Have you ever been to athletic event for children? Some little league game or what have you? Because as a former athlete myself*, I’ve been to quite a few, and there’s usually some crazy parent there who likes to take things way too seriously. You know, the mom who trash talks kids on the opposing team or the dad who yells at the ref for a bad call.

David Beckham is one of those dads:

Galaxy soccer star, English National Team hero and H&M hottie David Beckham revealed to ITV’s The Jonathan Ross Show in London that he got into it with a referee at his son Romeo’s soccer game—and got kicked off the field for it!

The 36-year-old dad explained: “I was watching the kids play the other day, it was the younger kids of Romeo’s club, and there was a penalty given, and the kids are seven years old and he sent the kid off. And I was like, ‘Come on, he’s seven, referee, you can’t send him off.’”

The referee wasn’t having it.

“He looked at me and was like, ‘Yes, I can.’ And he came over and gave me a red card. He told me to get out of the park. For real. The gate was only 20 yards away and I waited and went back in when my son’s game was on.”

Man, this whole situation sounds like a nightmare.  I mean, I always hated those parents who were way too aggressive towards the referee, and I don’t think that would be fun, no matter who was screaming at you, but to be the referee of a soccer game and having to be yelled at by David “Jesus” Beckham? How do you even handle that? I guess by telling him to take his pretty ass on home, but goodness, that had to have been a little intimidating.

Speaking of intimidating, how about David Beckham’s son? It’s like “oh yeah, my dad’s the biggest soccer star in the whole world, so I guess I’m just going to kick this ball around some. Also, I’m nine.” Maybe I’m just especially bad with feeling pressured, but that would send me right over the edge. If little Romeo Beckham is anything like me, expect him to be requiring a wide variety of therapy and psychiatric meds in about five years.

*I was on the basketball team for one season in the sixth grade. I was a necessity on that team, not because I ever scored a single point the entire season, but because my habit of getting hit in the face with basketballs during practice did a lot to boost my team’s morale so that the players who were actually good, like the girl with one arm, did much better.

Miley Cyrus also wore that outfit up there out in public. Which one is more believable?

Anyway, back in July, you might recall that Miley got a little tattoo: an equality sign on her ring finger. She tweeted a picture of that tattoo, along with a message that said “All LOVE is equal,” and many of her followers through a hissy fit. A few of her fans said that Miley’s message went against her Christian religion, but Miley still stood firm in her beliefs.

As further proof of that, Miley wrote an essay on the topic for Glamour:

Imagine finding someone you love more than anything in the world, who you would risk your life for but couldn’t marry. And you couldn’t have that special day the way your friends do—you know, wear the ring on your finger and have it mean the same thing as everybody else. Just put yourself in that person’s shoes. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

(more…)

Celebrity gossip is a fickle mistress. She likes to hide or twist the truth, and she’s good at it, too. Remember when we were learning of the divorce of Heidi Klum and Seal? That story changed every which way, and that story is still going on today (they’re both still wearing their wedding rings – what does it all mean?!). It’s hard to get things straight sometimes, and that’s what’s been happening with Demi Moore here lately.

On January 23, Demi Moore was rushed to the hospital and her rep said that she was taking some time to “seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion.” The idea was that she was going straight to rehab. Last week, the word was that she was was receiving some “spiritual counseling.” But now, thankfully, we’re back to rehab. Let’s just hope this one’s true:

It appears Demi Moore has taken her “spiritual counseling” to the next level.

E! News has learned exclusively that the Margin Call star has checked into the ultra-posh Cirque Lodge addiction treatment center in Sundance, Utah.

A source tells E! News Moore entered the facility the week following her now infamous Jan. 23 hospitalization, after she suffered seizure-like symptoms during a party at her home in the Benedict Canyon area of Los Angeles.

“She’s on total lockdown and only talking to a small group of people,” the rehab source said, adding that the 49-year-old actress is being treated for both an eating disorder and addiction issues.

Specializing in “individualized addiction treatment,” Cirque Lodge has a reputation for catering to a celebrity clientele, reportedly including the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Eva Mendes and Mary-Kate Olsen.

So how did Moore check into the rehab facility without the media catching wind of it?

We’ve learned that in the days after her hospitalization, Moore gathered her belongings from her home and was whisked off to the mountain retreat in Utah for treatment.

“It became clear to her that her way of coping with her stress was not working and she needed more help,” the source continued.

As we previously reported, Moore had been consulting with an intuitive healer and psychic medium.

Despite speculation that her exes Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher visited Moore at home earlier this week, Moore spent the entire week in Utah.

When reached by E! News, Demi Moore’s rep had no comment.

If Demi Moore has been spending her time going to teenagers’ parties and having seizures from smoking sketchy ass drugs, then there is absolutely no other place she needs to be on this earth than rehab. I sincerely hope this report is true, and that Demi is getting treatment that doesn’t come from a psychic.

My oh my, have things sure changed for Antoine Dodson. When we first heard from him, he was imploring us all to hide our kids, to hide our wives, because they rapin’ e’erbody out here. Then he got busted for driving without insurance and possession of weed. We haven’t heard anything from him for the better part of a year, and just when little Antoine was about to completely and forever slip out of our minds, this happens. “Lovesick Lullabye” happens.

