Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gwyneth Paltrow Does Elle, Deserves A Punch in The Face

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Oh hey, everybody! Did you happen to hear that I despise Gwyneth Paltrow? Because I do. I think she’s the most pretentious person, and every single thing she says makes me want to vomit in a jar and then ship it to her home so she can have a nice jar of old vomit, and if that makes me juvenile or gross, then that’s just fine, because she’s done far worse to me.

Anyway, Gwyneth just did Elle, and I wanted to share with you some of her ridiculous quotes:

On her Grammy performance: “Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we’re at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”

On her BFF Beyonce: “Beyoncé and Jay—they think that I should just go do it by myself. That I should go … in a studio and see what happens. And if it’s good, do it. And if it’s not, don’t. So that’s probably what I’ll do.”

On being an inspiration: “What I love is inspiring people. People come up to me and say, ‘I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.’”

On being “so funny”: “If you speak to my friends who’ve known me since I was four, they’ll say, ‘That is her.’ They always said to me, ‘You’re the dirtiest person in the world and so funny. Show the world that side of you.’ I felt guarded. I felt like if I really showed people more of me and I was still not accepted, then…Who cares. You just realize it doesn’t matter what people think of you.”

On Paris: “When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some… restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris? People know that I know that…”

On her relationship with Chris Martin: “Sometimes it’s hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren’t all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what’s going to happen. If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He’s such a good dad. You can never be relaxed or smug and think, I’ve got this thing. That’s also part of it—keeping yourself on your toes. I’m not going to take this for granted.”

Ugh. I loathe her. Who’s with me?

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I hate when people talk about foreign cities and it feels they’re just doing it so they can show off.

  • Totally with you. The part that does drives it home is the constant tone of pretend modesty. You know that she thinks she’s being modest when she’s talking about herself. She’s actually being a complete douche.

    • Whoever you are I thank you for one of the best lines I have ever heard. You have totally made my day.

      And she is totally pretentious prig. As Dennis Leary once said “hey, hey, hey, pull this bus over to the side of the pretentiousness highway”!

  • i think all the hate is totally fair and justified. she’s like the girl in high school who was really really popular but now 20 years later, everyone else has moved on but she still thinks she’s it and a bit. but she’s not. she’s just annoying.

  • I think she’s pretty. I’m not surprised to hear all this hate. All females are bitches.

    • Oh really? Care to spew any other sweeping generalisations about 50% of the world’s population? Listen, Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t really likeable, end of. She is pretty, granted, but she comes across as too up her arse.

  • For my money, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez are in the same category. They are sorta good to look at but really annoying. I wish they would both go away.

  • I have never seen her in a live interview and granted when you read something it may sound worse or better than when you see the person’s expressions etc. Based on written words, she’s very annoying, the name dropping most of all. I think she might be having going through a tough time in her marriage so she’s overcompensating with all her other “talents” and interests. How humiliating to have her husband hook up with Kate Bosworth. Other than GOOP and Glee, she hasn’t had a successful movie since I can’t even remember…Sliding Doors? I feel sorry for her-she’s lost any relevance she had when she started out (Emma and Shakspeare in Love). She’s a Demi Moore in the making…

  • Really don’t get why people go into hysterics whenever she opens her mouth. Don’t read the shit she says if it offends you. People just get off on hating women. Annoying male celebrities never get that kind of vitriolic hate.