Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Khloe Kardashian

Kim Kardashian: “I Hate to Talk About Myself”

A photo of the Kardashian family and Oprah Winfrey

Oh wow. This is too rich, it really is. Last night the second part of Oprah‘s interview with the Kardashians aired, and Kim actually said that she hates to talk about herself. Goodness gracious, what a joke.

Let’s break down the interview and see if we can find any other gems, shall we?

- When Kim was asked about Kanye, she said that “I don’t know why it took us so long to get together. I think we’ve always had an attraction to each other…one day it just happened. It took me by surprise.” She also said that Kanye is what she’s looking for in a man, which is hilarious to me, but that she’s “apprehensive” to talk about the relationship.

- Apparently Oprah wanted to talk about Kanye for a while, because she also asked Kim if their relationship was a publicity stunt. Kim’s response? “No. It’s your heart you’re playing with. I couldn’t sacrifice my heart for a publicity stunt.”

- Also, we’re all so totally wrong about what Kim’s all about. She’s not some mindless spoiled brat, ok? “I hardly drink, I go to church on Sundays,” says Kim. “I’m so far removed from my image.”

- Then she said something kind of cryptic about marriage and Kanye: “I’m not thinking about marriage right now,” says Kim. “To have him (Kanye) in my life this way, says a lot about us.”

- But Kim, please, tell us how pretty you are! Oprah asked her if she knew that she was beautiful, which is when Kim said that she hates talking about herself because “I’m so critical.” Since you’re all on pins and needles, Kim admitted that she’s pretty, but she wouldn’t call herself beautiful.

- Khloe and Lamar got some time in with Oprah too, and Khloe told her that they’re “always trying” to get pregnant.

- Oprah asked Scott Disick an amazing question: what’s the hardest thing to watch in the shows? He responded with “I would probably just say maybe Kourtney crying, one, two, maybe a million times.” Good answer, now if he could work on not being a jackass.

- And does Bruce Jenner have any regrets? “The only thing, the whole (Kim and Kris) wedding thing,” says Bruce. “We went so overboard on that. And, the way it turned out and everything. … And, because I mean at the time it was honest, it was love, it was exact, I mean, I was all in, you know? But then it turned so quickly.”

Bless you, Oprah. Bless you for this.

Look, More Quotes from Oprah’s Interview with The Kardashians!

A photo of Oprah Winfrey and the Kardashians

I can’t tell you why I’m so excited for the legendary Oprah Winfrey to interview all of the Kardashians, but I really, really am. Maybe it’s because I want to hear Kim talk about the divorce. Maybe it’s because I’m excited to see the whole family together. Or maybe it’s because I like to pretend that Khloe is my best friend, and besties totally support besties. I don’t know.

Regardless of the reason, my excitement remains the same. Or it did, until I read new quotes from the interview. After that my excitement shot way up, as if that was even possible.

It’s no secret that Kris Jenner is very hands on when it comes to her kids’ careers.

But does the momager overdo it as a manager and forsake her role as a mom when doing business with the Kardashian kids? In an OWN special airing Sunday, Oprah Winfrey sat down with Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloé Kardashian Odom and Rob Kardashian and asked what they thought about claims their mom was “pimping her children.”

“I think that’s so ridiculous,” Kim said. “First of all, we have to hire a manager. So regardless, someone is going to get that [job].

“No one will fight harder for you than your own mother,” she added. “She knows us. She knows all of our moods…We just get each other. We vibe. It works.”

The OWN mogul then moved on to another touchy topic: Would the Kardashians would be running an empire and enjoying the success they have today if they weren’t “good-looking kids?”

“Well,” Rob started, pointing to his three older sisters. “They’re not, like, skinny women.” (Khloé, of course, put her little bro in check, asking, “Who are you?” and sarcastically telling him, “You’re so sweet.”)

“I mean in today’s society, yeah, to be honest, probably not,” Lamar Odom’s lovely wife answered. “You have to have this bombshell over here [Kim] and this petite little bundle of joy [Kourtney] and this hunk next to me [Rob].” (For the record, Khloé, you majorly factor into that gorgeousness equation!)

“But we are all different,” Kourtney added. “We have different body types.”

“But I don’t think [our success] would’ve happened if we were all like skinny, pretty models,” Kim reasoned. “I think it has to do with us, the curves, the dark hair!”

