Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Victoria Jackson Has Some Important Thoughts About That Todd Akin Thing

A photo of Victoria Jackson

Hey, friends!  If you have a low tolerance for bullshit, you might want skip over this story. On the other hand, if you’re a big fan of Victoria Jackson’s political nonsense, this is the story for you!

Because, ok. Ugh. That Todd Akin thing. I’m sure many of you guys know about it already, but just to recap, Todd Akin is this Republican Senate nominee in Missouri, and he, of course, has strong feelings about abortion. Basically, he doesn’t like it, and he doesn’t want anyone partaking in it, even rape victims. Because check it out:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Do you see the logic? Rape victims just don’t get pregnant, at least they don’t if the rape is legitimate. So they don’t even need abortions. So, once again, the only people who want abortions are … I can’t even play anymore. This is bullshit, and it’s ridiculous, and it’s offensive. It doesn’t even make sense. And I think that regardless of what your own views are on the subject, we can all agree on that, right?

But, ridiculous or not, Victoria Jackson totally supports it:

“The Todd Akin thing was so blown out of proportion — it’s a joke,” Jackson said at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., when interviewed for my SiriusXM OutQ radio program. “How many times do people get pregnant from rape? It’s point zero zero one percent. It’s a joke. I read lots of articles. I know people, because I’m 53. I’ve know a lot of people, and I’ve actually never known anyone who got pregnant from being raped.”

“And guess what?” she continued. “If I got raped, I would have the baby. And if I didn’t want to keep it because I had these [mocking tone] horrible nightmares, I would adopt it out. But I think that God can turn a bad thing into a good thing. And that, if I got raped and a beautiful baby who was innocent was born out of it, that would be a blessing. The DNA of a baby is individual. It’s not the mother’s DNA. It’s not the father’s DNA. And that’s why I believe abortion is murder, because it’s not the woman’s body. It has it’s own DNA. If there’s a boy baby inside of me, he has a penis. That’s not my body.”

It’s not even funny anymore, it’s just sad and uncomfortable. So I don’t know about you guys, but I’m just going to spend the rest of the evening wishing and hoping with all my might that Victoria Jackson has just been involved in a very long, very believable goof. That this is all just satire, and that no one on the planet could really think like this. What about you guys?

29 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Of course she doesn’t know anyone who has been raped. Would you tell this fucking nutcase about one of the worst things that have ever happened to you? Especially if she hammers on about how having the child of your rapist –who by the way, would get visitation rights– is a gift from God? FUCKING HELL these people make me sick to my stomach, what the fuck is up with wanting to have a say with what goes on in my fucking uterus. I can’t even. I’m going to make some tea and calm down because u-g-h.

  • I don’t know that I know anybody that has been raped, much less been made pregnant by rape. SO WHAT! That means nothing.
    I haven’t known anybody that that died from being shot. That doesn’t mean bullets don’t kill. What an idiot.

    • “I haven’t known anybody that that died from being shot. That doesn’t mean bullets don’t kill.”

      This comment wins any and all other arguments. Well played.

    • Why? She is bat-shit crazy but still I do believe she is actually sincere about what she said. Again, bat-shit crazy but still, I would never wish rape on anyone.

  • I guess god could turn a ‘bad’ thing into a ‘good’ thing, like if Victoria was to bite off her stupid tongue and be fovever rendered mute, while simultaneously being mauled by a hand eating tiger, ensuring she never typed again…that would be a ‘good’ thing, right?
    Or maybe she could be the victim of a horrible event, and be told that her feelings and fears resulting from that trauma were inconsequential and wrong. That would be ‘good’ too. Wait! Maybe someone would decide that she was too stupid to control her own body-the government would take away her rights to decide what she did, and she would be forcibly lobotomized, because she is too stupid to function…maybe Todd and Victoria are on to something here…

    • @Penny if that actually happened, I would be in the closest church within moments of hearing this news. I would ask God to forgive me for doubting the mythology of him (or her). I would ask how can I serve thee?

      But alas, nothing like this will happen to Ms. Crazy-ass Jackson… with her and the rest of those (mostly Conservative) crazies running around spewing out their nonsense… that is proof that God doesn’t exist.

      To Liberal believers… no insult intended… I may not agree with you on this matter but at least, I hope, many of you do good by donating your time to help less fortunate.

  • Victoria Jackson needs to be fucked in the ass with a jackhammer. Oh wait, that’s what made her a totally vapid and irrelevant annoying dumb ass in the first place.
    Victoria Jackson needs to me raped in the mouth with a jackhammer and have her teeth and larynx legitimately knocked the fuck out.

  • Unless we have no problem with lies, misdirection, misogyny, and hate… we need to ALL get out and vote for Obama! Whatever you may dislike about the Democrats, you are probably wrong but more importantly you must consider that the alternative is much, much worse!

  • “It’s not the mother’s DNA, it’s not the father’s DNA.” Does this ignoramus even know how a baby is made?

  • Can someone PLEASE tell me what drugs she takes? I need to know so that I can avoid them!

    If it isn’t drugs… was she in a car accident? I need to know so that I can decide whether to think of her as the ultimate Conservative nutbag OR feel sorry for her brain damage.

  • I know celebs/politics shouldn’t mix or blah blah blah, but I would love to see a celebrity debate. First up, Clooney v. Victoria Jackson. Then Eastwood v. Freeman.

  • On a more serious note, she can talk about it happening to her and what she would do, but the whole point is she has that choice. It doesn’t demonstrate anything to say, “Well, I would hypothetically do blah etc. blah…” when you can ALREADY DO THAT IF YOU WANT TO. Go ahead and make that choice all. day. long. Victoria.
    But other people may not want to make that same choice. People who are “pro-life” will never have to face having their personal choice compromised by legislation. No one is going to force them to go have an abortion, so they really have nothing to lose in the grand scheme of things. Except control over women.
    Also, easy to my decisions on something that will never, ever happen. So, hypothetically talk about giving the rape baby that grows in your 53-y-o uterus up for adoption. I’ll be over here designing my dream bedroom for my house on fucking Saturn – I think I’ll go with solid gold floors and curtains made out of rainbows.

  • Victoria Jackson being part of the Republican National Convention says a hell of a lot more about the Republican Party than I’m sure they would like to have known. Between Victoria and Clint, I rest my case, fellow Democrats.

  • The DNA statement is pretty hilarious. Maybe she should do a little Mendel review. As for the rest, millions of people feel this way. Born of little else but fear and control, the Christian Right is a powerful drug. It’s easy to brainwash people from childhood into believing this. Freaking out about it, though, doesn’t help change their minds or their feelings about it. We have the option to not let their rhetoric get to us. I mean, Anne Coulter has fabulous ideas like this, but it always seems like she says things just to get a response…

  • It’s menopause and too much alcohol in private. She’s gone insane.

    Extreme conservatives like her puzzle me. She is absolutely okay with the conservative tenet of not using American tax dollars to feed “illegal” babies who have no idea how they got here or why,thus being okay with it if they starve to death(as that is what happens when you refuse to feed an infant) but she can’t deal with abortion due to rape? She’s all over place.

  • Well I actually DO know someone who was raped and got pregnant, actually I know two women that did. One had an abortion because she was only 13 and was way too young to handle raising a child and the other was 22. My friend who was 22 at the time decided to keep the child and loves him very much. So yes, it does happen. You know I consider myself a person of the Christian persuasion but I get so angry and when uneducated, bigoted Christian says stupid stuff like this. It makes us all look like idiots. And it’s getting harder and harder to justify and defend my faith to others too. People should really THINK about what they’re are saying before they say things, get some facts, get some education, wow!