Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Billy Bob Thornton

Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie still keep in touch

angelina jolie billy bob thornton

Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie were a match made in WTF-ness from the go, and it’s no surprise that their relationship didn’t last all that long. However, the split must’ve been pretty amicable, because apparently they still keep in touch all the time… according to Billy, anyway.

From YourTango:

YourTango: Are you in touch with Angelina?
Billy Bob Thornton:
Oh of course, yeah. She’s amazing, amazing. She’s got so much energy and so much goodness in her, and we check in on each other all the time. She makes sure I’m doing okay. I make sure she’s doing okay.

LOL, okay, how high on the bullshit meter is this one? I have nothing against Billy Bob and I’m sure he’s a lovely guy, but I just can’t see this one being true.

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Jolie Tells Pitt He Sucks In Bed; Pitt Gets Hammered

brad pitt angelina

Oh man, I love the National Enquirer. Jest all you like, but half of the time they get their stories right and before anyone else. The other half of the time I think they just make shit up and I think this falls under that half.

Apparently Angelina Jolie told Brad Pitt that compared to Colin Farrell he sucks in bed and now Brad Pitt is an alcoholic or something.

from The National Inquirer

Brad caught Angie red-handed, admitting that she thinks he’s a so-so lover. Ever since then, he’s been on a drunken rampage – consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine…he’s showed no signs of slowing down on the booze. He’s been drink­ing to forget about the image of Angie and Colin together.

One might ask, how did he catch her “red-handed”? Was she spray-painting “COLIN FARRELL IS BETTER AT SEX THAN BRAD PITT” on their garage? No. Allegedly Jolie was talking on the phone to ex Billy Bob Thornton while Pitt was out but then he forgot his wallet and then this scene from Beverly Hills, 90210 played out:

As he walked into their bedroom, Brad overheard Angie say that he was a great guy, but Colin was the best lover she’d ever had! Then Angie told Billy Bob that her love life with Brad had gone cold, and she missed the wild, passionate sex she’d had with Colin!

Who was there to know this private information? This is like when Charles Foster Kane died whispering his last words, “Rosebud” but the nurse was in the other room. Whatever, this is great, let’s just keep going with this. Brad “exploded” and,

Demanded that Angie tell him everything about her relationship with Colin. She told Brad that she fell in love with Colin because he was dangerous and spontaneous. She also copped to sending Colin sexy pictures, dirty voice-mails and sexually explicit let­ters during their fling. Angie admitted that she had hoped for a future, includ­ing marriage and kids, with Colin, but he wasn’t ready. She couldn’t deny to Brad that he was her second choice! [...] she thrives on making him jealous.

So now Brad Pitt is all sad and not wanting to marry her, like ever, and is telling her she can’t talk to Colin Farrell.

Okay.

So, Billy Bob Thornton’s Daughter Might Go to Jail

photo of amanda brumfield pictures mugshot billy bob thornton pics

Billy Bob Thornton‘s daughter, Amanda Brumfield, was charged with manslaughter earlier this week, and will be sentenced next month.

Brumfield was charged in the death of a friend’s one-year-old child, who died as a result of a “fall from a crib.” Though Brumfield was acquitted of first-degree murder and aggravated child abuse charges, the manslaughter charge still stands.

Amanda claims that the child was attempting to climb from her playpen, and upon success, she fell on her head. Brumfield then waited two hours to call for help. The child sustained extensive brain bleeding, and a three and-a-half inch fracture of the skull, and died later the same day. According to the state medical examiner:

Garavaglia said Olivia suffered so much head trauma that she would have been unconscious within minutes and dead within an hour. Garavaglia said there is no way Olivia could have suffered such serious injuries by falling from a playpen.

“That is my opinion. Over 25 years. Backed by literature. That is not how the child died (by accident),” Garavaglia said.

Such a shame.  That poor child.

I wonder what Angelina has to say about all of this.