Antoine actually did pretty well here, didn’t he? Better than I expected, anyway. And I know that technology these days is amazing, but don’t you tell me that. Don’t you tell me that this is auto-tuned to hell and back, and don’t you dare tell me that Antoine Dodson needs to stop all this and go back to Lincoln Park. I won’t hear any of it.

See, I believe in people. I believe that if you deserve something, then eventually, one way or another, you’ll get it. And, as you can see by this smooth ass jam, Antoine Dodson deserves to be a star. This is his destiny, and this is only just the beginning.

Did you love “Lovesick Lullaby”? Are you looking forward to the album? Does it bring a tear to your eye to think of how far Antoine has come?

Well, don’t let that thumbs-up fool you, because no, Jack Nicholson isn’t excited about the Super Bowl, which, in case you live under a rock or don’t peruse Facebook for hours a day, is tomorrow. In fact, he’s really not looking forward to it all.

Specifically, Jack said he would rather drink bleach than go to the Super Bowl.

I can definitely see where Jack is coming from on this one. I would hate to go to the Super Bowl as well – there’s too many people, and I’m not into football at all. Also, Madonna is doing the halftime show, and … it’s Madonna. I don’t want to support that.

Taking Jack’s comment a little further though, I decided to come up with a list of things I would rather do than even watch the Super Bowl. I hope those of you who are in the same boat as me can get some ideas of your own about what you can do tomorrow, and I hope those of you who are excited about it can still respect me afterwards.

Instead of watching the Super Bowl, I would rather:

- bake cookies for everyone who lives in my apartment building, even the girl who lives above me who thought it was ok to throw a used tampon applicator in front of my window

- revamp and update my Myspace account

- revamp and update my Xanga account

- write an elaborate Harry Potter fan fiction in which an original character named Emily discovers at the age of 23 that she has magical powers and goes to develop her (exceptionally strong) skills at Hogwarts, where she rides a unicorn

- mop the floors

- take a series of pictures of my guinea pigs with the shitty camera on my phone (I went ahead and started this one, check out the gallery! The black one is Henry, the one with the wacky hair is Aladdin!)

- anything at all, dear God, please don’t make me watch it

What about you guys? You can go ahead and use this post to express your feelings about the upcoming game, your bets, your annoyances, whatever. Have a magical night, and I’ll see you in the morning!

Just to clarify, I’m not saying that Ke$ha is preoccupied with soccer balls or basketballs or footballs, or even ping pong balls, though I’m sure that one’s closer than those other ones (get it? Because I think Ke$ha’s the kind of girl who would want to learn how to shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina). No, I’m saying that Ke$ha is preoccupied with balls, as in testicles, because man, she sure goes on and on about them.

From Glamour:

On having balls: I know that I have balls. I have bigger balls than a lot of the men that I meet. I’m just a ballsy motherf–ker. I’m not afraid of pushing boundaries. That’s what you have to do to become an icon.

On rock music: People say that rock ‘n’ roll is dead, and I am making it my mission to resurrect it. I have rock ‘n’ roll pumping through my veins.

On penises: I’m just very amused by five-year-old humor. Don’t get me wrong: I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It’s like a hobby. I’m like a praying mantis. They f–k me, and then I eat them. But who isn’t amused by a giant, dancing penis? Sometimes when I’m sad, I make my assistant put on the penis outfit and bounce around my house.

On dating: I’m in the middle of writing a new record. I’m taking so many different instrument lessons. I’m also designing animal-friendly jewelry and a fake-fur line. So if a man is not, like, the second coming, then what’s the point? I have other s–t to do.

On body paint: It’s my favorite thing to do. Sometimes I have parties at my house in Nashville and it’s clothing-optional, and we just body-paint each other and run around, and I have a giant bed. I’m very much in touch with that side of myself.

On kids listening to her music: Parents should not let them listen to my music if it’s offensive. I wrote these songs for me.

On makeup and haters: My makeup is usually left over from the night before. I’m not really worried about the photographs because if I tell my fans not to give a f–k about the haters, then I have to practice what I preach. I embrace the imperfections and celebrate them.

On beauty products: I’m coming out with my own line. And I found Bumble and Bumble dry shampoo that is like God’s gift. You don’t have to shower. You just put it in and instantly look like the eighties.

On her style icons: I would love to embody the attitude of Iggy Pop or Keith Richards: a ballsy mentality. Stylistically, I love Vivienne Westwood—those capes! I’m obsessed.

On being an icon: Eventually, I would love to be on my deathbed and looked at as an icon. Right now I’m still at the baby stages of my career. But that is the goal.

I think Ke$ha’s currently in one of those phases where I think she’s kind of ok. I mean, I think the body paint affairs sound like a nightmare, and it concerns me that she would make an employee wear a penis costume for her own amusement, but besides that … well, besides that, she just goes on about being awesome and balls. So maybe I’m not that into her right now after all!

How are you guys feeling? Are you looking forward to her new album at all?