I was going to say that it was mediocre, but I thought calling what Lindsay did last night “mediocre” would be way too generous. Guys, she wasn’t good. At all. I’m really glad that I took back all my optimistic comments from earlier in the week, otherwise I’d be so embarrassed right now.
Where do we even start? Should we talk about how Lindsay was flat and boring throughout the show, or about how she couldn’t even be bothered to memorize most of her lines? Or maybe we can start with a more positive note by saying how fortunate it was that Saturday Night Live had enough foresight to limit Lindsay’s actual screen time because they had a pretty good inkling that this whole thing could go to hell so easily. Or, ooh, I know! We can discuss how the smart people in the hair and makeup department put Lindsay in so many ginger wigs! Well played, hair and makeup, but the lack of awful bleached hair didn’t make Lindsay as funny as you’d hoped it would. Nay, as we all hoped it would.
You can see Lindsay’s monologue above, although it wasn’t the musical monologue that’s we’d been told it would be. Now let’s check out some of Lindsay’s other clips, shall we?
This one was definitely my favorite, but let’s be real, it’s because it contains Disney princess and Kristen Wiig. I also probably liked it more than the others because it was pre-recorded, and therefore Lindsay’s stumbling wasn’t as noticeable as it was, you know, on live television.
Again, the only reason this one was ok was because of Kristen Wiig. Lindsay’s not really doing it for me here either. Lindsay’s hair though? Totally doing it for me.
This one. Oh, man. Notice how when Lindsay has more than one line to say at a time, she kind of falls apart. Notice her ridiculous stumbling over lines that she’s reading from cue cards. Notice how obvious it is that she’s reading from cue cards. Ugh.
Remarkably, the funniest moment of the night came from the back-up host, Jon Hamm. What did we learn, Saturday Night Live?