Oh man, I love the National Enquirer. Jest all you like, but half of the time they get their stories right and before anyone else. The other half of the time I think they just make shit up and I think this falls under that half.
Apparently Angelina Jolie told Brad Pitt that compared to Colin Farrell he sucks in bed and now Brad Pitt is an alcoholic or something.
Brad caught Angie red-handed, admitting that she thinks he’s a so-so lover. Ever since then, he’s been on a drunken rampage – consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine…he’s showed no signs of slowing down on the booze. He’s been drinking to forget about the image of Angie and Colin together.
One might ask, how did he catch her “red-handed”? Was she spray-painting “COLIN FARRELL IS BETTER AT SEX THAN BRAD PITT” on their garage? No. Allegedly Jolie was talking on the phone to ex Billy Bob Thornton while Pitt was out but then he forgot his wallet and then this scene from Beverly Hills, 90210 played out:
As he walked into their bedroom, Brad overheard Angie say that he was a great guy, but Colin was the best lover she’d ever had! Then Angie told Billy Bob that her love life with Brad had gone cold, and she missed the wild, passionate sex she’d had with Colin!
Who was there to know this private information? This is like when Charles Foster Kane died whispering his last words, “Rosebud” but the nurse was in the other room. Whatever, this is great, let’s just keep going with this. Brad “exploded” and,
Demanded that Angie tell him everything about her relationship with Colin. She told Brad that she fell in love with Colin because he was dangerous and spontaneous. She also copped to sending Colin sexy pictures, dirty voice-mails and sexually explicit letters during their fling. Angie admitted that she had hoped for a future, including marriage and kids, with Colin, but he wasn’t ready. She couldn’t deny to Brad that he was her second choice! […] she thrives on making him jealous.
So now Brad Pitt is all sad and not wanting to marry her, like ever, and is telling her she can’t talk to Colin Farrell.
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There was a blind vice for this!!!! I’ll find it tomorrow if someone else hasn’t.
This sounds like BS to me. Every part of this sounds improbable.
They make up the best stories about these two!
“One might ask, how did he catch her “red-handed”? Was she spray-painting “COLIN FARRELL IS BETTER AT SEX THAN BRAD PITT” on their garage?”
LOL! That made me chuckle. I’m glad this site got some new writers and got rid of a few of their old ones.
brad pitt is lookin a bit like Frank Gallagher (William H Macy) here – i guess it’s all the booze he’s drinking, ha!