Billy Bob Thornton’s Daughter Charged in 1 Year Old’s Death

Billy Bob Thornton

Amanda Brumfield, the eldest daughter of “Sideshow” Billy Bob Thornton, has been charged with child neglect causing harm or disability in relation to the death of a 1 year old girl whom she was babysitting.

Brumfield told detectives that a girl she was babysitting hit her head in a fall in an Ocoee home on Oct. 3, Detective James Berish said in a news release. Brumfield called for help more than two hours later when she couldn’t revive the girl, police in the city near Orlando said.

An autopsy determined the girl had a fractured skull and brain injury. The medical examiner ruled the death a homicide and said the explanation Brumfield gave was inconsistent with the child’s injuries, police said.

When informed of the incident, Thornton’s publicist commented that “Sideshow” Billy Bob had not been in contact with Brumfield for “quite some time.” That’s some good parenting there.

Billy Bob Explains It All

Billy Bob Thornton appeared last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to clear up any misuderstandings about his bitchy exchange earlier this month with a Canadian broadcaster.  Turns out, he’s not insane-he just “gave humpbacked geeks all over the world something to do.”  Humpbacked geeks?  What does that mean?  Is he talking about…bloggers?  Because I am not humpbacked!

The good news is that you don’t have to suffer through eight plus minutes of BBT footage to get to the part where he explains what he was thinking.  It’s all in the beginning, before he goes on to talk about a bunch of crap that no one cares about.

Boxcutters Cut from Nelson’s Canadian Tour

Billy Bob Thornton and His Cigarette at Sundance, Pictures Photos

I’m off to a bit of a late start today. You can attribute that to a) a heinous cold, b) spending several hours yesterday wedged under a toilet in the downstairs bathroom trying to avoid being carried off to Oz, and c) Flight of the Conchords Show at the Ryman last night. I’ll have more to write about b and c some time later on this weekend.

As for now however, I’ve made my morning run to Bojangles for a Cajun Fillet with cheese and a coffee so large I swear I saw Michael Phelps doing laps in it. That just might be enough to prepare me to write about Billy Bob Thornton.

On the heels of this debacle, Billy Bob Thornton’s self-described “hillbilly British Invasion” band, The Boxcutters, have cancelled their invasion of Canada.

Billy Bob Thornton’s band has canceled the rest of its Canadian tour after the actor compared the country’s fans to mashed potatoes with no gravy in a testy interview that caused a sensation online.

The Boxmasters opened for Willie Nelson on Thursday in Toronto, where they reportedly were booed and met with catcalls of “Here comes the gravy.”

A note posted on Nelson’s Web site Friday said the Boxmasters were canceling the rest of their Canadian dates “due to one band member and several of the crew having the flu.”

The flu? Come on Willie! I give you way more credit than that. Although he certainly appeared delirious and vomited up nonsensical bullshit like so much watery chicken soup, I think it’s a little disingenuous to call a major case of “being an arrogant asshole” the flu.

Get Some Coffee Or Vodka And Get Comfortable. I Need Fifteen Minutes Of Your Time.

There is rarely a day that I would ask anyone to watch thirteen minutes and forty seconds worth of any YouTube video.  But today is one of those days.  And I’m sorry to tell you of the content:  It’s a radio interview with Bill Bob Thornton and his new-ish band The Boxmasters.

Normally I’d tell you all the good times to fast forward to but truly, this must be watched from beginning to end.  The finer nuances, such as the totally pained look on the faces of Billy Bob Thornton’s band mates and the incredulity of the interviewer, cannot be overlooked.  I don’t know if BBT was on drugs or just encountered a circa 1780 wagon-wheel table in the green room, but his reactions to this interview are riveting-I can’t look away.

Also, I need a Canadian to tell me this:  What is the broadcasting equivalent of a Genie and how can I get one awarded to Jian Ghomeshi?  This dude was absolutely amazing in keeping his composure and sticking with interviewing this fuckwit, even after discovering that he didn’t bring his drums.