Because, please remember, all Christina Aguilera wants to do is f-ck your body. That’s Christina Aguilera who, at some point, decided to become a poor man’s Snooki, which is really something to think about. How do you guys think Christina’s new album is going to go over?
But as long we we’re here, why don’t we just go ahead and review all things Christina Aguilera? There’s been a few things this girl has gotten into this week, and it’s high time we discuss them.
First of all, she’s still picking really unflattering clothes:
Secondly, Lady Gaga tweeted Christina last week to say “just bought your new single. Seems the old Christina I loved has returned. Congratulations!” She’s since deleted it, I guess because it’s super insulting to have musical preferences.
Thirdly, lastly, and most importantly, Christina Aguilera won’t be on the next season of The Voice. The third season just started airing, and she’s definitely there, but she and Cee Lo want to take a break to get back to their own music. They’ll come back for the fifth season, but in the meantime, their seats will be taken by Shakira and Usher. I have no idea how that’s going to go over, but I’m excited to how those awful songs all the judges do together will work with Shakira’s hip-swiveling.
I’m excited, you guys! I really think that we’re all going to look back at 2012 as the year that Christina came back. Except not at all, not even a little bit.