Today's Evil Beet Gossip

See You Next Time

I’m not even sure how to go about writing my last EvilBeet post ever, but I figured I’d kick it off with an embedded YouTube video of a song that’s brought me a lot of happiness in my lifetime, especially while I was drunk. It’s Friday, you know? Let’s not overlook that in an attempt to make this more than it is.

The last few years working for EvilBeet has been a complete pleasure. When I first started here, Lady Gaga wasn’t even a thing. She was just some topless NYC lounge singer. Pretty wild to think about a time before Gaga, huh? But that’s how long it’s been.

I’m still legally obligated to keep my big mouth shut about my new job (but I hope that when I can share this news that you’re updated. You know, if you care) but I’m terribly excited to start a new chapter of my life while also being incredibly sad to leave you all. I don’t think you’re worried, but if you are, you’re in very good hands here with Sarah and Emily. Their work always made my day brighter and challenged me to improve mine on days when I’d had it up to my hair follicles with the gossip grind.

I loved you all, even if you didn’t love me at times. I appreciate any eyes that look at my writing and evilbeetdouche, my favorite commenter (I can say that now because I no longer work here), you crack my shit up on the daily. Keep doing you.

If you want to keep up with me, feel free to do so on my blog, my Twitter or my new website, HelloGiggles.

Oh Snap! Why Does Ben Affleck Have a Black Eye and What Does It Have To Do With Blake Lively?

Picture of Ben Affleck with a Black Eye

Ben Affleck was photographed out in Los Angeles with his wifey yesterday and yo! People are immediately jumping to the conclusion that the mark is a result of the Blake Lively nudes being released.

People have been saying for awhile that there’s a chance Ben and Blake got their swerve on while filming The Town, and now that those nudes are floating around everywhere and Blake’s totally sporting the same fake tatts in them that she did in the movie, it makes even more sense. Yeah, her rep claims the photos are fake, but a lot of reps are fake, too. If you asked me, I’d say those pictures are the real deal.

Here’s what I wanna know: Did Jennifer Garner lay that thing on him? Because if so, that is tight! I knew she used to do a lot of her own stunts back in her Alias days, but punching her man in the eye for boning the town floozy while he was on location? That’s gangster.

Gisele Bündchen Gives Us Another Reason to Totally Hate Her

Okay, not “hate her” hate her, but like, “Girl, you are one of the most beautiful women in the world, you’re married to Tom Brady and now Forbes is saying you’re on track to be the first billionaire model? I hate you.”

Between her high-end endorsement deals, eco-friendly clothing and jewelry line and countless modeling gigs over the year, Gisele Bündchen has made a pretty penny by just working hard. Forbes also cites her investment in pricey real estate as one of the many assets that will keep her wealthy long after she’s not a full-time mugger.

I wonder how Tyra “Bankable Productions” Banks feels about this news. I’m guessing there’s not a smize in sight today over at her place.