Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mary-Kate Olsen

So Mary-Kate Olsen Has a New Boyfriend

photo of olivier sarkozy and mary-kate olsen pictures
And are you familiar with the surname ‘Sarkozy’? As in, you know, maybe former French President, Nicolas Sarkozy? Well it’s not him. Sorry. But it is rumored to be his half-brother, Olivier Sarkozy, who is the forty-two year-old managing director of Carlyle Financial, a global asset management group who is worth a pretty penny himself.

From the New York Post:

… Sources say the former French president’s 42-year-old younger half-brother, who’s managing director of the Carlyle Group, has been seeing 25-year-old Olsen for about a month, and they’re “head over heels” for one another. The couple was spotted in the Hamptons over Memorial Day weekend. Olsen dated artist Nate Lowman for two years until splitting in 2010. Divorced Olivier dated Schnabel for more than a year before they parted in March. Neither Sarkozy nor a rep for Olsen responded to us.

Well. Let’s just say that little Mary-Kate‘s not doing it for the money, that’s for sure. Us magazine has also picked up the news, stating that they have a “source” who’s confirming the odd pairing:

“It’s true, they’re dating, and she’s definitely interested in him. MK is constantly complaining about boys not being mature enough for her. She got the kids out of her system. Now being a businesswoman dominates her time, and she is rarely impressed with guys. … They are good for each other.”

… Wonder if he watched a lot of ‘Full House’ when he was in his twenties, hey?

Love It or Leave It: Mary-Kate Olsen’s … “Fashion”

photo of mary kate olsen new york city shopping 2012 pics
You guys, I’m not going to pretend to know what Mary-Kate Olsen‘s been up to lately. I’m sure it’s probably all the same anyway—high fashion photo shoots, seeing how many Marlboros one can smoke in one sitting, avoiding trans fats, slowly killing promising actors via illegally-acquired prescription pills*, and shopping at Alfred Dunner and thrift stores.

But since we haven’t spoken about Mary-Kate Olsen in, oh, about a minute (lie: it’s actually been over a year since we last talked about Mary-Kate Olsen), I figured I’d dig up some more dirt on her, and since the only interesting thing that’s happened to her in the last decade besides that one sandwich and the aforementioned Heath Ledger thing (*that was about Heath Ledger, you know), I’m going to talk about the Heath Ledger thing again since the sandwich is just old news. From the Gothamist:

Did you read the story of the alleged father-son pimp team working a livery-based “brothel on wheels” and think ‘eh, needs more celebrity?’ Well, you asked for it. Let’s throw a little Mary Kate Olsen and Heath Ledger into the mix.

As the Daily News notes, yesterday was the arraignment for 14 alleged johns accused of using the hooker services provided by Vincent George Jr. and Sr. And of those arraigned was a 40-year-old man named Dale Araten who told investigators he “works as a concierge for an entertainment company.” That company? Dualstar, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s entertainment outfit. Oh, and also? Aratan was one of the guards Olsen sent to the apartment of Heath Ledger when he overdosed in 2008. So, there you go.

See, it’s like the Six Degrees of Being a Snarky Little Shit Who Thinks She’s Better Than Everyone But Really Just Accidentally Kills Anyone Worth Anything Because Michelle Williams is Way Cuter. Amazing how you can tie these things all together sometimes. Also, high-class people Mary-Kate rubs elbows with there, huh?

Love It or Leave It: The Olsens Visit The Opera

A photo of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

If I had to make a list of my top ten favorite things in this world, the top five would probably include “dressing up” and Pretty Woman. You know what that means, right?  I would kill to go to a fancy opera premiere.  Ok, I’ll be real, I’d only kill if the opera involved Richard Gere escorting me and giving me beautiful jewelry, but still, I would very much enjoy a fancy opera.  With all that being said, I think you can understand why this photo of Mary Kate and Ashley at the Metropolitan Opera is like a knife to the heart.

I know the Olsens have always been wacky with their style, but come on now.  This looks like shit you find at the Goodwill that makes you sad because someone’s grandma obviously just died and donated all her fashion to the less fortunate, and that’s a heavy thought that no one wants on their night out at the opera.  How rude, right?

