11Hey Selma Blair, Why Don’t You Come Over My House and I’ll Make You a Sandwich, Huh?

Poor, poor Selma Blair, guys. I don’t even know what to say about her anymore except maybe “Holy shit, her xiphoid process just fell out.”

As you can see up top, Selma Blair is out and about with her sixteen-month-old son and she’s looking … well, let’s be honest, here: she looks like a piece of crap de-boned and then re-boned. By a visually impaired person who’s used to doing taxidermy on mollusks—badly. To someone who doesn’t know Selma Blair’s history, she just looks like a new mom whose maybe gone off the deep end a little bit while trying to lose that last five or seven pounds of baby weight. It happens, and you have to catch it quick before it goes from bad to worse, but to people who know Selma Blair’s history? Well, this could be a warning sign of things to come.

See, back in the day, Selma had some issues that required her to stay in rehab for a little while, and while she gave rehab the old college try (she was treated for a total of thirty days) sources close to Selma said that thirty days wasn’t near enough to address the issues that she’s allegedly had for years.

I hope for the sake of that little boy that she’s taking good care of herself, because even if she’s a stellar mom, which I’m sure she is, it’s still one of the most important things to be a healthy stellar mom.

December 17, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

8Selma Blair Is Too Pregnant

We haven’t really covered Selma Blair and her pregnancy too much over here because it’s not like it’s 2001 anymore and I don’t have room in my heart to care about a post-Legally Blonde Selma Blair. Personally, I was going to let her and her baby ride by without commenting (unless she gave the kid a stupid name, then it would just be careless not to), but not anymore. Because Selma’s about to bust and there are pictures.

It turns out that Selma’s baby was due on July 4th. Which, you know, was a couple weeks back. What’s that baby doing in there? Not to be mean, but like, what reason would you have to have an extended stay in Selma Blair’s womb? Angelina Jolie, sure, that makes sense, why WOULDN’T you want to linger in there, but come on, Selma? Again, it’s not 2001, baby. There’s a whole wide world of magic and relevance out here for you to experience.

July 22, 2011 at 3:00 pm by Emily

27It Might Be Time to Head Back to Rehab, Selma

Even though her god-awful show, Kath & Kim, was miraculously picked up for a full season, Selma Blair still looks like bad news, out shopping in Hollywood today.

Aw, Selma.

Matt Felker may have moved on long ago, but Promises is still there, sweetie, just like you remember it. You won’t get Britney Spears as your roommate this time, but they still have the same awesome oatmeal raisin cookies and ocean view. Think about taking it seriously this time.

November 3, 2008 at 11:31 pm by Evil Beet

13Selma Blair may have to turn to Katie Holmes impersonating

I find it strange how there are so many actors that look like each other.  Are they trying to do this thinking they are going to steal the others career?   Here’s a picture of Katie Holmes last night at the “All my sons” Broadway opening, and a picture of Selma Blair doing her best Katie impersonation in February.  Selma should have gone after Tom Cruise while he was scouting.    Selma must be pissed.  Katie beat her out for the role of Joey on Dawson’s Creek too.   Home girl can’t catch a break.  Now Katie beat her out of her own look.  Selma’s new show has been quoted as one of the worst shows ever to appear on television. So if that show gets canceled at least she can have a career on youtube as a Katie Holmes impersonator.   There was a youtube video yesterday of Selma trying her best to be funny (I emphasize “trying”)  It was making fun of the paparazzi I think and how they are a pain in the ass.  I don’t think anyone in the media really cares about Selma so I missed the point completely.  It would have made sense if Madonna or a real celebrity did it.  First we have a terrible TV show and now a really stupid you tube video looking  like an desperate attempt to get some media attention. It was a tad John Mayerish for my taste. John Mayer although is actually semi amusing at times.  Selma hasn’t a drop of funny in her.  If you don’t believe me, tune in to Kath and Kim  on NBC.   I see a bright future for her on youtube.  Move over Lonleygirl15.   Selma Blair is going to steal your career just like she stole Katie Holmes’ identity.  I would post the video, but it’s so painfully bad I won’t waste more of your time than I just did.

October 17, 2008 at 11:43 am by BonerBob

38Selma Blair’s Look: Love It or Leave It?

At a party to celebrate her cover of Los Angeles Confidential magazine.

August 25, 2008 at 7:30 am by Evil Beet

5Who Knew They Were Friends?

Ashley Olsen and Selma Blair get up close and personal at the Kiki De Montparnasse Los Angeles store opening.

December 4, 2007 at 12:27 am by Evil Beet