You would think Martha Stewart interviewing Justin Bieber would be even moderately interesting, but I’m sorry to inform you that you’d be wrong in that thinking. In the new issue of Interview, Martha managed to ask the most bland questions, while Justin’s answers to those questions were so snooze-worthy that I literally had to keep my eyes from fluttering closed as I tried to read them. Instead of tackling any hard-hitting questions, instead we got to hear about how Justin graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA (RECEIPTS???), how much “fun” he had at the Met Ball, and how he met his manager with the idiot name, Scooter Braun. YAWN.
On his Comedy Central roast:
STEWART: Did you feel uncomfortable at any point during the roast?
BIEBER: Oh, of course. But, overall, it was fun because I knew a lot of the people on the panel. It was all in good fun.
On his career:
STEWART: When did you know it was music that was going to be your thing?
BIEBER: Honestly, it was never something that I was going to do for a living. At 13 you’re not even thinking about that, you know? I was just playing for fun and uploading videos on YouTube because I wanted to show my family. That’s when Scooter found me.
On Scooter being a stalker:
STEWART: And how did Scooter contact you?
BIEBER: He kind of stalked me, basically. He got in touch with a lot of people in Stratford because he couldn’t get in touch with me. My mom’s last name is Mallette, and my last name is Bieber, so he contacted my great aunt, who I’d never met before. He contacted the school board. My mom was getting all these messages saying, “This guy named Scooter is trying to get in touch with you.” After a while, it got kind of creepy to my mom, so she finally gave him a call to tell him to stop calling. She ended up talking to him for about two hours. They kept in touch, and we eventually made a trip out to Atlanta to see what he’s about and to see what kind of connections he could get.
I mean, have you ever been MORE bored by Justin Bieber? No, right? And that’s saying something. I can’t say the whole thing is worth reading, but if you’re a bit of a masochist, have at it. Even stranger are the photos that went with this shoot, because they don’t match the tone of the interview AT ALL. Like, what? They also kinda make me want to vomit, but here ya go.