Shakira‘s super zany and quirky and says shit that either a) makes no sense b) is totally inappropriate, which is why we love her. (We do love her, right?) Her latest foray into the cringeworthy is an interview she did with USA Today, in which she claims that she never wants to stop breastfeeding and has become “addicted” to the practice. Yikes.
“I’m not back all the way to my old self, but I look decent now, I think,” says the singer and judge on The Voice. “What has helped me a lot was breastfeeding, and I’m so hooked, I’m telling you, I think I’m going to keep breastfeeding this baby until he goes to college because I can’t stop, ” joked Shakira.
LOL. Obviously lots of moms feel this way, and breastfeeding is beneficial for your baby, as well, so no hating there. I just think it’s hilarious when Shakira jokes about shit like breastfeeding her kid until he’s in college because that visual is just… disturbing. Also, this comes after she compared herself to a Shar Pei after giving birth. Bless her heart.
June 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Shakira and footballer boyfriend Gerard Pique had a baby in January of this year, and he’s adorable! Ah, the miracle of birth, etc. Motherhood is great and all, but during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (via DS), Shakira made the most ludicrous claim I’ve heard in a while. Now, this might be hard for you to take in, but… she looked like a Shar Pei after giving birth and was terrified that she’d never be sexy again. Because when you’ve just pushed a child out of your vagina, the most important thing is making sure men still want to put their dicks in it!
Anyhoo, we won’t go down that road. Of course, all women worry about how they look and your body having undergone such extreme changes would probably make anyone self-conscious. But also, HELLO, Shakira! You’re one of the most beautiful women in the world (not my type particularly, but I’m not blind) and just because you’ve got that not-so-fresh feeling after going through hours of hard labour does not make that any less true. Plus, hey look! That little wrinkly, wiggly, screaming thing in your arms? That’s your baby! Hurray for the miracle of biology!
The singer, who recently took over Christina Aguilera’s coaching role on NBC’s The Voice, spoke to Ellen DeGeneres about her post-pregnancy figure.
She said: “Looking at your new image in the mirror, I looked like a Shar Pei when I first delivered.
“I was like, ‘Oh my God. Am I ever going to be sexy again? Is my man ever going to feel attracted to me again the way he used to be?’”
Shakira recently spoke about her baby weight battle, saying: “I look decent. I still have a long way to go. I still have a few pounds over to lose.”
May 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer
Newsflash: Colombia’s favorite she-wolf and footballer boyfriend Gerard Piqué have had a baby boy! This is another case where hotness cancellation could happen, but luckily for them, it didn’t. Baby Milan was born in Barcelona on January 22 and while most celebs would be cashing the check of the first mag to offer them $20k for those oh-so exclusive first photos, Shakira has a bit more class and has used the opportunity to draw attention to a worthy cause.
Taking to her Twitter page on Monday, Shakira directed followers to her UNICEF page, where she shared a photo of Piqué holding little Milan. She hoped doing so would encourage people to donate to UNICEF to allow the organization to help children who are less fortunate:
— Shakira (@shakira) February 4, 2013
As for the photo, isn’t Milan adorable? Good on Shakira for ignoring an opportunity to be a fame whore and instead genuinely attempting to use her celebrity to do some good.
February 5, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
By a sea lion! EGADS!
The attack took place on Sunday. Shakira and her brother are on an African vacation, and they were on a tour when a wily sea lion decided to strike!
That might be a little too close for comfort!
Shakira is nursing a few scrapes and hailing her brother as a hero after he saved her from a wild sea lion attack in Cape Town, South Africa.
The singer and her sibling spied some of the aquatic mammals on a tour Sunday afternoon and decided to get a bit closer to take pictures.
“Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me,” she wrote on Facebook. “I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast.”
Shakira believes the sea lion was confused by the shiny reflection of the Blackberry she used to take pictures. “It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it,” she said, adding that she and Tony suffered minor scratches on nearby rocks as they tried to escape. Sea lions have interacted well with humans throughout history, and attacks are rare and usually tied to territorial aggression.
Shakira wrote that just a half hour before the incident, she had hoped to get up close and personal with some wildlife. “I was complaining to my guide Andrew that I never get to see wild animals up close on adventurous trips,” she said. “Oh well, I can’t say that anymore!”
Despite the scare, the star’s African adventure continues. “Today with the penguins!” she wrote. “Definitely friendlier!”
My first thought was “well, that’s one way to stay relevant.” My second thought was “no, that’s mean, Shakira’s ok, it’s not her fault she got attacked by a sea lion.” My third thought, which came shortly after, was “a sea lion? Really? A sea lion?”
So now I think Shakira must have been up to something pretty shady to get that adorable animal angry. What could it have been? What could that harmless ol’ sea lion have seen in Shakira to make him “roar in fury” and try to bite her?” Let’s get some rumors started, people!
February 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Yup, that’s right: in her new video, “Rabiosa,” The Girlfriend With One of the Hottest Bodies in Hollywood pole dances.
How do we feel about a brunette, short-haired Shakira? And the video, aside from the obviously-fabulous pole dancing, are we digging it? Is it too much like something from the late nineties, or is this just Shakira’s niche? Me, I think the video was OK. It was fun. It was Shakira, for crying out loud, and she’s never really been known for her moving, thought-provoking videos, unless you count her moves, which provoke some really inappropriate thoughts. Then, I guess, the lady’s got it in the bag.
Woo, Shakira! Looking hot, girl!
June 10, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah
Shakira’s new video came out today and uhhh… I don’t get it? I feel really dense and I’m sure I’ll find out from one of you commenters within minutes of posting this, but what the hell is going on here? Shakira is in some sort of trantric sex dance on a bed with a dude, then in a steam room. Is this supposed to be like that show Sisters? Didn’t they all go in a steam room on that show? Oh, and the song is probably the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard. She sounds like Grover.