She also thinks that the sisters “helped broaden” the representation of Middle-Eastern women in mainstream media, giving them a niche role as they rose to fame.

So. Excited.

Khloe Kardashian Is Starting Fertility Treatments

A photo of Khloe Kardashian

From Us Weekly:

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are ready to focus on their family.

A source confirmed to Us Weekly Wednesday that Kardashian, 27, recently began fertility treatments at a Los Angeles clinic. “She’s finally doing this because she has the time now that she’s in L.A. full-time again,” the insider reveals.

In April, the lovebirds of almost three years “pulled the plug” on their Keeping Up With the Kardashians spinoff, Khloe and Lamar, following their brief move to Dallas. (The pair relocated to the Texas city after Odom, 32, was traded from the L.A. Lakers to the Dallas Mavericks. He didn’t perform well there and was dropped from the team after just a few months.)

At the time, a source told Us that the duo wanted to focus on getting Odom’s career back on track during their break from reality TV — but another, even more important, priority for the pair was starting a family of their own.

“They really want to have a baby and are trying everything,” an insider confided last month. “Now that they’re back home in L.A., they can work on that more. Privately.”

Kardashian has long been vocal about her desire to start a family with Odom, whom she wed after a quickie, one-month engagement in 2009.

“It’s so hard. I never knew about ovulation and the limited amount of time you have to get pregnant  . . . No one ever taught me that,” she shared during a Today show appearance last fall. “We would love to have kids. But when you have schedules such as ours, it’s really hard to hit that mark.

Continued the E! star, “So it’s frustrating, but definitely. I want to have kids.”

Is it just me, or is anyone else super excited for Khloe to be a mother? She’s wanted it for so long, so I’m sure it’s exciting for her that she’s finding time to focus on this, but also I just think she’s be a really, really cute mom. Not Jessica Simpson cute, but cute nonetheless. Plus, it would give so many people an opportunity to judge pregnant ladies for their bodies, and that’s always a good time, huh?

Music and Video to Slit Your Wrists To on This Fine Sunday

Ahem. By the numbers, now, shall we?

:32 (this is going to be a long one, guys). Already I want to kill myself. How am I going to make it through the remaining four-plus minutes? Pack it in and hold on folks.

:41. Good thing Kendall and Kylie Jenner have their MOM to teach them how to dance like little whores on a boat. These two have a long road of fun cut out for them, let me tell you.

:55. Who are the wannabe-Kardashians? And why would anyone WANT to be a Kardashian?

1:11. KIM. PUT YOUR ASS AWAY.

1:18. Scott Disick is officially an embarrassment to all white men ’round the world.

1:22. KIM. WE KNOW IT’S YOU. PUT YOUR ASS AWAY.

1:27. Weird Kardashian brother. Stop pretending that you don’t want to hump Kim’s ass, weird Kardashian brother.

1:33. MY EYES! I’M F-CKING BLIND! BLIND! BLIND!!!!!!!!

2:12. … Still recovering. And only Kim Kardashian would spray tan in the Dominican Republic.

2:27. Told you it was Kim’s ass.

2:40. “Have sex on rugs that’s Persian.” Let me guess: YOU’RE PERSIAN, KIM, AREN’T YOU.

3:15. One of those Jenner girls probably has skin cancer today.

3:16. … And Bruce Jenner was definitely about to slap her ass.

3:22. Wait. Where’s Khloe and Lamar?

3:56. Why can’t this ship just sink?

4:13. Wait. Kourtney’s water just broke? LIARS.

4:17. Kris Jenner is really classy spouting “motherf-cker” all over the place.

And that, guys? Is how you get shit done on a Sunday morning. Dear God.

Hooray, It’s Another Kardashian Lingerie Ad!

A photo of Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian

Aww, bless your hearts! It’s been over a month since we last showed you any new lingerie ads featuring those lovable Kardashians! I know you’ve been just sick over this, and I know that you can’t bring yourself to purchase a piece of lingerie or swimwear until you’ve seen it modeled on the body of a Kardashian woman. I’m truly sorry for this, and it will never happen again, if I can help it.

But instead of prolonging your heartache even more, let’s go ahead and discuss the photo, all right?

