Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kris Humphries

Of Course Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Are Fighting Over The Ring

A photo of Kim Kardashian

From Radar:

Kris Humphries wants the gigantic engagement ring back that he gave to Kim Kardashian, but the reality star is steadfastly refusing to return it to her husband of just 72 days, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

As we previously reported, the basketball player scored a huge discount on the massive bauble, which was valued at a retail price of $2 million, but he still splashed out a cool $750,000 of his hard earned cash for the stunning 20.5 carat diamond Lorraine Schwartz ring, and believes Kardashian should do the right thing and give it back.

“Kris is adamant that he wants the ring back,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “And it’s becoming a real sticking point between his and Kim’s attorneys. She has made it plain that she has no intention of returning it though and feels she is within her legal right to refuse as she went through with the wedding. However, Kris contends that the marriage was a total sham and that Kim only wed him for publicity so therefore she has no right to keep such an expensive gift.

“Kris doesn’t understand why Kim would even want to keep the ring anyway. It obviously has no sentimental value as she has publicly declared their wedding as ‘a huge mistake’ and she certainly doesn’t need the money, so why doesn’t she just return it to him?”

Oh my god, this isn’t even fun anymore. These two have been trying to get divorced for longer than they’ve been together: their entire relationship, the meeting, the dating, the engagement, and the marriage all took place within one year, and they’ve been separated since last Halloween. It’s ridiculous. It’s not even good gossip, it’s just frustrating. It’s not like Kim or Kris are really going to suffer without the money or the sentiment of this stupid gaudy ring. Who the f-ck cares. I just want to see Kanye testify in court, that is literally the only thing I care about in regards to this dumb divorce.

It’s All Happening to Kim, Kanye, and Kris All at Once

photo of kris humphries kanye west and kim kardashian
Hey, did you guys hear? Kris Humphries got kicked out of a basketball game last night in Boston. Here’s a clip of Kris and Rajon Rondo shoving one another, because OOH BADASS shoving:

Bunch of f-cking morons. Yes, let’s push one another into the crowd so that innocent bystanders get injured, because that’s thoughtful. Losers.

Anyway, this is what Kim Kardashian is contending with as her divorce continues to chug right along (making almost no progress whatever)—and the fact that Kanye West is being dragged into proceedings again. What’s happening now (aside from more nothing) is that Kris is still insisting that Kim orchestrated the entire relationship and subsequent marriage for television ratings, and Kris’s team subpoenaed Kanye West in order to testify under oath (of course) that he, as a close, personal friend of Kim’s, never knew anything about her plan.

Personally, DUH, of course Kim married this dickhead for ratings, because it’s not like he’s got this shining personality full of selflessness and integrity (as demonstrated on the basketball court), and honestly, I don’t even know why that’s even being contested. It’s no wonder Kris gets squdouche in the pre-nup, because she knew that she was going to divorce his ass anyway. But naturally, Kim’s team claim that Kris is dragging the whole thing out and ordered Kris and his team to stop all the stalling.

The trial is set for February 15th, a day after the most romantic day in the whole entire world*, and won’t that be just a joy to behold.

*Don’t. You know better.

Kris Humphries Is Getting Sued for Having Herpes

A photo of Kris Humphries

Or, more specifically, Kris Humphries is getting sued for having herpes and then having sex with someone else and thus transferring some of his herpes to a new home. You can’t get sued for just having herpes. I think.

From TMZ:

Kayla Goldberg claims she met Kris in August, 2010 at the Newsroom Cafe on Robertson Blvd in L.A. — long before Kris met Kim Kardashian. The two flirted, exchanged numbers, and Kayla claims that night they met up at Trousdale nightclub on the Sunset Strip.

According to the suit, Kris came on to Kayla, touching, kissing and dancing with her. Kayla claims he took her to his hotel and they had sex multiple times … including oral sex. The suit claims during a portion of the sexual encounter Kris did not wear a condom.

The lawsuit claims Kris did not inform Kayla he had herpes — and she claims in the suit that he did indeed have the disease.

Kayla says a week later she was diagnosed with herpes. Her symptoms included a sore throat, fever, body aches and immobilizing pain, as well as extreme vaginal irritation and painful lesions on her genitalia.

She’s suing for sexual battery claiming Kris knew he had herpes when they hooked up and didn’t tell her.

Kayla — who put her full name in the lawsuit — is suing for unspecified damages.

Well, ok, bullshit. I mean, it’s obviously wrong to have unprotected sex with someone without telling them you have an STD. That’s a pretty shitty move. But if you’re going to have sex with someone, especially someone that you’re not in a committed relationship with, you should probably wear a condom, you know? Because right or wrong, you can’t trust some dude who’s trying to hook up with you to tell you upfront if he has any friends down below. You’ve got to look out for yourself.

And I’m saying this as someone who doesn’t have herpes (swearsies!), but I didn’t think herpes was that big of a deal. I’m sure it’s not super fun, but there are definitely worse STDs to get. And that’s why you wear a raincoat, kids. I know, I know, if you wear a raincoat, you can’t feel the rain, but you have to remember that sometimes the rain has gonorrhea.

Oh, but Kris Humphries wants you to know that he doesn’t even have herpes. So carry on, friends.