Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin launches her own TV “news” channel

sarah palin

If there’s one person I never, ever want to hear the news filtered through, it’s Sarah Palin. The woman exists on her own plane of non-reality and is so supremely ignorant on so many topics that I can’t begin to list them all. That’s why it makes perfect sense for her to start her own TV news channel, I suppose, aptly called the Sarah Palin Channel.

From Digital Spy:

The former Republican vice presidential candidate has set up the subscription-based website to speak “directly” to the public, without having to “please the powers that be”.The Sarah Palin Channel launched on Sunday (July 27) and already features videos on Russian President Vladimir Putin, as well as a quote of the day.

She has also included a running tally of the national debt and a countdown timer of the days left for Barack Obama’s administration.

In addition to her political life, Palin has appeared as a Fox News Channel contributor.

Full access to the Sarah Palin Channel costs $9.95 (£5.86) a month or $99.95 (£58.84) a year.

I suppose it only makes sense that one of the first figures she features on her channel is Putin, since she can see Russia from her back yard and all.

Here’s a video announcing this travesty. I hope this thing fails IMMEDIATELY. The last thing we need is even more batshit crazy “politicians” spreading their bullshit. Thankfully you’d have to be an idiot to pay to see this anyway, so the rest of the world can finally live in a dose of Palin’s blissful ignorance without it.

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Sarah Palin Thinks the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Homophobia Is No Biggie

sarah palin duck dynasty

I don’t watch Duck Dynasty – I don’t even know what the show’s about, to be honest – but I do know it’s gotten massive popular and people seem to love it. Well, one of the stars of the show, Phil Robertson, gave an interview with GQ recently in which he made a bunch of anti-gay remarks that got him suspended indefinitely from the show. Here’s what he said, for reference:

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

“It seems like, to me, a vagina – as a man – would be more desirable than a man’s anus. [But] we never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ‘em, give ‘em the good news about Jesus – whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ‘em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

LOL, okay. You keep praying to your invisible sky fairy then, Grandpappy. I mean, listen – there’s no doubt that this bro doesn’t like gay people and is homophobic. However, it’s kinda that passive redneck bullshit. He’s a 67-year-old man from Louisiana who also thinks that black people were never treated poorly before the Civil Rights movement. We’re not exactly dealing with an Einstein here. Unfortunately, this kind of ignorance and hate is some of the most harmful because it’s so passive, but I doubt we’re going to solve any world issues here, so let’s leave that.

The important thing is, Pat has found a friend who supports his rights to speak out in intolerance, and that’s none other than our pal Sarah Palin, who felt it so important an issue, she took to her Facebook page to voice her feelings.

Free speech is an endangered species. Those “intolerants” hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.

Well, that’s that, I suppose.

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Sarah Palin’s Back and She’s Writing a Book About Christ-Mas

sarah palin

If you were just about at the end of your 12-step program to forget Sarah Palin exists in this world, I’m sorry to bring you back down again. The former Alaskan governor and VP candidate has found another way to ruin your life: by ruining Christmas and writing a book about how much more Jesus it needs.

A Happy Holiday Is a Merry Christmas will include some private Palin family Christmas activities/observances and will probably make you hate the month of December if you look at it, so I’d avoid it. Here’s what she said about the project in a statement:

“Amidst the fragility of this politically correct era, it is imperative that we stand up for our beliefs before the element of faith in a glorious and traditional holiday like Christmas is marginalised and ignored.

“This will be a fun, festive, thought provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas.”

Listen lady, Christmas shopping is the biggest coup for the retail industry in history, so the holiday is hardly “marginalised and ignored”, nor are the people who celebrate it. Second of all, ever heard of “freedom of religion”? That means that not everyone shares your beliefs about Baby Jesus and angels and whatever other stuff floats your boat. You’re free to observe however you wish, of course, and hopefully you and your loved ones enjoy those celebrations, but to act like you’re “ignored” for being a Christian is bullshit. If it were true, your Christian values wouldn’t be attempting to tell women how to govern their own bodies, couples who can and cannot get married… I mean, need I go on?

All that being said, I’m a Christmas freak. I love the music, the movies, the twinkly lights, THE FOOD, the wrapping of presents, all of it. But I don’t love it for religious reasons – he’s hardly the “reason for the season” for most people these days – but because it’s great to have the day off work and spend time with people you love, getting fat on delicious food and exchanging gifts. That’s enough for me.

Oh, and Sarah Palin is the worst.

Quotables: Bristol Palin Disses Julianne Moore

A photo of Bristol Palin

“I don’t think she’s a good interpreter of my mom. I think my mom is way hotter than that.”

- Bristol Palin discusses Julianne Moore‘s portrayal of Sarah Palin in that HBO movie, Game Change. Bristol went on to say that “I think she doesn’t have that accent. It’s kind of silly, but my mom’s awesome.”

Are we really doing this, Bristol? Is this seriously going to happen?


A photo of Julianne Moore and Sarah Palin

Double boom:

A photo of Sarah Palin and Julianne Moore

I didn’t see the movie, so I can’t really comment on Julianne’s acting (though she is a good actor, so, you know, there’s that), but as for the comment that Sarah Palin is “way hotter” than that? Girl. Bristol, honey. No. Just no.

Sarah Palin’s Alright and Stuff, But I Have No Idea What She Means When She Talks

photo of hot sarah palin pictures photos hot politicians pics

By “alright and stuff,” I mean “she hasn’t blown up any small countries” and “she’s never been charged with domestic abuse.” That kind of alright, you know? I’m not saying, like, I want to be her friend or anything, so to those who really, really despise her: please don’t get your panties in a wad.

Palin‘s latest comment with regard to President Obama’s debt talks confuses me. Here:

“I’m excited to try some of that famous fried butter-on-a-stick, fried cheesecake-on-a-stick, fried Twinkies, etc. I’ll enjoy [the fried food] in honor of those who’d rather make us just ‘eat our peas.’ “

Sarah Palin is on her way to the Iowa State Fair, where apparently fried butter (… what the hell?) is a staple. And she’s excited about it, clearly. Anyhoo, the comment of President Obama’s that she’s responding to is this:

“It’s not going to get easier. It’s going to get harder. So we might as well do it now: Pull off the Band-Aid, eat our peas. Now is the time to do it.”

So, um. Can anyone shine some light on this absolute sphincter of a comment from Sarah Palin’s mouth? Am I the only one who has absolutely no clue as to what this all means?

Quotables: Sarah Palin Knows What You’re Up To, Hollywood

photo of sarah palin at a book signing pictures photos pics

“It makes you want to reach out to some of these folks and say, ‘What’s your problem? And what was the problem? And what is the problem?’ What would make someone be so full of hate? What would make a celebrity, like you saw onscreen, so hate someone that they’d seek their destruction, their death, the death of their children? What would make someone be so full of hate and, I guess, a sense of being threatened that they would want to see that person destroyed?”

Sarah Palin, reaching out and trying to touch those celebrities who have spoken out against her in the past. Like Margaret Cho. And Rosie O’Donnell. Matt Damon. I could go on, but there’s no real reason to revisit 2008.

I get what Sarah’s saying, but that’s going to be with anyone. I know she’s made a serious effort of trying to be a politician in the past, but if girlfriend doesn’t realize that what she’s talking about is EXACTLY the kind of day-to-day stuff a Serious Politician goes through, she’s a little bit more naive than I thought. Likable, yes. Very. But she’s got a bit more to learn of the dark side than I originally assumed.

What would YOU do if Sarah Palin were to emerge and clinch the Republican nomination for 2012?

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