Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Snooki Looks So Happy!

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

No, I’m just joshin’ you, Snooki has actually been looking kind of miserable for a while. Even before her pregnancy and engagement were confirmed, I’d been keeping an eye on our photo agency’s pictures of her, because seriously, look at her. Where’s that smile? Where’s that bubbly girl we’re all so used to seeing?

Oh my gosh, you guys, I just had a thought. What if Snooki is like Bella in Breaking Dawn, and her fetus is killing her from the inside because it’s the product of some kind of unnatural union? What if Snooki gets thinner and so sickly looking, and she sits around the shore house all day, just wasting away, until J Woww comes up with the theory that the baby isn’t able to survive on food alone? And Ronnie gets to the blender and makes a concoction of Red Bull, bronzer, tanning lotion, and pickle juice, and the baby keeps growing and growing until Snooki goes into delivery, where Jionni has to … rip open her stomach and gnaw through her uterus with her teeth to get the baby out. I’m sorry, I know that’s exactly what happens in Breaking Dawn, but I’m having trouble coming up with a parallel that’s that messed up.

What do you guys think? Is Snooki glowing, or do you think she looks a little overwhelmed? Maybe she’s really not all “OMG I’m pregnant!” like she wants us to believe. To help you figure it out, I’ve compiled a selection of all the photos we have of Snooki since around New Year’s, which is when she said she found out she was pregnant. Do some analyzing, and let me know what you come up with, all right?

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • well her ex(or whoever that was i dunno) hopes she miscarries,and people are saying some pretty gnarly things so maybe she’s feeling a tad bit emo about it-i would probably feel like shit too

  • I’d be miserable too if I was used to drinking that much and then had to completely stop! Seriously though, she’s such a partier, dealing with pregnancy is a pretty massive lifestyle change. That can be rough, especially if all your friends are still partying without you.