Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan on SNL: That Was Rough, Huh?

I was going to say that it was mediocre, but I thought calling what Lindsay did last night “mediocre” would be way too generous. Guys, she wasn’t good. At all. I’m really glad that I took back all my optimistic comments from earlier in the week, otherwise I’d be so embarrassed right now.

Where do we even start? Should we talk about how Lindsay was flat and boring throughout the show, or about how she couldn’t even be bothered to memorize most of her lines? Or maybe we can start with a more positive note by saying how fortunate it was that Saturday Night Live had enough foresight to limit Lindsay’s actual screen time because they had a pretty good inkling that this whole thing could go to hell so easily. Or, ooh, I know! We can discuss how the smart people in the hair and makeup department put Lindsay in so many ginger wigs! Well played, hair and makeup, but the lack of awful bleached hair didn’t make Lindsay as funny as you’d hoped it would. Nay, as we all hoped it would.

You can see Lindsay’s monologue above, although it wasn’t the musical monologue that’s we’d been told it would be. Now let’s check out some of Lindsay’s other clips, shall we?

This one was definitely my favorite, but let’s be real, it’s because it contains Disney princess and Kristen Wiig. I also probably liked it more than the others because it was pre-recorded, and therefore Lindsay’s stumbling wasn’t as noticeable as it was, you know, on live television.

Again, the only reason this one was ok was because of Kristen Wiig. Lindsay’s not really doing it for me here either. Lindsay’s hair though? Totally doing it for me.

This one. Oh, man. Notice how when Lindsay has more than one line to say at a time, she kind of falls apart. Notice her ridiculous stumbling over lines that she’s reading from cue cards. Notice how obvious it is that she’s reading from cue cards. Ugh.

Remarkably, the funniest moment of the night came from the back-up host, Jon Hamm. What did we learn, Saturday Night Live?

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • That show was really hard to watch. She’s already defending her performance, which is to be expected, but I really didn’t think it would be that bad. Hardly any lines and couldn’t get those right.

  • SNL is never funny. A couple of those skits could have been with someone else. Your critique is dead on, she was awful. If she’d really get clean and healthy and go back to her natural hair color, she might actually…nah. The girl has no talent. Just big boobs.

  • Really, what do you expect? It’s SNL. Yes, there are bright spots of blazing talent, but we’re not talking the era of Wayne’s World anymore. Or the Killer Bees or “Jane, you ignorant slut…” Attempting to watch this was painful on SO. MANY. LEVELS. Lack of great comedic chops, lack of talent or even the common courtesy to learn her lines from Lohan, lack of great writing. Uck!

  • I can’t remember who tweeted this, but it was something to the effect of “this comeback would be more believable if Lohan didn’t have to read cue cards to remember the plots of her own movies”. daaaaayum. so true.

  • Some actors are just not skilled on live TV. Ever see De Niro’s first few performances? Atrocious.

    Although I haven’t watched the show yet, I don’t doubt Lohan was crap, but in her defence, nobody memorizes their lines on that show. A simple google search will confirm this.

    Here’s an example from a forum:

    I worked at SNL, albeit many years ago. A TelePromTer (which is a trade name) is mounted on the camera. It can only be used by an actor who is supposed to be looking directly into the camera. On SNL, that’s anybody on Weekend Update, Armisen playing Obama addressing the American people, a spoof commercial or PSA done live, etc.

    For any sketch that involves two or more actors, cue cards are used. They’re handwritten—quickly—in a wonderful handwriting I’d love to be able to duplicate. And given that changes are made to scripts up to and even during airtime (a sketch slated for 12:45 (EST) might actually be tweaked after the show has started at 11:30), performers ignore the cards at their own peril.

  • Does anyone else want The Real Housewives of Disney to be an actual thing? Because I would hulu the hell out of that show.

  • Well, she can do taped stuff if propped up by a great ensemble cast. “Real Housewives” was hysterical! She also has that raspy little girl voice-victim roles?
    Work what you have left, girl…

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