Really though, who was it? Because whoever it was is not a good friend. Whoever called the entire guest list of the Billboard Music Awards and said “hey, just wanted to let you know to be sure to have awful hair, horrible makeup, and/or a really bad dress! Love you, girl!” has a dark, mischievous spirit and needs to be held accountable for all of this.
There was Miley Cyrus, obviously, and her ensemble. Sarah showed you her choices just a little while ago, but you know I can’t just let that be the end of it. Look at that hair, you guys. I know Miley’s a Southern girl, so she was ingrained with that meaningful mantra, “the higher the hair, the closer to God,” but this isn’t the Dixie Stampede or the Grand Ole Opry, and you shouldn’t use your hair to fool yourself.
Then there was Natasha Beddingfield. Girl.
And Justin Bieber wore a wallet chain and two earrings:
But then Katy Perry trumped them all with this mess:
She’s wearing that tragic makeup again, as you can see. And her dress … I don’t even know what to say. Her dress looks like something I would have loved for my Barbies to have worn in 1994. Her dress looks like it would go great with a classic pair of jellies. Which is all to say that her dress looks silly but fun, I suppose. Meanwhile, her makeup …
It’s just not a good situation.