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Shakira

1Shakira Was Just “Being Humorous” About Calling Her Boyfriend “Territorial”

Shakira

Shakira is clarifying some statements she made about her boyfriend. Remember when she said, “He’s very territorial, and since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women”? And everyone collectively went, “Uh, that’s a little much”?

Well now she’s saying she was basically just joshing.

Here’s what she posted on Facebook:

Hey guys – I recently said in some interviews that my man could be territorial. For the record, I was being humorous and now I see that some press took it very literally! The reality is that we have a beautiful relationship of mutual trust, and jealousy has never been an issue on either side. Next time I promise, I’ll be more careful when attempting to use my sense of humor, as clearly it can be easily misinterpreted!

Uh huh.

I don’t get what part of her original comments were meant to be a joke. How is calling your boyfriend “territorial” funny? What’s the punchline there?

Oh Shakira, Shakira.

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April 6, 2014 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Shakira

7Shakira’s boyfriend doesn’t let her do videos with men

shakira gerard pique

LOL to all this, but Shakira has said that her boyfriend, footballer Gerard Piqué, won’t let her have any men in any of her videos. You know, because he makes those kind of decisions and not her record label. Apparently Gerard has a really serious jealousy problem, which isn’t at all concerning, and she has to pass everything by him before she does it. Cool, sounds healthy and totally awesome!

From Billboard:

“He’s very territorial, and since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women,” she says with a laugh. “It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question – which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”

LOL, I love that she had to add that she likes being controlled by this dude. You know, because she has a choice otherwise! Then again, I guess that explains this bullshit once and for all:

rihanna shakira

And I’m sure Gerard relented in letting her do this and wasn’t at all turned on by it. Gag me with all this bullshit.

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March 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Shakira

1Rihanna and Shakira Are Humping Walls in the ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’ Video

shakira rihanna

It was recently announced that Shakira and Rihanna had formed an unlikely duo for Shakira’s new single, ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’, a terrible rock-raggae-pop track (the reggae bit is apparently why Shakira thought of Rihanna) whose video doesn’t look to be much better, if the mini preview that’s been released is anything to go by.

The video is sure to include the following:

  • some light lesbo action (to keep male visitors enthralled, I suppose)

rihanna shakira

  • some wall-humping

rihanna hum

And God knows what else, really. The song sucks, so the video won’t really be any better – even Rihanna’s twerking looks phoned in. It’ll probably do okay in the charts (definitely not a #1) by virtue of the artists performing it, but I think it’s a bit of a let down, myself.

Have a look:

January 30, 2014 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer

0Listen: Shakira and Rihanna’s ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’

shakira rihanna

Worlds have collided, because Shakira and Rihanna have teamed up for a duet on a song with the dumbest title I’ve ever heard of: ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’. Yeah, yeah, I get it. It’s super clever… or super corny. The song itself isn’t much to call home for and the production seems a little cheap, to be honest. That being said, since it’s these two, it’ll probably do really well on the charts.

Give the song a listen below:

I dunno, it’s a bit of a nothing song, don’t you think?

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January 14, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Music, Rihanna, Shakira

0Uh, So… Shakira’s “Hooked” On Breastfeeding, Will Do It ‘Til Her Kid’s In College

shakira

Shakira‘s super zany and quirky and says shit that either a) makes no sense b) is totally inappropriate, which is why we love her. (We do love her, right?) Her latest foray into the cringeworthy is an interview she did with USA Today, in which she claims that she never wants to stop breastfeeding and has become “addicted” to the practice. Yikes.

“I’m not back all the way to my old self, but I look decent now, I think,” says the singer and judge on The Voice. “What has helped me a lot was breastfeeding, and I’m so hooked, I’m telling you, I think I’m going to keep breastfeeding this baby until he goes to college because I can’t stop, ” joked Shakira.

LOL. Obviously lots of moms feel this way, and breastfeeding is beneficial for your baby, as well, so no hating there. I just think it’s hilarious when Shakira jokes about shit like breastfeeding her kid until he’s in college because that visual is just… disturbing. Also, this comes after she compared herself to a Shar Pei after giving birth. Bless her heart.

June 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Shakira

3Yeah, Okay, Sure: Shakira Looked Like A Shar Pei After Giving Birth

shakira

Shakira and footballer boyfriend Gerard Pique had a baby in January of this year, and he’s adorable! Ah, the miracle of birth, etc. Motherhood is great and all, but during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (via DS), Shakira made the most ludicrous claim I’ve heard in a while. Now, this might be hard for you to take in, but… she looked like a Shar Pei after giving birth and was terrified that she’d never be sexy again. Because when you’ve just pushed a child out of your vagina, the most important thing is making sure men still want to put their dicks in it!

Anyhoo, we won’t go down that road. Of course, all women worry about how they look and your body having undergone such extreme changes would probably make anyone self-conscious. But also, HELLO, Shakira! You’re one of the most beautiful women in the world (not my type particularly, but I’m not blind) and just because you’ve got that not-so-fresh feeling after going through hours of hard labour does not make that any less true. Plus, hey look! That little wrinkly, wiggly, screaming thing in your arms? That’s your baby! Hurray for the miracle of biology!

The singer, who recently took over Christina Aguilera’s coaching role on NBC’s The Voice, spoke to Ellen DeGeneres about her post-pregnancy figure.

She said: “Looking at your new image in the mirror, I looked like a Shar Pei when I first delivered.

“I was like, ‘Oh my God. Am I ever going to be sexy again? Is my man ever going to feel attracted to me again the way he used to be?’”

Shakira recently spoke about her baby weight battle, saying: “I look decent. I still have a long way to go. I still have a few pounds over to lose.”

I’ll just leave that there. And this.
May 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: GTFO, Shakira
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