No joke, Lindsay Lohan actually hit a person with her car while leaving a club last night, and then she drove off. She just left. You’re not surprised, are you? No one’s surprised.
Lindsay Lohan struck someone while driving away from a club, and then fled the scene … TMZ has learned.
Lindsay was in her new Porsche when she left the Sayers Club in Hollywood at just after midnight Wednesday.
We’re told she was driving out of the parking lot when she was blocked by paparazzi and bystanders around the nearby Hookah Lounge.
Lindsay made contact with the manager of the Hookah Lounge with her car and then peeled out.
Cops were called, came to the scene, interviewed people inside the Hookah Lounge — including the manager who was lightly struck — and then left.
We’re told Lindsay may have been the one who called police to protect herself from paparazzi, and that’s why cops came.
Sources at the scene say the manager may not have suffered any injury. If that’s the case, Lindsay probably did not violate any law, but if he was injured that could constitute the crime of hit and run. What’s more, it could be grounds to violate her probation in the shoplifting case.
UPDATE: Cops tell TMZ … they have investigated and determined no one was injured so as far as they are concerned it’s case closed. They added it could be reopened if the person struck contacts them later and claims injury.
Of course, this isn’t the first time this has happened: remember when Lindsay ran a red light and clipped a baby stroller? You remember that, right? Do we really need any more reasons why someone needs to revoke Lindsay Lohan’s driving privileges for the rest of her whole entire life?
And now this is the part where I talk about how Lindsay might really go to jail this time, because surely the justice system can’t overlook this latest crime, and surely the judge can see that she needs more help than she’s getting. And then I say that it’s such a shame about how much of a trainwreck she’s become, and then I make a reference to Parent Trap or Mean Girls, and then I end on some optimistic note about her future. It’s peppered with some mildly catty remarks, but you can tell I mean well. Is that everything?
It’s such an obvious pattern, you guys, and it’s tiring. At least maybe her next mug shot will feature that lovely red hair.