, so, and the kids seem to have a good time at my house.”
“I go to work every day and provide for my family, uh, do the best I can, spend time with, uh, my kids. We have a great time on the weekend, and, you know, I spend time, you know, with my girlfriend I’ve had for over a year now and enjoy normal life like normal people.”
Isn’t life grand, folks? And pretty funny, sometimes, too? Lookin’ good, Jon!
“Hold on baby, first i wanna lick your asshole and get it ready for my cock!”. Spreading her cheeks apart, Selena’s shithole is revealed, all brown and crinkly. I spit, then tongue fuck her anus, as she wiggles her ass...
Actually, I like it. For once, her boobs aren’t busting out of her dress. I hate it when she wears dresses that only cover about 1/3 of her boobs. She looks ridiculous. But here she actually looks...
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