Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus is an expert in ejaculation

miley cyrus

We’re all aware that Miley Cyrus is a worldwide sensation when it comes to pop artistry, but did you know that her approach to fine arts – such as the collection she’s just released with Jeremy Scott during NYFW – is also very deep and meaningful? Miley has been working on sculpture, and it’s not just about gluing shit onto other shit (though it is also about that). In fact, it has a much greater significance: ejaculate.

From The Guardian:

Cyrus’s sculptures makes use of teddy bears, cameras, party hats, masks, USB keys and a pineapple. “I did the pineapple because you know what they say about pineapple, right?” she said. “If you drink a lot of pineapple juice you’re going to have yummy cum. So that’s why I put it on the dick with a bunch of babies, and it says, ‘Fuck.’ I try to think about everything so it has a story to me.”

Oh, okay. Good to know. There’s also this gem:

“They say money can’t buy happiness and it’s totally true,” she said. “Money can buy you a bunch of shit to glue to a bunch of other shit that will make you happy, but … obviously the shit you buy doesn’t make you happier because I’m sitting here gluing a bunch of junk to stuff.”

Talk about profound! I dunno, for as lewd and contrived as Miley can be with this whole ~free spirit~ bullshit she’s into now, I actually kinda like her a lot of the time. I think she’s sorta hilarious and I feel like she doesn’t actually take herself all that serious, so that makes it slightly more acceptable.

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Miley Cyrus goes nearly naked to New York Fashion Week

miley cyrus

All the stars head out to New York Fashion Week, but Miley Cyrus has a particular reason to be there: she’s unveiling her Dirty Hippie collection which she created with Jeremy Scott. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s fucking hideous. Like, really hideous:

miley cyrus dirty hippie

miley cyrus dirty hippie

See what I mean? Let’s head behind the cut to see Miley a) topless with pasties at Alexander Wang’s NYFW party and b) Miley with her full tits out (as per) in V Magazine.

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Missed the VMAs? Let me catch you up!

Did you miss last night’s MTV Video Music Awards? You’re not alone. I generally purposely try to miss the broadcast, but for whatever reason, I actually tuned in this year – via torrent, of course, which means I got to skip over the seemingly endless ad breaks. Here are the 10 moments that people are talking about/will make you seem totally “on it” around the water cooler at work.

Beyoncé. Everything Beyoncé.

Beyonce Jay-Z Bluey Ivy VMAs

Beyoncé was given the Video Vanguard Award after giving an incredible performance of a medley of pretty much every single song on the self-titled album. I know I get a bit Beyoncé-d out sometimes, but you can’t deny she’s an incredibly accomplished performer and that award was extremely well-deserved. Jay-Z bringing little Blue Ivy up on stage to hand her the statue at the end was the extra cherry on top. SO CUTE.

Blue Ivy VMAs

Miley Cyrus got a homeless man to accept her award.

miley cyrus homeless man VMAs

Miley Cyrus won Video of the Year, but instead of accepting the award herself, she sent a homeless man from the area on stage to represent the homeless community in Los Angeles and bring awareness to the cause. Miley was in tears the whole time he was speaking, but I can’t tell if this was genuine or some weird hacky PR move. I’m feeling optimistic today, so I’ll go with the former.

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Miley Cyrus isn’t welcome in Santo Domingo

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus was planning on taking her Bangerz tour over to the Dominican Republic, but it turns out the city of Santo Domingo doesn’t want her there and have banned the show from happening.

From The Buenos Aires Herald:

Through a letter delivered to the companies in charge of the event, the local government argued Cyrus performances “go against the country’s moral and customs.”

According to the commission, the singer also “performs with unsuitable costumes,” and uses “language and images which encourage sex and violence.”

In addition, they accused Cyrus of “apology for crime, violence and denigrating acts before civilized culture, incitement for sex, lesbian sex, and use of inappropriate objects in public.”

The show was supposed to take place at Quisqueya Stadium, in the country’s capital of Santo Domingo.

Well, damn. I guess some people aren’t ready for the twerk.

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Miley Cyrus adopted a piglet called Bubba Sue

miley cyrus bubba sue piglet

Can someone please stop Miley Cyrus from adopting/buying/whatever-she’s-doing-to-get-them new animals? Seriously, this is getting a little ridiculous. She’s now moved on from getting dog after dog and is the proud owner of a new piglet named Bubba Sue. Yeah, this is going to end well. Poor animal.

Miley began posting selfies with Bubba Sue over the weekend, and I have to admit, the pig is ADORABLE. Of course, she won’t keep it for too long – it’ll either end up dead like several of her dogs mysteriously have done or she’ll abandon it and give it away when it gets bigger and is no longer cute enough to post on Instagram. It’s messed up and completely ridiculous. As if a 20-year-old on a world tour who is obsessed with partying and shit is going to properly take care of an animal that has no business being kept as a pet on buses and planes? Money really can buy you anything, it seems. I just hope Bubba Sue makes it out alive.

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Miley Cyrus squats in the woods for a shit

miley cyrus

Well, I can’t particularly say I’m surprised that Miley Cyrus would post a photo of herself, pants down and squatting to take a shit in a pile of leaves, on her Instagram page. Do we really expect more from Miley? Are we actually shocked? Not particularly. There are certain things we just don’t need – or want – to see, but Miley seems obsessed with showing us anyway.

I’m not sure what purpose posting a photo of yourself copping a squat actually serves, but then I’d have to ask that about pretty much everything she posts. If this is for shock value, or to prove just how much she ~don’t curr~ then, well, it’s still not okay. Really, really not interested in seeing Miley Cyrus use the toilet, thanks.

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