Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh Dear God No: Snooki is Pregnant

photo of snooki pregnant baby bump pics
From the New York Post:

Though she has publicly denied she’s expecting, sources say trashy “Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is indeed pregnant and has plans to bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming “the next Kourtney Kardashian.”

We’re told Polizzi, 24, is carrying her first child by boyfriend Jionni LaValle, and is roughly three months along. Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.

But sources tell Page Six that MTV is worried about how to manage the news, given that Polizzi’s hard-partying, booze-swilling ways have just been turned into a “Jersey Shore” spinoff with Jenni “JWoww” Farley, which has begun shooting in New Jersey. “MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ” The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way.

Can you even believe this? No. Wait. I can’t. Because I choose not to believe this. The alternative is just inconceivable, much like I thought Snooki was, what with all of that ephedrine and coconut rum running through her veins. How is that a fertile environment for anything to grow, especially a mini-Guido?

Oh. Well, then. Now that you put it that way, I suppose it IS the best climate to foster a tiny little Guido (or Guidette).

Congrats are … what, in order then? Woo? Who’s buying the Jager bombs … ?

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