Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Snooki Got Married, Check Out Her Dress!


Gone are the days of an Ugg-wearing Snooki, AKA, Nicole Polizzi. Now she’s donning a wedding gown! She married fiancé Jionni LaValle on Saturday, November 29. The couple have two children. They had a “Great Gatsby” themed wedding. And here’s one of the two wedding gowns she wore, as posted on her site:


And here are some details about the big day, from Us:

Polizzi, 26, donned two dresses from Bridal Reflections for the big day: an off-white, traditional lace gown for the ceremony and a more “fun and Gatsby-themed” dress for the reception, the bride previously shared with Us.

Her bridesmaids, including BFF Jenni “JWoww” Farley, wore black gowns with bows on them. After the couple exchanged vows, the bridal party and family and friends danced to eighteen-piece band Time Machine.

Ms. Snooki has said, of wedding planning that, “it’s not that hard.” Well yeah, when you’ve got a team of people to do shit for you, I doubt you’d consider it hard. Can I continue my snarkiness and say that maybe she could have found a better wedding photographer, because wow, are these poorly lit. Was her lipstick really that dark? I doubt it.

ANYWAY, SNARKINESS OVER, congrats to the happy couple, I got nothing against Ms. Polizzi and even found her kind of adorable on Dancing with the Stars. Best of luck!

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Snooki’s feeling those virgin strawberry daquiris


Somehow, when we weren’t looking, Snooki actually became an upstanding citizen, a mom and a likeable person. How in the hell did that happen? Nevermind, we like her now.

Now that Snooki is having baby #2 with fiancé Jionni LaValle, she’s taking it easy and enjoying some sunshine instead of stressing herself out too much. Her big pregnancy craving? Strawberries… particularly strawberry daquiris, though don’t worry, they’re virgin!

She posted the above photo of her Florida vacation on Instagram this weekend – she looks great!

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Snooki’s Really Proud of Being a Size 0


Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi is known for her drunken escapades and basically, that’s sort of it. Of course, her life has changed plenty since the Jersey Shore days. She’s got a baby now, she’s on Dancing with the Stars and she’s lost a lot of weight. Like, a lot of weight – 50 lbs, and that’s a lot especially for someone so short. She was never “fat”, but you know what society is like – her nickname used to be “meatball”, for God’s sake – and I guess she really wanted to get fit, so here we are. Snooki is a size 0 now and she’s really proud of that. Like, really proud.

From Life & Style:

“I used to hate going to the gym, but now I love it,” she admits. “I lift very heavy weights, and I’m strong!”

DWTS is helping to keep her fit as well. “It’s helping to keep my legs and everything else toned. Dancing is an amazing workout! I’m a size 0 and damn proud of it!”

Well, good for her. I recently lost 30 lbs and I’m thrilled as shit, so it’s definitely something to be proud of. Still, it’s a shame that it just reenforces the idea that if society has enough to say about how you personally exist – especially as a woman – you’ll eventually change to conform. On the flip side, Snooki seems to really have got into the groove and loves working out, so I don’t think this is all about outward pressure. Either way, uh, you go girl?

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JWoww Is Putting Money In Snooki’s Baby’s College Fund

snooki jwoww

Somehow, the stars of Jersey Shore continue to make money doing… whatever it is they do. Selling fake tan or horse hair extensions or something. In any case, having a bit of spare dough has lit a fire under Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley‘s Photoshopped ass to do a bit of good, so she’s put some away for Snooki‘s baby (and her godson) Lorenzo. Aww, isn’t that sweet?

From MTV News:

While she may only be a couple weeks into her godmother duties, she’s already planning for the future in a major way. “I think I’ll be a pretty good god mommy,” she said. “I already started Lorenzo’s college tuition. That was his present from me. So even though I hope he gets a scholarship [because] I’d rather buy him a car than have to pay for college, I think he’ll do good. I think he’ll earn a wrestling scholarship.

“This is what I feel in my future,” she said. “And I’m just gonna show him the ways and hope he learns from me and his mom’s errors and mistakes that we made along the way.”

Uh, okay. My first instinct is to talk shit about this, but it’s actually a pretty nice gesture and a smart decision – especially since we all know that reality show money is not going to last forever (just ask The Situation!). I still kinda can’t believe Snooki is a mother, though.

Snooki Was Pretty Disgusted By Pregnancy


Snooki has really turned her life around since giving birth to baby Lorenzo last year, and she’s loving the mommy life, but here’s one thing she didn’t love: pregnancy. Ladies, our bodies can do some pretty cool things, but that means they can also do some pretty gross things on the way to doing the cool ones. Yes, our dear Snooks was totally disgusted by pregnancy – way more than she thought she’d be.

Asked about any myths of motherhood she had come across, she told TMZ:

“I wouldn’t say motherhood. I would say pregnancy. Because everybody makes it just so glamorous and cute, but it’s hell. It’s disgusting. I hate it. But the reward is awesome.”

Word up. Snooks would also like to have more kids with fiancé Jionni LaValle in the future, but just not yet – they’ll plan it when the time comes. Hey, what do you know – there IS such a thing as responsible childbearing/rearing.

Snooki Admits She Was Pretty Selfish Before Being a Mom

Snooki hasn’t been interested in her partying days for a while now, but she’s still having epiphanies about just how empty her life before giving birth to baby Lorenzo was. Y’all know I hate “motherhood made me less selfish” stories with a passion (seriously, get your head out of your own ass, single/childless people), but Nicole Polizzi is one person who I can truly believe it affected in such a way. She went from throwing up on New Jersey beaches to changing diapers and talking about politics. I’m not sure what the politics has to do with anything, but let’s just go with it.

From an interview with Asbury Park Press:

“[Motherhood is] pretty great,” Snooki declared, adding: “Before I had the baby, I was very selfish, and all I wanted to do was go to Vegas with my boyfriend and party.”

She added: “Once you have a kid, everything changes… It changes how you look at the world.”

For the record, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to go to Vegas with your boyfriend and party just because you have a kid, though obviously you can’t be doing that shit every weekend. I’m glad things have changed for her, though. Whether you’re a parent or not, falling off your shoes and projectile vomiting on sidewalks is not a good look for anyone, so however the change comes about, it’s a good one.

Snooki Already Wants More Kids

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

From People:

It was just four short months ago that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi gave birth to a baby boy, Lorenzo, revealing her maternal side to world.

But the pint-sized reality star says she’s already thinking about giving the little meatball a sibling.

“I already want another baby,” the Jersey Shore star, 25, tells

“[Fiancé] Jionni [LaValle] and I are building our house right now, but once it’s built, then we’re going to pop them out,” she says.

Yes, Snooki! Build your house and then have all the babies! One baby a year is totally doable, so if all goes according to plan, you should be able to have at least fifteen more kids! Make sure you build enough bedrooms, and probably go ahead and watch that video that Octomom made of her house, just so you can get an idea of what you’ll need. Oh, and never look back, girl! This is all you!