It’s pretty similar to the other ads in a couple of ways. Khloe, despite being covered up (again), is the first thing your eye, or at least my eye, goes to in the photo. She’s also the fiercest Kardashian, by far. Kim and her rack look way Photoshopped. And Kourtney, well … she’s there. I appreciate Kourtney and everything, but this just doesn’t seem like her thing.

And just because I feel bad that it’s been so long since you’ve seen one of these ads, I have an extra bit of Kardashian news for you: they’re not going anywhere! We already knew that they signed a contract for three more seasons, but last week, we pondered if people still cared about them. Guess what: they do! The premiere of the seventh season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which aired on Sunday, had nearly three million viewers, which was up 16% from the last season premiere. So yeah, their popularity is apparently on the rise. So drink that in for a moment.

Did you guys watch the show on Sunday? Are you going to make a purchase from the Kardashian Kollection? Are you still trying to boycott this family? Let’s talk about it!

Love It or Leave It: Khloe Kardashian’s Star-Spangled Donk

photo of khloe kardashian pictures
Man, guys, doesn’t Khloe Kardashian just look amazing? We keep trying to hammer the point into your heads over and over again, and this post will not be an exception: Khloe Kardashian is the best Kardashian. It’s like she’s not even a Kardashian, except for the pesky fact that she’s, you know, always with the Kardashians. I mean, she really isn’t a Kardashian after all, and maybe—just maybe!—that’s the Freudian reason behind why she’s generally so appealing. Hook, line, and sinker, and I’m buying it, OK?

Even recently, Khloe isn’t behaving like a real Kardashian. You know how Kim and Kanye are doing that whole “dating” thing? Well Khloe here grew some balls and—I think—passive-aggressively insulted her sister’s relationship with the most obnoxious man on the face of the earth. What did she say? Well, this:

“Kanye and Kim, they are kind of like two peas in a pod.”

Oh man. Tell me that’s not, like, the worst insult you could possibly heap upon someone who was used as a personal urinal for public consumption? Khloe was overheard saying this to Kourtney on an upcoming episode of ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’, and I don’t think Khloe fully realizes how deliciously backhanded the comment directed at Kim actually was. I f-cking love it. And I love Khloe, or, at least would if she wasn’t hanging around those twits all the f-cking time.

But despite my semi-false love for her, though, we have Khloe wearing … well, really bad pants. Don’t get me wrong: they fit her well and they make her tall, statuesque figure look frankly amazing, but really? Light blue jeans with white stars all over them? Where’d she get those, Michael Jackson’s Pepsi commercial dressing room closet? Because UGH.

I guess I can let the bad pants slide, guys, no pun intended. I mean, it’s way, way better than some of the other things she’s worn over the last year, and it could really be way, way worse than just rocking starry dungarees. She could be wearing Kim‘s worn-ass leather pants, for f-ck’s sake, and do you know where those’ve been?

Quotables: Khloe Predicts How Long The Kardashians Will Last

A photo of Khloe Kardashian

“I hope they’ll want to film me in my old-folks home, where my kids will probably put me because I’ll be too evil. They’ll be changing my diapers on television.”

- Khloe Kardashian lets us in on when she thinks they’ll stop filming their reality shows.

To bring the point home, here’s what Kim added:

“We’ve always said we’ll stop when it stops being fun. We’re having such a good time, so there’s really no point stopping now.”

Yesterday I asked if people were beginning to lose interest in the Kardashians, based on the fact that no one wanted to pay money for the pictures of Kourtney Kardashian‘s baby shower. It’s not clear if that’s true or not just yet, but if it is, and even if it isn’t, I guess, won’t it be so sad when the Kardashian empire krumbles? I don’t mean sad as in “oh, we’ll miss you guys so much!” but sad as in “wow, it’s really awkward to see you guys being so desperate.” I could definitely see Kris Jenner bursting into tears and getting on her knees, begging anyone at all to please take interest in her family again, and I shudder to think the kinds of things that Kim would do for more publicity.

What I’m saying is that as much as I love Khloe, there’s no way that anyone will be filming her when she’s old enough to be put into a nursing home. Well, unless it’s Kim, lumbering into her room with her walker, trying to keep her video camera steady. And that’s an image I really don’t want to think too hard about this early in the morning.

But how would you feel if Keeping Up with the Kardashians was on television for the rest of your life?