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Do Something Besides Dress Up Like Hobos and Wander Around New York City

photo of black and white mary kate and ashley olsen for vogue magazine 2011

I’m getting to the point in this life where instead of automatically thinking Full House or ‘You killed Heath Ledger you bitch,’ I think ‘NYC hobos’ whenever I see Mary Kate and Ashley. And not even, like, well-dressed hobos. The ones that you see on bum fights, which is totally not cool. I am not an advocate of bum fights, and I think filming it and jamming it on YouTube is a really fucking awful thing to do, but I’d love to see these two little mini-hobos duking it out in a back alley of New York City. One would be all like, ‘You stole my boyfriend, bitch,’ and the other would say, ‘I didn’t steal him, he just THOUGHT I WAS YOU, and I WAS DRUNK,’ and then they’d fight about who has a lesser tolerance for alcohol and a higher tolerance for cocaine and pills, and the shit about the boyfriend would start all over again.

Anyway, MK and Ashley were interviewed by Vogue, of course, on their twin habits and what life’s been like since they stopped churning out all of those budget Miley Cyrus movies like Here We Have Two Similar-Looking Girls and They’re Going to Go On Vacation and Do Zany Things But Have Good Clean Fun While They Do So or whatever they’re called, and whatever else involves being twins and fashion designers for something other than Walmart clothing lines.

Mary-Kate on being so close: “Some of our memories are shared. We don’t know what actually happened to whom. One of us was stung by a bee, but we can’t remember who, because we both felt it.” (Um, maybe you just BOTH got stung? Bee stings aren’t, you know, all that uncommon these days.)

Ashley on not having formal training to design fashions: “Fair question, but Dualstar started when we were six. And we had a collection with Walmart at twelve, which was the upper tier of the tween market. It was before celebrity designers. And we were really designing it. It would be jeans, a bit bohemian, or with a little blazer. It was really fashion-forward.”

On being in the public eye: “The press here in New York respect you more. It was the worst in Los Angeles when we got our license. They would follow us. They knew where we lived. And you don’t know who these people are. People just out of jail.”

On being young and stalked: “We are paranoid,” Mary-Kate states, glancing out the window. But isn’t that not paranoia, because what you’re imagining is what’s happening? “Well,” she responds, “we have no way to tell the difference.”

Ashley on the clothes-sharing that you just KNOW is happening: “There’s hers, there’s mine. And a huge ‘maybe’ pile.”

OK, so what we appear to have here is a couple of well-adjusted (?) child stars that emerged successfully from child- and teen-stardom and transitioned nicely into adulthood. And you know what? Given child star history and statistics, that’s probably the creepiest thing about these two.

Have The Olsen Twins Had Work Done?

So here’s something I’ve been wondering for like, five years now: Have the Olsen Twins had something done to their faces?

I know, I know, they grew up in the public eye, so obviously we’ve seen their faces morph quite a bit since their Full House days, but do the little girls in the left photo up top look like younger versions of the girls in the right photo? I’m thinkin’ no. A couple of nose jobs? Maybe. Some veneers? Probably. And obviously their penchant for extensions and trying out new hair colors has had an overall effect on their look… but I can’t be positive if any of this is right. Most of the plastic surgery we see is so blatant that it’s hard to pick up on the well done stuff.

What kind of work do you think Mary-Kate and Ashley have had done, if any? I could talk about this all day, so feel free to get really into this with me…

Love It or Leave It: Mary-Kate Olsen Comes Out of My Grandmother’s Closet With an Armful of Clothing

photo of mary kate olsen in new york city weird outfit pictures

When I was much, much younger, and the knowledge that TWO GIRLS played the part of Michelle on one of my favorite shows, Full House, was not yet known to me, I thought that the poor, troll-looking little girl in the show had just the WEIRDEST, LONGEST name ever. I mean, ‘Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen’? Didn’t exactly have a ring to it and I used to roll my eyes dramatically whenever I’d see the credits.

See? Even back then, at the tender age of seven or whatever, I was a snarky bitch, but I’ll admit – I was probably every bit as troll-looking as Mary-Kate and Ashley are today were back then, too.

So here we have Mary-Kate lurking in the streets of New York, looking like she raided a reduced-for-final-sale bargain bin at the Alfred Dunner outlet, and of course, I hate it, even as the ghost of my dearly departed grandmother stands behind me and knuckleballs the back of my head for taking the name of Alfred Dunner in vain.

Sorry, MK. Can’t win ‘em all.

Caption This and Pick Out the Homeless Person

photo of mary kate olson in new york city with a friend pictures

So the second half of that question was totally a trick question – neither of these people are homeless.  I really questioned the girl, but a dude that high-brow and polished-looking wouldn’t be seen out in public with someone who was the embodiment of scabies, right?